• embaressed about using toys

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    luvbug [sign in to see picture]
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    partner of 7 years bought me a jessica rabbit vibrator. i have always felt comfortable around him being naked and being sexual ect ect and we have used toys before mainly pleasure vibes and a cheap crappy vibrator from a nightclub toilet machine, so im kind of a "proper" sex toy virgin, and so is he. im excited about trying it and it does look good to use but i feel embarressed about expressing myself around him. i've never been comfortable with him looking directly at me during sex as i feel embarressed by my "sex face" and moaning ect ect so now we have this brand new rabbit, i think im going to be very embaressed about him using it on me and watching/listening to me enjoy it. he is really keen on using it and so am i, i just dont feel comfortable with him seeing me sexually express myself while using it.

    1346686118
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you thought about using the toy with your underwear still in place? Underpants are very flexible and can make this possible, you can slot the toy in so it stays externally or warm yourself up in the bathroom beforehand and then insert it pulling your underpants back in place.

    This might be a good starting point.

    I would write more, but I'm a little busy, I'm certain others will offer some great tips =)

    1346686426
    Cat Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    Can't help with the partner thing since I don't have one but why not try using it by yourself first, so you can get used to it?

    1346687050
    MrsKitty [sign in to see picture]
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    maybe make him wear a blindfold or you wear it might help the first time it does help me

    1346687458
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    Would your partner be happy for you to get some practice with the toy on your own before he joins in? That way, you can at least become familiar with the new toy and the effect that it has on you before you take on the next hurdle of your partner watching. Please be gentle with him! Having bought you the toy, he's probably looking forward enormously to using it with you, but hopefully he will understand if you explain that it will be a much better experience for both of you if you're able to take a bit of time at first to get used to it by yourself.

    Incidentally, my wife was very self-conscious for many years about her moans during sex and her "O-face". Rather surprisingly, the idea that helped her to address this was when she bravely allowed me to video her! On playback, she realised that her sounds and motions weren't as odd and embarrassing as she had imagined, but were rather appealing and erotic. That's probably quite a big step for you to consider, but hopefully you get the point that your own perception of how you look and sound is probably distorted.

    Hope that helps a bit. Good luck!

    CH

    1346687516
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    Start with using it alone, with him in the house somewhere, watching telly or doing the dishes or whatever. Then once you're comfortable with him hearing you, have him stand outside the closed door. Then have him come inside the room and sit on the bed with you (fully clothed), maybe with a blindfold. Then eventually, once you're totally comfortable, have him take the blindfold off. Obviously this might take a few weeks! But it should make you feel less embarrassed gradually. From your partner's point of view, he should be giving you plenty of compliments and showing you how sexy he finds it, watching you play.

    Me, I LOVE it when my partner watches me play with toys -- the look of sheer desire on his face is so sexy! You really shouldn't feel self-conscious about your sex face or sex noises, it's absolutely the sexiest thing ever seeing your partner's pleasure -- I mean, that's why guys watch porn!

    1346687558
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I would of suggested using it during intercourse first but I see its a rabbit toy so it will probably be a bit awkward lol. what about if you asked him to play with himself at the same time, would that help, to distract you as you watch him, and knowing he is probably going to be moaning and pulling the sex faces too maybe you will feel a little less like your the one on show?

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    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    shellyboo wrote:

    Me, I LOVE it when my partner watches me play with toys -- the look of sheer desire on his face is so sexy! You really shouldn't feel self-conscious about your sex face or sex noises, it's absolutely the sexiest thing ever seeing your partner's pleasure -- I mean, that's why guys watch porn!

    Seconded! If your partner is anything like me, then it's the hottest thing ever!

    1346691820
    luvbug [sign in to see picture]
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    haha thanks guys he is one of them guys who is horny 24/7 and he does often tell me to moan louder from him, but sometimes when im looking at him he will tell me to stop staring at him or even put a pillow over my face so i cant look at him lol and good point fluffbags but he doesnt seem to make much noises throughout sex only heavy breathing and sometimes a little moan when hes "done his deed" lol

    1346694405
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    luvbug wrote:

    haha thanks guys he is one of them guys who is horny 24/7 and he does often tell me to moan louder from him, but sometimes when im looking at him he will tell me to stop staring at him or even put a pillow over my face so i cant look at him lol and good point fluffbags but he doesnt seem to make much noises throughout sex only heavy breathing and sometimes a little moan when hes "done his deed" lol

    Can I ask if you've been together long? My partner used to be the same... very self-conscious about making noise, etc. It's gotten a lot better the longer we've been together, now he's very relaxed and talks during sex and makes noises and stuff. It's fucking HOT.

