• How to get my boyfriend to open up to sex toys?!!

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    xPleasureSeekerx [sign in to see picture]
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    Need serious advice- My boyfriend has me majorly confused!

    Sometimes, he is extremely outgoing with regards to sex and really wants to experiment. However, other times he can be quite prudish and isn't willing to explore sex toys with me...

    It's quite frustrating as I really want to spice up our sex lives. We are both young- I'm 20, He is 25, and we had a child one year ago. We've had a few problems in our relationship but I feel it's time we got back to the new and exciting phase and I want to introduce toys.

    I have one small toy which I use alone, he is aware I use it and we have used it together once but he hasn't been keen on using it again! I really want sex toys to be a part of our sex life and don't want to give up on this... I have bought sexy underwear and outfits which I have been too embarrassed to wear as I'm afraid of what his reaction may be.

    I need advice on how to slowly introduce toys to our sex life and get my partner more sex driven.

    Thanks :)

    1349394828
    WeeSteve [sign in to see picture]
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    hay hun x

    you could do some shopping with him on here, let him see if theres anything he would like to use on you or see you wear x

    1349394995
    Butterfly-Wings [sign in to see picture]
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    You could ask him what he feels his limits are and what he feels comfortable... I know if I got bigger toys my partner wouldn't like it as he would feel inadequete. See what his reply is and go from there. x

    1349433475
    MissTerryCleavage [sign in to see picture]
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    Here's a well-written guide from Lh that might help http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/sex-toys-for-couples/buyers-guide/how-to-introduce-sex-toys-into-a-relationship/

    It could be that he feels 'rejected' if you want to introduce toys, he may be feeling that it is because he isn't good enough for you and you're unsatisfied, rather than seeing toys as an enhancement to what you are doing. Communication is the key, being open and honest and reassuring him it shouldn't be seen as a replacement for him, or that it is because he is doing something wrong, but that you want to make it better for both of you.

    Start of slowly, something unthreatening, a bullet or similar, then take it from there :)

    1349441937
    xPleasureSeekerx [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks all :) Gonna try and start this off tonight... Wish me luck!

    1349512996
    WildThing [sign in to see picture]
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    Hope it went well.....

    My GF and I only recently started using this site (we're a similar age) and the best thing to get either party interested was buying each other a gift.

    I bought her a vibrator and she chose me a stroker sleeve. Try it. Buy him a present for him, something for him to enjoy, then give it to him to use (o bette, YOU use it on him!) and enjoy and that should convert him. Use lovehoney to let him scroll and choose something for you in time when he seems satisfied.

    1349513357
    Fr33b1rd [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it's important that you communicate with him. It could be he thinks sex toys are about you not being satisfied with him, it's important that h sees this as something good for you both, buying him a toy is a great idea but only if he wants to xperimnt. If you can't face talking to him, try asking him through email or text or by writing a letter. You need to go on this journy together, you can't drag him with you.

    1349735430
    xPleasureSeekerx [sign in to see picture]
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    Just bought a lovehoney stroker and lube! Should be here by Friday- hopefully his reaction will be positive!! Thanks for all the advice :)

    1350166977
    xPleasureSeekerx [sign in to see picture]
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    Hasn't arrived yet :/ Tomorrow will be two weeks since we last had sex.. I am so frustrated. Went out to the cinema tonight and had a good time, gave him oral before we left and he put love balls into me and I wore them out :) Felt good and still wearing now however he has just plugged in the playstation... SHOOT ME! lol. Pretty fed up at this point if I'm honest.

    1350208748
    uxo [sign in to see picture]
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    Perhaps ask him if he's got any fantasies that he'd like to try out, and then try to strike a bit of a deal with the toys!

    1350218220
    wildjezz [sign in to see picture]
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    crikey i think there could be loads of ways talking looking on LH together writing down things you would like to try out,Printing some pictures off sending links to toys so he cn chek it out by himself.

    Talking is the key.

    1350481943
    xPleasureSeekerx [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok so the stroker and lube arrived on Monday! Was working Monday night so decided I would try it with him last night!!

    Was very well recieved, I used it on him and he enjoyed it. He said it made him a bit sore at the end but other than that a good experience. However, after using it on him and bringing him to orgasm, I was extremely turned on and needed to cum also... He said he wouldn't be able to get it up again and that was that. No offering to touch me, use a toy on me, nothing. I lay there in shock and asked would he use a toy on me he said no as he didn't want anyone in the house hearing. He then rolled over and fell asleep.

    To say I was pissed off is an understatement!!

    Selfish prick or am I over reacting???

    1350483980
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    xPleasureSeekerx wrote:

    Ok so the stroker and lube arrived on Monday! Was working Monday night so decided I would try it with him last night!!

