• Not staying hard?

    1352477818
    Kittykins [sign in to see picture]
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    OK so I've been searching the internet for ages for a solution, but all I can find is others asking the same thing with no solutions.
    I've been with my boyfriend 2 months known him almost 4 years (I know not very long in comparison to many), we have a real happy relationship (Least looking from my way it seems so :L) But here's a small blip, his penis doesn't stay up :(
    Everytime I have gone to do anything (specifically sex) he goes soft :( I don't know whether this is a feel of being pressuried or what? He's only ever ejaculated once (via handjob) and even then it didn't feel like he was at full mast when it happened. My other fear is it's because he's a boob man and I'm not blessed with the breast and it's a turn off.
    Advice please?
    (I did try to look this up in the forums but couldn't find anything in relation)

    1352478313
    mrs average [sign in to see picture]
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    Try getting a cock ring that has vibrating end to stimulate the man. If you look on my page I've reviewed a good one that we bought called death by orgasm fang banger cock ring (it sound vicious but it's absolutely not) It has 2 vibrating parts one for your clit and one for his balls. Also the ring bit that goes round his cock makes him stay harder for longer.

    1352478544
    maltedmilk [sign in to see picture]
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    Ha! Your cat is hilarious!!

    Have you actually asked him how he feels?

    Make sure he's very comfortable (you haven't been together long!) and that he is turned on, try a cock ring?

    1352482416
    Jesticulated [sign in to see picture]
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    Similar issues here, although here he starts hard, but is then unable to sustain it for long. We found cock rings, both vibrating and non really help him sustain it!

    1352482849
    la83 [sign in to see picture]
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    He may just be nervous, you haven't been together very long. He could always go to the doc about it.

    Please don't think he is turned off by you because he is a boob man, he obviously cares for you. You both need to sit down and talk about it, calmly.

    My hubby has erectile dysfunction and trouble with climaxing and he finds it frustrating, which is probably what your boyfriend is feeling. We get viagra off the doc but we are trying to find other ways for him to get his erections back. We have used these Big Daddy's Adjustable Cock Ring http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18919

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18919

    It don't stay up forever but it does help

    Talk to him and take care both of you, hope you can get sorted.

    1352489233
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    i dont really have this problem although occationly when we are having sex and its taking a while he starts going soft. we dont make a big thing about it and just decide to try again later. i think the problem is he gets fustrated so that puts him of so i would suggest you make sure he is in the right mood and isnt worried about anything. it could be that he is worrried about not saying hard so just not making a big deal of it is a good thing. if it doesnt work thou and you just want sex you could always try a holow strap on.

    1352490913
    coalman [sign in to see picture]
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    Similar problem here.

    Married 25 years and I keep getting "floppy" dick.

    Wife has tried every trick in the book.

    Hand job's/oral/prostrate massage.

    It comes up for a while then goes down again (like stuffing an oyster in a parking metre at times)

    Although She's very understanding,I do realise that it's p****** Her off and making Her feel I don't care about Her anymore.

    Couldn't be further from the truth.

    Suggested going to Doctor, But due to gun license renewal next year I can't have "Stress" related impotance on my medical record.

    Although I'm not under any stress Dr's use the term to cover a multitude of problems.

    Also tried decreasing blood flow using rings (didn't help) Had one too tight and scrotum swelled up.Bloody painful.Although not tried the vibrating one's yet.

    Tried pumping to increase blood flow.

    Impressive for a while (not long enough though)even with a ring .

    Bondage/dressing up/role play all have the same effect.(Wife even suggested water sports)

    How water skiing or polo is going to help

    Everything worked until I hit the Birthday closer to 50 than 40 then it all went ass up.

    Dave.

    .

    1352499821
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    mookie864 wrote:

    Youre getting alot of great advice here. Also different position affect a man's erection as well. A man tends to maintain a better more solid erection if he is standing or in a position like doggie style. Typically if a man is laying on his back its harder for the blood to flow more fluidly to the penis.

    interesting. on back is aleways the position my partner loses it in.

    1352553340
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sure most of my issues with this have been stress related or at least not being able to get my mind to bear on the, er, job in hand. However, I have to say that pelvic floor exercises have made a big improvement to the situation. I started a thread on the topic a while back:-

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/461086-there-is-more-to-a-stiffy-than-meets-the/

    and I have been keeping up the (electrically assisted) exercises ever since. As I mentioned at the start of that thread there is a reflex pumping action at work which acts to maintain the erection and I reckon it's the effectiveness of this reflex that the pelvic floor exercises improve. Of course there is a psychological aspect to this as well - knowing that the 'hardware' is in really good shape means I'm happy that any erection issue I have is stress related. These issues still happen from time to time but only when I have my head so full of some work/family problem that I can't stop myself thinking about it. (Unfortunately, Mrs G had a habit of casually asking about how I'm getting on with these intractable problems just before we go to bed but she is learning not to!)
    1352558671
    Naked_butler [sign in to see picture]
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    as everyone said a cock ring would help

    1352561617
    la83 [sign in to see picture]
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    The link does not work for me, didn't come up in the search either gyrator53. Would be interesting to read.

    1352562826
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for the heads up on that - looks like the editor added an extra / at the end of the link. Hopefully it won't do it this time.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/461086-there-is-more-to-a-stiffy-than-meets-the/

    1352564628
    la83 [sign in to see picture]
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    Brilliant, thank you gyrator53, will go and have a read now.

    1355131818

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    Try a blue tablet

    Golden root will keep his cock as hard as rock for 12 to 24 hours at least

    Hope this helps

    1355136654
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
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    You might want to read about the knock-on consequences of ischaemic priapisms!

    1355246475
    Janny [sign in to see picture]
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    Mmm as a man, I do recognize this, and think most men do. It's difficult to explain, you have the most beautiful sexy woman naked in front of you, and although you want to, you can't perform. And then the tables turn, because she feels bad thinking its her fault, when it is not, which make you as a man feel even worse. You seem to have a good relationship which is good, take your time.

    1355253317
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the 'aids' like cock-rings and pills are a bit of a double-edged sword. While they help on the purely physical level at least part of the problem for most guys is the mental issue. If you think you won't get a stiffy then chances are you won't. And reliance on some sort of aid really isn't going to help in the self-esteem department.

    I'm glad I found out how effective pelvic floor exercises are and gave up on the cock ring. I'm sure the purveyors of the little blue pills (with very deep pockets for publicity) are rather keen that as few people as possibe find out they really don't need them.

    1355287238
    Janny [sign in to see picture]
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    Gyrator53 wrote:

    I think the 'aids' like cock-rings and pills are a bit of a double-edged sword. While they help on the purely physical level at least part of the problem for most guys is the mental issue. If you think you won't get a stiffy then chances are you won't. And reliance on some sort of aid really isn't going to help in the self-esteem department.

    I'm glad I found out how effective pelvic floor exercises are and gave up on the cock ring. I'm sure the purveyors of the little blue pills (with very deep pockets for publicity) are rather keen that as few people as possibe find out they really don't need them.

    I agree, most of the time it is in the mind

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