    1346696439
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    shellyboo wrote:

    My partner used to be the same... very self-conscious about making noise, etc. It's gotten a lot better the longer we've been together, now he's very relaxed and talks during sex and makes noises and stuff. It's fucking HOT.

    Ooops! I need to learn to do that. When I was coaxing my wife into relaxing and making more noise, it didn't occur to me that she'd want me to do the same in return. I still find it difficult -- although I'd say in my defence that this is partly because I'm focussing intently on my wife's own pleasure (I'm almost holding my breath at times). My wife has even had to ask me to fake loud orgasms so that she can hear more from me -- how embarrassing is that?

    1346699648
    luvbug [sign in to see picture]
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    yeah we have been together for 7 years now, he appears to not be the shy type when with friends as he has always had a dirty mind but when it comes to him making noise or me looking at him he gets a bit shy. anyway he came home from work all willing and able to use this new toy and it was amazing especially the rabbit part. wow

    1346700638
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow... so it worked out well, then?

    I'm really pleased to hear that. Our first successful sex toy was a rabbit, too. If it works for you as well as it worked for us, then you'll be doing a lot of moaning (in a good way!).

    1346701270
    luvbug [sign in to see picture]
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    yeah it worked out well, i was a bit intimidated as the head that swirls around doesnt really do it for me, i much prefer his package but the vibrating rabbit part does the job really well, very very easy to orgasm with that.

    1346703092
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes -- it was always the rabbit ears (only) that worked the magic for my wife. Our original rabbit also had rotating beads halfway up the shaft, but my wife hated those -- it would spoil the mood for her if she accidentally switched them on. We later tried another rabbit with a rotating head as you describe, but that didn't appeal to her either. After that, we moved on to clit-only vibrators with great success.

    You could persevere with the rotating head (for example, you might find that it has a better effect when you're strongly turned on), but don't worry if that doesn't work either. It's just that the the different features of various rabbits don't have the same effect on all women. There's nothing wrong with you!

    1346705356
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    Cuddly Hubby wrote:

    shellyboo wrote:

    My partner used to be the same... very self-conscious about making noise, etc. It's gotten a lot better the longer we've been together, now he's very relaxed and talks during sex and makes noises and stuff. It's fucking HOT.

    Ooops! I need to learn to do that. When I was coaxing my wife into relaxing and making more noise, it didn't occur to me that she'd want me to do the same in return. I still find it difficult -- although I'd say in my defence that this is partly because I'm focussing intently on my wife's own pleasure (I'm almost holding my breath at times). My wife has even had to ask me to fake loud orgasms so that she can hear more from me -- how embarrassing is that?

    Aww, bless CH!

    I blame porn to a certain extent... I mean, how many millions of videos are there out there of women moaning and groaning and screaming and talking filth, all while being fucked by a silent male torso? Guys just don't have a reference of how other guys sound during sex. For this, I prescribe a healthy dose of James Deen videos! ;)

    It's the same videos that put pressure on women as well... it leads some guys to think that if we're not thrashing around the place, waking the neighbours that we're not enjoying ourselves, when sometimes that's not the case at all!

    1346712055
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    shellyboo wrote:

    Guys just don't have a reference of how other guys sound during sex. For this, I prescribe a healthy dose of James Deen videos! ;)

    Sorry that it's off-topic for this thread, but please tell more!


    1348840814
    trent [sign in to see picture]
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    dont worry, these worries i have never though of in my case with my OH, well moaning a red face or a strange sex face would be all candy! as long as your fine. Maybe lights off for you for a bit, take charge i love my OH taking charge, if she wants lights off i dont care, i would hate to push my oh to much

    1348841274
    ZombieCpl [sign in to see picture]
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    I am very much the same- I dont feel comfortable when i am being watched. I turn the lights off or dim them considerably which hels me to relax and express myself more

    1348924635
    Jimi Duro [sign in to see picture]
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    nothing to be embarssed about ! relax and enjoy I say !

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