• Playful revenge

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    Noon [sign in to see picture]
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    As many will have read recently my OH broke my heart a couple of weeks ago.

    She is desperate to try and make it up to me and has suggested perhaps I take playful revenge against her.

    I would quite like something that tormet the shmuck that tried to come between us, but that is probably asking for trouble!

    Anyway, does anyone have any expereince or ideas?

    Can recovering from  infidelity by turning the making up into a game help us get over it, or is too serious a thing?

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    LauraP [sign in to see picture]
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    This has to be something between you and her and I wouldn't bring a third party in on it. I have a few deal breakers. Things that are unforgivable and signal the end of a relationship. Infidelity, violence, consistent verbal abuse, smoking, alcohol abuse and drug abuse are just some of the things I don't tolerate.

    However thats just me.

    In the end its your life and if you can forgive her and build a stronger relationship thats great. However from everything you've said about her maybe its time to consider taking some time apart. If you can't be happy alone are you going to be confident enough to stop her walking over you again?

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    Cat Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    I've no idea what would count as playful revenge.   Interesting thought, though.  I suppose it depends what the relationship is like, if you have (or have had in the past) that kind of playfulness already.  If you do, maybe it would work.

    My suggestion would be to get her to cut contact with this other guy if she hasn't already and to take some time out as a couple, maybe go on a mini-break or something.  I think some quality time away from the reality of everyday life would be good for you both. 

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    Lou22 [sign in to see picture]
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    Well i agree that meeting the man involved would be a mistake, i think it will only make you more upset and make you start to question more things. As for the playful revenge i think this could be a dangerous route to go down. However playful it maybe if you start to try and get back at your partner while you still have the memory of the past few weeks in your head i don't think you'll feel any better and you may both end up more hurt.
    Ultimately i don't think this is something that can be sorted without time and talking. It seems a bit like your partner is looking for a quick fix so you will forgive her before you're ready to.
    Really hope everything works out for the best x

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    [suspended user]

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    Noon....just move on and draw a line under it, any type of revenge playful or otherwise is keeping the issue "live"   my opinion any way....good luck

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    Plain Jane [sign in to see picture]
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     Noon dear,  just take a step back and a good hard look at how things seem.

      It is difficult to advise people we don't know even if we do so want it to work out for them.

    If you are sure in your heart that you want a reconciliation then go ahead but don't take the playful revenge because that could go so wrong.

    GJ

     

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I read about your situation recently but didn't have the ability to reply then - I've just moved and only just got wifi back - anyway, I know we don't always see eye to eye, but I do want to express my condolences sincerely and I hope the situation improves with time.

    With regards to the question at hand - I'd worry about how this may affect your own feelings, could it lead to resentment? Perhaps it would help to trivialise it a little which may be what you're aiming for (even though it's far from trivial in reality), but if you were to go down that route I'd maybe suggest it'd be worth setting a time limit, after which you can draw a line under the whole situation. It isn't fair on either of you if this becomes a long term issue so forgiveness and ultimately forgetting about it is important but that does take time and perhaps your idea might help whilst you're working your way there.

    I can't see it'd be a great idea to bring the third party into it though, even if they weren't to know. Then you make the issue about the other person when in fact they don't matter - what's important is focusing on reconciling with your partner!

    Adx

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