• OPEN RELATIONSHIPS/MARRIAGES

    1348935210
    U.S.Huney_Bunz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 26 Sep 2012

    Open Marriges & relationships can either be that spark that some needed or be the very thing to ruin what you have. Its a big debate agmonst allot of people, whether to try it & see where it takes the relationship up or, stay away from it. all together. Personally, I've never experienced an open relationship. I'm actually quite selfish when it comes to sharing my man with anyone. I just can't get with it. But to others, its perfectly fine to explore that option when you do have it.

    So, the question of the day is....R U OKAY WITH AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP? Eplain why or why not & what has it done for you & your lover?

    1348938360
    MissKittyM [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 35
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2012

    not any more im not, mainly because he left me for her LOL! but everyone has a diferent view/opinion on these types of things, but for me i dont think i shall be doing that again.

    1348938708
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1115
    • Joined: 26 Mar 2010

    MissKittyM wrote:

    not any more im not, mainly because he left me for her LOL! but everyone has a diferent view/opinion on these types of things, but for me i dont think i shall be doing that again.

    Ouch.. Think that's the worst case scenario. >.<

    Definitely not my thing. I get jealous easily anyways.

    1348938894
    Butterfly-Wings [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 115
    • Joined: 12 Jan 2010

    I wouldn't be okay with it... Simply because I should be enough he should be completely happy with me otherwise I wouldn't be the right person for him. Saying that though I have nothing against him going to a strip club or having lap dances, their work is strictly proffessional and would rather him be honest than keeping it a secret or lie. I'm guessing if we entered the relationship as an open relationship then it would be very different.

    1348941244
    U.S.Huney_Bunz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 26 Sep 2012

    Love all your reponses...

    1348941515
    Miss K [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 143
    • Joined: 2 Dec 2010

    I have to say it's not somethime i would be comforable doing. All though I'm not the jealous type i just don't think I could cope.

    1348942565
    Minxbaby [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 109
    • Joined: 16 Oct 2010

    Mmm - I don't think that I would be comfortable with this either, however, I would say that I would have more success than my hubby due to the amount of single men that seem to be around - if that sort of arrangement were to take place with our marriage, then it would be through sites only and not picking people up in the pub!

    1348944657
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 736
    • Joined: 10 Oct 2011

    i can see the appeal and i think that if done with honesty and transparency in a long tearm relationship it could be fun.

    i get jelous easy so i dont think it would work for me. i do understand however that if i want to stay with my current partner for the future then he might get curious having only ever had sex with me. equaly having only had sex with one other person i might get easily curious. therefore we have decided that when the time comes it is okay to shair at playparties as it will provide the variety we need in an an honest and casual way.

    1348945400
    OperationFilth [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 546
    • Joined: 12 Oct 2008

    We have a sexually non-monogamous relationship - what some might refer to as open.

    We do have rules though - 1) that everyone must know and be fine with it and 2) that the other party must not be a dick. (As in person, not the anatomy).

    I used to be incredibly jealous by nature but hey, things evolved for us. And we have a lot of fun!

    1349002078
    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 731
    • Joined: 9 Aug 2010

    I have far too jealous a nature and I don't think I could ever cope with this.

    If OH suggested this Im not sure how i'd react!

    1349003029
    QueenC [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 202
    • Joined: 23 Jan 2012

    I've never really understood open relationships. If I was with someone, and also seeing other people, then I would consider myself to be single and playing the field a bit. I don't really see the point in saying its a relationship when you're with different people.

    I know people who are swingers and are very happily married, and this I kind of understandI guess (although it would never be for me), and I also know a lady who has a husband and a boyfriend. The men know about each other and take it turns, so to speak, to go out with her and go away for weekends. They sometimes all go away for the weekend together, but one will sleep in the bed with her and one will sleep in a separate bed. I find it very weird.

    I think if my boyfriend ever brought it up (which he wouldn't, the little prude that he is), I would finish it there and then. Once I'm with someone, thats it- I would never want to cheat or see someone else, even if it was arranged and consensual.