    Was very well recieved, I used it on him and he enjoyed it. He said it made him a bit sore at the end but other than that a good experience. However, after using it on him and bringing him to orgasm, I was extremely turned on and needed to cum also... He said he wouldn't be able to get it up again and that was that. No offering to touch me, use a toy on me, nothing. I lay there in shock and asked would he use a toy on me he said no as he didn't want anyone in the house hearing. He then rolled over and fell asleep.

    To say I was pissed off is an understatement!!

    Selfish prick or am I over reacting???

    Wow, how incredibly selfish!

    I don't understand how he's fine with being pleasured but refused and ignored your needs. I'd be more than upset by this.

    Does he not initiate anything sexually? I'd suggest talking to him and letting him no that it's not acceptable that he's ignoring your needs. Part of the pleasure is giving as well as receiving. I reckon a night of him tending to you and your needs is more than overdue. The thing with some men is that they can be quite oblivious about these issues that's why instead of penting up all this tension you should try and talk to him. It's not fair on you to feel neglected especially when you are putting effort into making him feel sexually satisfied and happy.

    Let us know how you get on.

    1350520820
    xPleasureSeekerx [sign in to see picture]
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    Nymeria wrote:

    xPleasureSeekerx wrote:

    Ok so the stroker and lube arrived on Monday! Was working Monday night so decided I would try it with him last night!!

    Was very well recieved, I used it on him and he enjoyed it. He said it made him a bit sore at the end but other than that a good experience. However, after using it on him and bringing him to orgasm, I was extremely turned on and needed to cum also... He said he wouldn't be able to get it up again and that was that. No offering to touch me, use a toy on me, nothing. I lay there in shock and asked would he use a toy on me he said no as he didn't want anyone in the house hearing. He then rolled over and fell asleep.

    To say I was pissed off is an understatement!!

    Selfish prick or am I over reacting???

    Wow, how incredibly selfish!

    I don't understand how he's fine with being pleasured but refused and ignored your needs. I'd be more than upset by this.

    Does he not initiate anything sexually? I'd suggest talking to him and letting him no that it's not acceptable that he's ignoring your needs. Part of the pleasure is giving as well as receiving. I reckon a night of him tending to you and your needs is more than overdue. The thing with some men is that they can be quite oblivious about these issues that's why instead of penting up all this tension you should try and talk to him. It's not fair on you to feel neglected especially when you are putting effort into making him feel sexually satisfied and happy.

    Let us know how you get on.

    Nymeria, totally agreed!! Selfish...

    Sooo today we were a bit off with eachother, then he went to the gym and when he returned he was quite enthusiastic about touching me although it wasn't an appropriate time (we have a young baby)

    He usually initiates everything... as whenever I try to, he usually rejects me and makes me feel crap if I'm honest :/ Bothers me that he gets sex pretty much whenever he feels like it cos I'm the one waiting around for him to want me... Very confused at the minute!

    1350576121
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    Hm, my partner was pretty stand-offish (I'm the "clingy" one ;P) too but we talk loads being in a long distance relationship so he knows how "needy" I can be at times. Even then, it's normal to want to feel reassured by your partner. If you're not getting that comfort then it needs to be stated. As I said before- guys can be really oblivious. I used to get annoyed when I'd want to spend more time together whereas he was content- I'd then try to push myself away hoping he'd become closer to me... but all it does is stress me out further and having him further away lol.

    I've learned to just tell him exactly what I want and how I feel. Sometimes that can feel hard because it can feel like you're putting yourself out there to be rejected once again- but I think this is much better than going through the confusion and stress of the distance and feelings of neglect.

    I'd suggest coming to some sort of compromise. Have a day organised where you and your partner/s can spend some quality time together, this can end up being a movie night or a sexy night in etc.

    Hope things get better for you both.

    1350597424
    xPleasureSeekerx [sign in to see picture]
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    Woah it's quite reassuring to know I'm not alone, so sorry you feel as shit as I do :( It's really offputting isn't it? I'm fed up of being rejected but I agree with you, Nymeria, I think the best way is to jus be open and honest with how I'm feeling and risking the rejection yet again. Tonight we have had a lot of fun together just laughing and joking and I feel a lot more positive. Hopefully he will relax with me as I know I have not been an easy person to live with lately (postnatal depression and a million other things!)

    Fingers crossed things improve :)

    1350861446
    xPleasureSeekerx [sign in to see picture]
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    Well...

    We had a very interesting day yesterday!! Got into a fight which later resulted in amaaaazing make up sex :) Haha, I am one happy girl today, he has opened up a lot and I am hoping it lasts! x

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