• Could you live without sex

    1348829816
    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok my answer (sort of).

    A few years ago I wasn't interested at all and I would have said yes I could go without sex forever quite easily.

    Then I met my current partner and that completely changed, we had a really active sex life for around a year. After that he went off it completely and wouldn't tell me why, he paid me very little attention (in any way) for the next two years, leaving me very hurt, angry and frustrated.

    A few months ago I got it out of him that sex was actually causing him pain when he orgasms and that was the reason he was avoiding it. He then started getting pain when he gets even the beginning of an errection. We went to the doctors to be told he has peyronies disease which is causing the pain when errect and he didn't know what was causing the pain when he comes so we are now waiting for a hospital appointment.

    It may not come to it but theres a chance that this peyronies disease may mean that it gets so bad that it will make sex impossible. There is an operation that might help but I'm not sure I could ask my partner to go through that purely as the only real reason to have it is the chance it might mean that sex is possible again.

    On the other hand I feel really quite shallow because I've only had 1 year of a normal sex life and I'm not sure I'm ready to give that sort of intimacy up for the rest of my life should it come to that (hopefully it wont)

    So for those who have said no, would something like this change your answer assuming you loved the other person involved?

    I think if it comes to the no sex ever again thing then I would have to deal with it on the basis that he would need to make ALOT more effort in other respects.

    1348829957
    wildjezz [sign in to see picture]
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    I guesss i could but i couldn't live without masturbating.

    1348831402
    Aphrodite2011 [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with what Avrielle_Aniko said about needing physical intimacy in a relationship.

    1348831884
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    morefun wrote:

    Ok my answer (sort of).

    A few years ago I wasn't interested at all and I would have said yes I could go without sex forever quite easily.

    Then I met my current partner and that completely changed, we had a really active sex life for around a year. After that he went off it completely and wouldn't tell me why, he paid me very little attention (in any way) for the next two years, leaving me very hurt, angry and frustrated.

    A few months ago I got it out of him that sex was actually causing him pain when he orgasms and that was the reason he was avoiding it. He then started getting pain when he gets even the beginning of an errection. We went to the doctors to be told he has peyronies disease which is causing the pain when errect and he didn't know what was causing the pain when he comes so we are now waiting for a hospital appointment.

    It may not come to it but theres a chance that this peyronies disease may mean that it gets so bad that it will make sex impossible. There is an operation that might help but I'm not sure I could ask my partner to go through that purely as the only real reason to have it is the chance it might mean that sex is possible again.

    On the other hand I feel really quite shallow because I've only had 1 year of a normal sex life and I'm not sure I'm ready to give that sort of intimacy up for the rest of my life should it come to that (hopefully it wont)

    So for those who have said no, would something like this change your answer assuming you loved the other person involved?

    I think if it comes to the no sex ever again thing then I would have to deal with it on the basis that he would need to make ALOT more effort in other respects.

    I think if myself or my OH (who I love deeply) was unable to perform then we'd explore and experiment in other ways to fulfil our sexual desires- and no that doesn't mean other people! I just think there can be ways to go about it that is still able to satisfy eachother on a sexual and intimate level.

    Going back to my original answer- I still go with it. I would have happily gone without sexual contact without experiencing it so. But I'd like to always have that sexual/physical/emotional bond with my partner, whatever the circumstance.

    Sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you both are able to come to a mutual satisfying compromise and hope that you won't be feeling neglected- in both sides.

    1348836038
    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    Well it wouldn't be possible to do anything that would risk exciting him since that causes him pain. So there wouldn't be anything remotely intimate. :(

    1348839234
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    morefun wrote:

    Well it wouldn't be possible to do anything that would risk exciting him since that causes him pain. So there wouldn't be anything remotely intimate. :(

    Oh, that really sucks. =(

    *hugs*

    1348840535
    Danni71 [sign in to see picture]
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    Be almost 4 years since I had sex.. :( bad experiance last time broke my trust......

    1348844049
    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    Aw rant is fine at least you now realise it was not your fault.

    Have you had any luck finding housing for yourself yet?

    1348870719
    Mr Clit [sign in to see picture]
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    no way in hell could i live with out sex i have a verry high sex drive

    1348871821
    Ms HKM [sign in to see picture]
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    Define sex, penetrative, oral?

    I could definitely live without penetrative sex, but I don't think i could live without 'play' - spanking etc

    1348873011
    OperationFilth [sign in to see picture]
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    No, going without makes me a bit crazy.