    1349003706
    swingcouple [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 178
    • Joined: 29 Jan 2008

    Yes, we are in an open relationship and both very happy with it too. We were both married before for many years (and have children from these marriages) and our exes were not very sexually-oriented, but we are both very highly sexed. The result was we both had affairs and one-night-stands; him in secret, her mostly with her ex's knowledge and consent.

    We met when divorced, fell in love and married after a couple of years, but we were honest about our sexual needs right from the start, and started swinging as a couple almost immediately. This works very well by giving us the variety we need without diminishing our love (in fact it has increased it). If we want sex with anyone on a one-to-one basis we discuss it first, or if either of us has a one-night stand when away from home on business, we tell the other when we are next together. Our only rules are - don't keep secrets, don't fall in love, and always use condoms. This has worked for us for over 10 years now.

    Don't think this sort of relationship would have worked for either of us when we were younger, though. We have several couples of good friends of the same age who we swing with regularly, and they have exactly the same sort of relationship as ours.

    1349004665
    QueenC [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 202
    • Joined: 23 Jan 2012

    I can see how it works for people, like yourselves, Swingcouple. But I still don't really get it. I would get way too jealous and don't understand how people don't.

    One of Swingcouples rules is don't fall in love. I think thats impossible to rule out, personally. What if one day, one of you meets someone, has a one night stand and really feels a powerful connection? I guess that to you both, and for anyone else in an open relationship, it is all about sex and not feelings, but I don't see how you can say you would never feel something for one of your partners or one night stands. We don't choose who to fall for, it just happens, and I think it can happen with anyone, wether there's a rule against it or not.

    (Sorry, swingcouple, I feel like I'm picking on you! I'm really not, sorry if I seem like I am!! xxx)

    1349005033
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1115
    • Joined: 26 Mar 2010

    To be honest I thought like you, QueenC but after discussing it with my OH I realised that there are some people that can have sex without the emotional and intimacy that perhaps we always associate with sex.

    I couldn't and wouldn't be able to have sex without any emotional and psychological attachment as I don't see it as just a physical thing but some people can. Like my OH who has had numerous partners in the past- it was just "sex".

    I think these people that are able to see it as more of a physical urge and act are more capable of having an open relationship. I reckon that there's a huge element of trust attached though- to be able to trust that person on that level where you can share them physically but have an emotionally solid base.

    I find it interesting but definitely not for me.

    1349027676
    Mr Clit [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 13 Apr 2012

    i could not do that i love my oh to mutch could not handle it

    1349028420
    S&S [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 487
    • Joined: 13 Feb 2011

    It wouldn't be for us. The possibility has been brought up in conversation before but we both agreed that it would feel too much like cheating even if it was agreed upon. I wouldn't be able to share him and would worry constantly about him falling for someone else. I couldn't stand the thought of him with someone else or them touching him- he's mine. I think if he asked me to do it I would have to leave him. I know that he would feel the same if was the other way around - he would think that I'm enough for him and would be very jealous.

    We are quite adventurous in our sex lives but an open relationship would be one step to far for us.

    1349034997
    lilac_vix [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 363
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2010

    MissKittyM wrote:

    not any more im not, mainly because he left me for her LOL! but everyone has a diferent view/opinion on these types of things, but for me i dont think i shall be doing that again.

    This happened to me as well, but it hasn't put me off open relationships. I think the key is you just have to communitacte, you have to have agreed the rules and like in any relationship if someone is breaking the rules you need to be strong and know when to walk away. I think my ex would have cheated on me with the other girl regardless of us having an open relationship. We agreed we would not start a relationship or friendship with other people we slept with, they would be just sex, but he broke that rule treating her as a friend and then falling in love with her.

    1349077402
    boing-boing [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 138
    • Joined: 16 Mar 2012

    I really don't think I could cope with it, I'd get jealous far too quickly and always be second guessing what was going on when I wasn't around.

    1349109284
    U.S.Huney_Bunz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 26 Sep 2012

    Boing-Boing, I so agree with you...I'd be extremely paranoid about that! It's exactly why I'm so selfish when it comes to mu husband & don't share!!!

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.