• Got a new fella, first one since having a kid and a shit relationship...advice needed!

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    shyfilth [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok so my baby was born three years ago, broke up with his dad 2 yrs ago...he used to be quite insulting n we had a shit sex life for 5 years.

    Previous to that relationship i was outgoing, daring, adventerous and confident with an insanely high sex drive....now im seeing this new guy (only a few weeks into relationship but we've known each other years) and im very paranoid and have lost my drive alot. We've had sex a couple of times but although pleasureable its been dull, hes down this weekend to see me and I want to do something to prove to him but more to myself that im the same person i used to be!!!

    I have outfits galore, i have an incredible body (have done various fitness modelling shoots), i have toys etc....every thing needed for an exciting night in bedroom lol but as soon as things get intimate i freeze a bit....please can anyone help!!! I've tried having a few wines before hand but i darent do anything adventerous or sexy :( id love to answer the door dressed up and be the dominent mistress i used to be....haa!!! Y oh y cant i!

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    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    Just believe in yourself if you have confidence it will come across xx Drink always help x

    1350940687
    xPleasureSeekerx [sign in to see picture]
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    I find the only thing that helps me to gain confidence when it comes to sex is alcohol- sad as that may sound! Although, if you have confidence in yourself (which it sounds like you do) you should just go for it! Even the most outgoing and confident person will be nervous when having sex with a new person and dressing up for them... I'm sure he won't mind so just try and have fun :)

    1350940770

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    relax....sex isnt THAT important anyway...just have a good time

    1350943272
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    shyfilth wrote:

    I want to do something to prove to him but more to myself that im the same person i used to be!!!

    I wonder whether the trick is to convince yourself first. Try on some of your outfits by yourself -- ideally in front of a long mirror -- and appreciate honestly all of the good things that you see in your reflection. Take time to re-discover that you feel sexy in the outfits, and choose your current favourites. Imagine the effect that they'll have on any red-blooded straight guy, and then visualise how good it would feel for you to deliver that surprise to your new OH.

    Of course, you won't know how your new OH is going to react, but the aspect that's within your control is for you to feel gorgeous, comfortable and sexy in yourself and the way that you present yourself. The rest is then down to him.

    Good luck!

    1350953848
    cheer_up [sign in to see picture]
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    Cuddly Hubby wrote:

    I wonder whether the trick is to convince yourself first. Try on some of your outfits by yourself -- ideally in front of a long mirror -- and appreciate honestly all of the good things that you see in your reflection. Take time to re-discover that you feel sexy in the outfits, and choose your current favourites. Imagine the effect that they'll have on any red-blooded straight guy, and then visualise how good it would feel for you to deliver that surprise to your new OH.

    Of course, you won't know how your new OH is going to react, but the aspect that's within your control is for you to feel gorgeous, comfortable and sexy in yourself and the way that you present yourself. The rest is then down to him.

    Good luck!

    This is a really good idea off Cuddly Hubby. You're already miles ahead of many women by appreciating that you have a smoking hot body that should be shown off

    What about investing in a sexy negligee/robe such as http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15034 to answer the door in? Something that suggests, but doesn't give the whole game away. You could lead him to the bedroom, get him to lie on the bed, and then open the dressing gown to reveal one of your outfits? It would allow you time to get used to him seeing you in something a little slinky, rather than throwing yourself in at the deep end (although, you could do that instead!). Then, if all goes well, next time you'll probably have the confidence to surprise him at the door the way you seem to want to.

    1350955941
    Shy guy [sign in to see picture]
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    Usually halve the problem is admitting there's a problem....so your already 50% of the way there!

    We had a slightly different problem, when my OH lost her drive following depression. It has taken time to come back. In this situation I would ask what the rush is! Build up to something special, learn about each other. Make things fun.....

    I would also talk to him. As you've know each other for a while I would assume he knows about your previous relationship. If put in the right way he may be able to help bring you to the place you want to go.

    I nearly wrote he might be able to bring the old you back, but please do bear in mind your older and more experienced (good and bad) but you might not be the same person you were three of four years ago.

    Starting a new relationship, is difficult enough. Please don't add further pressure and stress onto yourself and you new relationship.

    But if you don't like the above, I always find a french maid outfit, feather duster and a little alcohol would be a good starting point,

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