• Virginity - did/does it matter to you?

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    Zaquiel [sign in to see picture]
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    Mogwai, I envy you. I wish I was able to keep mine intact for as long as you have.

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    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
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    I lost mine when I was 15, I didn't really think it was a big deal. I had only been with my boyfriend for 9 days. We did stay together for 5 years but I didn't know that would be the case obviously!

    If a guy told me he was a virgin now... I would be a little apprehensive. I'd try to be cool about it but I would feel kinda bad for taking his virginity! I'd feel like things would have to be serious!... even if that wasn't the case. x

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    [suspended user]

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    dotdashdot wrote:

    If a guy told me he was a virgin now... I would be a little apprehensive. I'd try to be cool about it but I would feel kinda bad for taking his virginity! I'd feel like things would have to be serious!... even if that wasn't the case. x

    with most guys a fantastic loving sympathetic experience never to be forgotten would be enough I think. Wheras i remember my first time ever my first time with my wife was WOW with big capitals

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    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    mogwai wrote:

    At 35 this is actually ridiculous and depressing, FFS, I should have a coming out virginal party - can we have one of those?

    Good idea! If you hold the party here then you'll enjoy it and it'll feel like a celebration, given how supportive and non-judgemental everyone is.

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    mogwai [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    mogwai. people stigmatise others for many reasons many more reasons for doing it to serial ass holes than virgins in my book but then sex isnt the whole of my world

    Thanks. I think it would have bothered me less if they were more of an asshole generally, but they're actually usually pretty tolerant and supportive, so it felt like a bit of kick when they weren't on this.

    Ah well. Lesson learned.

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    mogwai [sign in to see picture]
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    Zaquiel wrote:

    Mogwai, I envy you. I wish I was able to keep mine intact for as long as you have.

    It doesn't feel like it sometimes, but I suppose it could be enviable, given the alternatives *hugs*

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    Zaquiel [sign in to see picture]
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    mogwai wrote:

    Zaquiel wrote:

    Mogwai, I envy you. I wish I was able to keep mine intact for as long as you have.

    It doesn't feel like it sometimes, but I suppose it could be enviable, given the alternatives *hugs*

    -hugs back- Aye, indeed.

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    oxybeles [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a guy who 'lost it' at 27. As people have said I think there is a lot of pressure on men to lose their virginity as soon as possible, and if they don't, there is something 'wrong' with them.

    I went to an all boys school so my experience of the fairer sex was limited at best (i.e. none!) when I arrived at University, and due to the fact I didn't live at University, I was no closer to getting in on the act by the time I graduated. I was also a very, very late developer and never got into the drinking/clubbing scene at University nor at home. I don't think I made enough of an effort to go out and meet people...

    I met my girlfriend through a female friend. She joked (before anything happened) that our mutual friend had wondered whether I might be a virgin. I told her what an amusing idea I thought that was at 27. I'm not sure why I said that, social stigma I guess, and fear regarding how she'd react. Whether she guessed afterwards I do not know. Perhaps my avid reading of LH put me at an advantage and she is none the wiser?! Probably wishful thinking on my behalf!

    For those of you who are still virgins, it'll happen in due course. I thought it would never happen for me, and then out of the blue it did. I decided at the beginning of the year to make a real effort to get out and meet people. Instead of feeling 27 I now 'feel' I'm twentyish and the clubbing scene is right up my street. For some people, they are married, have a mortgage and a couple of kids at my age! Just because you don't fit in with the perceived 'norm', doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

    Can't believe that is my first post in 2 years of buying from LH and reading this forum...haha!

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    Candied Citrus [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm still a virgin though, at my age, I guess that isn't too unusual. I would say mine does matter to me, having been brought up with the whole, "No sex until marriage" message.

    But, even if that wasn't the mindset I had and I just wanted to get rid of it asap, I - it's not even a case of I don't think I could, I know I wouldn't be able to. ^^; 'Cause I have issues, and stuff. :/

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    flamingdice [sign in to see picture]
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    I waited until I was 22, and my first serious girlfriend, though the fact I was and am rubbish at chatting girls up may not have helped...but I digress. For me I did want it to be special, and we were toether for over 6 years. In all I think I did the right thing, and the stigma of being a virgin is a load of bull in my opinion. Sex is much better with someone you care about... or it has been for me, others may disagree.

    Lose it when your ready, and more importantly, to someone who cares about you!

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    elliex [sign in to see picture]
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    I lost mine at 13, and at the time I didn't care about it at all and slept around a lot (well, a lot for someone that age imo). I kinda regret it now cos there were so many guys after that I wished had been my first instead.

