Using your old toys with your new partner

 I know this thread has been done before but I cannot for the life of me find it! So I wanted to ask the question again and see peoples responses.

If you have lots and lots of sex toys that you used in a previous relationship but you dont want to throw them away as they cost lots of money or you like them too much (maybe you have a big collection of luxury vibes) then how do you introduce them into your new relationship without it seeming weird or creepy or dirty?

Would you use them with your new partner or would you chuck them and get some new ones or would you just not tell your new partner that you used them with your ex?

 it depends on a lot of things

some types of sex toy material can absorb fluids so if i didnt know an ex was clean i wouldnt risk introducing them to another person without covering them or checking materials and risks ect,.

i dont think it'd be an issue for me personally - but it depends on the partner.  i'd probably say i had them but wouldnt mention that theyd been used in partner sex - things like my wand are only used on me, so not really an issue. and this is someone having sex with you they have to be comfortable that youve had sex with other people.

 Seem to remember this coming up when i first joined ish.

 I agree Sweetlove, a new partner has to be comfortable but using an intimate toy with them that has been used on a previous partner could be a strange experience for them.

And yes Jezz it did which is why I mentioned that in my thread in the hope that somebody could point me in the right direction.

 only prob would be if guy had a vibe for ex n kept it. most sex toys are female based n she likely owns it... actually vibrating cock rings should prob be thrown

I remember this thread being done too, but have no idea what it was named... The search function really ought to be made better I think!

Anyway.... Um.... It really does depend I suppose.

I have loads of sex toys and I have just split up with a partner. I am keeping all of 'my' toys, ones I bought for me. And that is almost all of them. I always used them solo, so they are 'mine' and not tainted by a partner. But I also have a couple of masturbator sleeves that I bought to use on him, and one of them that hasn't even been used yet, but I have just left them in my old bedside drawer and I suppose he will find them one day and he can do what he likes with them.

I think the general rule for me would be that anything that had actually been used on my previous partner would likely be ditched or left behind. Things like masturbator sleeves or anal tools or other toys that had been 'used'.

Things like vibes and dildos that are mine, are mine. If there are toys that I had used on myself with the previous partner in the bedroom etc then I think I would be fine with that  - unless it was one or two specific toys that we used all the time together, then I would think about it.

Gifts would be different. As I said, I bought my partner at the time a masturbator sleeve that has never even been opened yet, but it doesn't change the fact that I bought it for him. I couldn't take that and use it with another partner in the future. Same if he had bought me any sex toys as gifts. They would always be from him and I doubt I'd feel comfortable keeping that. (Unless it was something superb like a Happy Rabbit! Then I would just have to keep it, probably!!)

That is just my mini-guide. But bondage stuff is a different world indeed! Some bondage stuff can be pretty expensive and I'm not sure what I would do if I had bought loads of bondage stuff and if we had used them together. (I do have a few bondage bits, but my partner was never interested in that.) I'd have no problem with using the bondage stuff I have currently as they were never used by us together, but if we had used them, then I think that some of it might have been a bit too heavily tainted by memories etc to be able to use with someone else again.

As for the stuff you do keep and (re-)use with another partner... well... It really would be down to your intuition on what you tell your new partner about the history of the sex toy collection! Basically, I would not keep anything that I would feel 'weird' about, as it will always feel quite awkward. As long as you have no hang-ups on what you have and what you introduce with a new partner, then your new partner should not feel uncomfortable either. I wouldn't produce a 10inch dildo and say "Ahh, I remember when *insert ex partners name* shagged me sensless with this thing!"

I would simply keep 'my' toys as 'my' toys and anything that I can't comfortably claim to be 'mine' would then be ditched or recycled through the amnesty on here (and get Oh! Points for new toys!)

 If it can be serilizied, I'd use it again. 

All of my toys are mine and if I use them on another person then i'm essentially lending them out. In the same way that my penis being in someone else doesn't stop me using it again, neither would my toys. I think throwing away sex toys because they've been used by your partner is a bit like burning your bedsheets because they've slept in them. If somehow i'd developed some sever emotional baggage around them then possibly i'd throw them away, but I seriously doubt it. 

However, if i'd bought it for them, then they belong to them and I wouldn't be taking them anyway. 

I was thinking about this the other day. I have some buttplugs that have only been used on me not my ex... but the fact that I used them with my ex is a bit weird for me.

I haven't even confessed to my boyfriend that I own them but when and if I do I would understand if he felt uncomfortable using them.

Ohh dear sex toy etiquette!

I always clear them out as soon as I have a new relationship partner. While I'm single, it's not too much of an issue for most of my toys, but I find it disrespectful to use toys across relationships. It wouldn't sit too comfortably with me if a guy were to pull out a pre-used rabbit in the bedroom and it's rather the same as me using a bullet I shared with a partner.

For me, sex toys used during a relationship are monickers of my sex life within that relationship. They have associated memories and those memories should stay firmly in the past, I don't like to introduce them into new pastures...as it were and I think many people would feel uneasy knowing that they've shared a toy with the man/woman you loved before.

Agree very much with Hella! The thing about having toys that hold some memories and some sort of attatchment to another person would feel rather wrong to me.

However, it isn't an issue for me at the moment since I only really ever used my toys solo and not together and so do not have any sort of emotional attatchment to my ex. They are simply mine.

No, no, no, no, never. Nope.

I kept most toys after splitting. after all they were used on me, apart from some toys, cock rings were thrown away. Dont feel a reason why I should throw them away. And I admit that althought the We Vibe Tango was used with partner, I still kept it, cannot afford to throw it away. The only thing I may do is that I will not use it with my new partner, if I have some in the future, which I am not sure about right now. And keep it as single toy. I dont feel strange about it and I dont have throughts about the fact it was used with my ex.

I agree with Hella, it just seems respectful somehow as toys are a pretty intimate thing. The situation hasn't come up for me yet but I would have to throw things away sadly if I had used it with a previous partner. If I had a really amazing/expensive toy though I may be tempted to keep it for alone time only but it would still feel a bit direspectful to me though.

 I asked my OH his feelings because if I was in a new relationship I think i'd bring it up and do whatever theyd be most comfortable with. He said and I quote; "I dont think id really care, i think the first time i use it would be to assert my dominance with it, basically to say this was his job but now its mine and I can do it better. Just to break all the ties :)" 

xx