• She screwed up and embarrassed herself..!

    QueenC [sign in to see picture]
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    I've just recieved a message from a friend asking for advice that I couldn't give to her. It made me feel bad, so I'm asking you lovely lot!

    Basically, a friend of mine has a huge thing for an ex work friend. She talks to him on Facebook every now and then and sees him socially every now and then aswell as she is still good friends with the people at her old job and often goes on the nights out. On the night out last week, she got absolutely wasted and blurted out to the guy that she "proper fancies" him. He laughed it off and that was that. On Facebook the next day, she tried to make things better but made them a lot more awkward and told him in depth what she likes about him, why, etc. She then waited for a few hours and asked him if he's got the message she had sent and said sorry for the way she's been acting. He said it's all fine and not to worry about it, but asked her if she was still single. She said yes, and he said he had to leave for work, and that was the last they talked about it.

    She started a conversation with him about work the next day and just asked if certain people still worked at the company, etc and says the conversation seemed to go well and wasn't awkward at all.

    She's asking now for some advice on how to talk to him and bring the conversation back around to how she is single and allow things to progress from there. She also wants to go to an event he has organised, even though he hasn't invited her but thought the conversation should go something like this:

    I ws going to say smthing like "Hey Steve, I saw you're organising a karaoke night in the swans head on sunday. A few of the girls hv asked me to go but tbh i've been making excuses not to! dont wna get drunk and embarass myself again lol!!" Becuase its not too much like 'im facebook stalking you' but still a bit weird or no?

    I've lost my touch a bit with men as I've been in a relationship for years and I really don't know what to tell her. I've told her to go with her gut instinct but if it was me, I probably wouldn't talk to him for at least a day or two so she doesn't come off as desperate or anything.

    So, any advice I can report back?! (And no, this isn't one of those 'my friend needs advice- but really I'm the one who needs the advice and my 'friend' doesn't exist!' things!! I really am just this rubbish at advice!)

    Thanks in advance :) xxx

    OhItIsLove<3 [sign in to see picture]
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    To me, it doesn't sound as if he likes her back in any way more than friendship. I think if he did like her he would have got back in contact after his work and started talking again. I may be wrong, but it seems as if she should let things settle for a while maybe see if he comes to her incase she comes across as a little too keen. Hope this helps a little, and hope you find the right advice - it's no good when you aren't sure how to help a friend!

    maltedmilk [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you "friend" ;) does sound like she's just further embarrassing herself tbh.

    Tell her to keep poised, she's already excused her actions, just let it pan out for a bit now. xx

    scarab9 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    personally i go for the open honest approach -"this is how i feel,if you dont feel the same no worries" . yeah you mightnot get the answer you want but you miss less chances and sav yourself a lot of stressing. also some guys dont have the confidence to assume theyre reading signals right. in fact MOST guys so for alass trying to grt a message across its prob even more sensible

    OhItIsLove<3 [sign in to see picture]
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    I would go for the honest approach too, but she's already told him she likes him when they were in the bar, then the next day expanded on why she likes him, surely there's been plenty of opportunity for him to say he likes her too? or even if he's not quite as forthcoming to invite her to this event he's organised and let it go from there?

    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I cant be 100% sure of course, but like the two previous posters, my gut instinct tells me from his actions (or lack of, so far) that he is either not interested, or wants time to think. After she got drunk and told him she fancied him he laughed it off and didnt take it further. Then the next day she opened up to him on faebook and poured out her feelings and he read it and didnt say anything back for hours until she asked if he had got it. He then had to reply out of politeness or to spare her feelings it seems because he was very vague, just saying yeh I got it are you single, ok gotta go. Then he didnt get back to her since then. To add further, he also didnt invite her to his party. :S

    I would say that if he had been interested he would of given some kind of indication by now unless he is a very very shy or reserved kind of man?

    My advice to your friend right now would be to wait. No more conversation unless he initiates, shes laid her cards on the table so now its just wait and see xx

    Georgina71 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
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    • Joined: 11 Nov 2012

    I agree with the previous posters. it does not sound like he's interested. This can change, but if he does not invite her to a party, pressuring him to do so won't do any good.

    Probably the best advice is to move on. Very hard to do when you are smitten, I know.

    QueenC [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 220
    • Joined: 23 Jan 2012

    Hi everyone, thanks for the advice :)

    I've just talked to her and told her she should sort of lay low for a while and although she's not keen, she said she will try. Knowing her, she's going to keep on talking to him though. She never has been very good with men though, which I just reminded her of, so hopefuly she'll keep quiet for a bit!

    Thanks again x

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