    1348873069
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    yes i could.

    i was a virgin untill i was 19 - so reaching sexual maturity at about 14 -15 i went without for a long time.

    I've been single for a long time too so have gotten used to not having sex. it's awesome when i get it but not a big deal if i don't. i'd rather find someone who i love and want to be with then someone i just want sex with

    1348919667
    chickylicky [sign in to see picture]
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    I couldn't live without intimacy. I have come through a sexless marriage and don't think I could cope again .

    1348925280
    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm actually quite suprised by the number of people saying no even though it may be a medical reason why.

    I can understand both points of view though having gone from 0-highly sexed. at the same time I feel that love should be more important which I guess I would go with as I couldn't have sex with just anyone anyway.

    1348927935
    Wetone [sign in to see picture]
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    No way. I love the intimacy that we share. It's special and the only thing that's 'just ours' - our 'us' time. I also love the fact that we can read each others body language and instantly know what the other is thinking. I really get off knowing how to please my OH sexually. Every kind of sex, from mind blowing pure fucking sessions with toy play or slow, sensual, just us love making, brings us closer together as a couple. It's something that has just got better and better over the 20-odd years we've been together.

    1348959895
    lilac_vix [sign in to see picture]
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    If, say, I was with someone I loved and there was some reason they could not have sex I wouldn't leave them because of it. I would expect that our relationship would continue to be sexual though even if we were not having actual sex. Intimacy and mutual giving of pleasure is important to me.

    I would not just give up sex.

    1349046486
    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    lilac_vix wrote:

    If, say, I was with someone I loved and there was some reason they could not have sex I wouldn't leave them because of it. I would expect that our relationship would continue to be sexual though even if we were not having actual sex. Intimacy and mutual giving of pleasure is important to me.

    I would not just give up sex.

    Even if it caused him/her pain even to become aroused, meaning that there could be no sexual contact or possibly even passionate snogging may be off limits otherwise it may cause the partner suffering if they became excited?

    1349047733
    PurringTiger [sign in to see picture]
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    I've thought quite a bit about this and for a couple of years I did live without it due to it causing me pain and having a seriously stressful time trying to adjust to a major life changing disability but that was more my choice than anything. I just didn't feel sexy and it was quite honestly the last thing on my mind. Of course I felt bad for my partner at the time but he was a complete rock for me throughout it all and was extremely understanding.

    Now though I've found a way to deal with it and can negate the effects a fair bit by taking an extra dose of meds before sex it helps me to keep an active sex life. So I'd prefer not to live without it as I find it extremely enjoyable and the endorphins is releases can override a lot of the pain signals.

    However if I was with a long term partner that I loved and wanted to spend and commit the rest of my life to them and they developed something that made sex impossible, then I would choose the relationship over sex. To me sharing my life with someone is more important than sex alone. Masturbation and toys are always there but having someone you connect to on such a level is a much rarer thing.

    1349048125
    lilac_vix [sign in to see picture]
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    morefun wrote:

    lilac_vix wrote:

    If, say, I was with someone I loved and there was some reason they could not have sex I wouldn't leave them because of it. I would expect that our relationship would continue to be sexual though even if we were not having actual sex. Intimacy and mutual giving of pleasure is important to me.

    I would not just give up sex.

    Even if it caused him/her pain even to become aroused, meaning that there could be no sexual contact or possibly even passionate snogging may be off limits otherwise it may cause the partner suffering if they became excited?

    I don't think that's realistic because if someone found arousal painful not kissing wouldn't stop the arousal would it. Well maybe other people's brain works differently to mine but when I'm with someone just cuddling or watching them doing what ever it is they are getting on with. There would have to be a medical intervention there. In the short term I could handle that with someone I loved. Long term I don't think I could make promises.

    1349049517
    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    lilac_vix wrote:

    morefun wrote:

    Even if it caused him/her pain even to become aroused, meaning that there could be no sexual contact or possibly even passionate snogging may be off limits otherwise it may cause the partner suffering if they became excited?

    I don't think that's realistic because if someone found arousal painful not kissing wouldn't stop the arousal would it. Well maybe other people's brain works differently to mine but when I'm with someone just cuddling or watching them doing what ever it is they are getting on with. There would have to be a medical intervention there. In the short term I could handle that with someone I loved. Long term I don't think I could make promises.

    I guess so but I think it is more than possible to feel horny but needing stimulation to actually get aroused, it seems to be the case for my boyfriend at any rate. Thank you for sharing your opinions, I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm not being a selfish cow but also curious to what others would be willing to accept.

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