    If a guy told me he was a virgin now though then it wouldn't make any difference to me. I really respect people who choose to wait until they're older and don't care what other people say/think, too many people do it just to get it over with.

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    HappilyExperimenting [sign in to see picture]
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    I wouldn't mind if my partner was a virgin, seeing as I still have my V card it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I think I'd be rather intimidated if someone had a lot of experience actually, but as long as I knew they were going to be understanding and thoughtful I wouldn't mind. I would have to be in a committed, loving relationship for a while before I choose to lose my virginity.

    I really respect men and women who choose to wait until they're older to 'lose it' because some girls are so desperate nowadays to sleep around as much as possible. I also respect male virgins a lot because it is quite easy to just sleep with someone for the sake of it at an early age.

    I see myself as still being a virgin at twenty, twenty five or even thirty as I would rather wait and find the right person than just go out and lose it just to say I have done it. I should join an old maid's club :D

    I do agree with flamingdice though that you should lose your virginity when YOU feel ready and comfortable, and with someone who loves you and cares for you. It is your choice and it doesn't matter if you're thirteen, twenty or fifty, as long as you feel comfortable and it's right for you.

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    jackador123 [sign in to see picture]
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    Still a virgin myself...just not ready for the big leagues. No I kid its one of thse has to be right person etc etc stuff you hear about.

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    ArchersKiss [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm bi, so in my mind I got to loose it twice! :)

    First was with a woman aged 15/16, and then shortly followed by a guy. The scientist in me thought I needed to try both to be sure. Although I have been, with my other half since I was 17, I'm glad I had experiences with others, it made me apreciate him more,...although he wishes I had waited for him: nonsence I said, as I didn't even know him then,... and he certainly didn't wait for me.

    Sex is sex, when done right its fun, messy and exciting. I lost mine, on my terms, and when I wanted too. I felt empowered afterwards,... something that has never left me, and I hope never will..... and I hope that the virgins out there will feel that way too when their time comes.

    xMx

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    ShaftMaster [sign in to see picture]
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    It was a big deal, and I waited for the right person til I was 25. There were other girls I knew I wouldn't have minded losing it to (if only I could have been more confident), but am glad I lost it to someone I care about.

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    Butters,notallsweetandinnocent! [sign in to see picture]
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    Losing my virginity was a big deal to me, i had always wanted to just only ever sleep with one person my whole life, i was waiting for the right person. But I was sort of pretty much forced into my first time, i lacked confidence when it happened and let the guy i lost it to, play mind games and he constantly tried. eventually i just couldnt say no anymore, i know to some people that sounds stupid, but it was like i wasnt in my body, i was standing watching from a sideline, because of how much he brainwashed me. i hated every minute (all 2 lol) i just kept thinking, what the hell am i doing. I really regret not being strong enough to not let it happen. he didnt care about me, i was basically a booty call.

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    Butters,notallsweetandinnocent! wrote:

    Losing my virginity was a big deal to me, i had always wanted to just only ever sleep with one person my whole life, i was waiting for the right person. But I was sort of pretty much forced into my first time, i lacked confidence when it happened and let the guy i lost it to, play mind games and he constantly tried. eventually i just couldnt say no anymore, i know to some people that sounds stupid, but it was like i wasnt in my body, i was standing watching from a sideline, because of how much he brainwashed me. i hated every minute (all 2 lol) i just kept thinking, what the hell am i doing. I really regret not being strong enough to not let it happen. he didnt care about me, i was basically a booty call.

    thats so sad...I went to school with a girl called butters.......man alive she was hot lol

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    MrPea [sign in to see picture]
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    I hide fact that I am still a virgin to all my friends as I'm a 23 year old guy! It's not really worth the ribbing I would get for it! For me it's not really that I am saving it for someone special more that my past 3 long term relationships were all with women who wanted to wait till marriage so never ended up losing it yet!

    I'm half tempted to go out and lose it on a 1 night stand but at the same time I feel nervous about being crap in bed lol! Maybe one day it will happen!

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    ksw1980 [sign in to see picture]
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    It didn't really matter to me. Might be a lot different for bloke though, so I can speak for women, but I never saw it a s a big deal who I lost it to, more that I lost it! I don't regret first having sex with someone I didn't love (it was an older woman who knew I was a virgin for NSA fun) because I can seperate in my head 'love making' and 'sex' but there's nothing wrong in waiting if that's what others want to do as was the case with an ex, who was right to wait because I was not right for her and vice versa!

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    xrd_man [sign in to see picture]
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    Me and my wife lost ours together and it has helped our relationship to seem perfect. I know everybody is different and for some people this wouldn't be the way, but for me it was important. I wanted to leave it as something I would only share with my soul mate

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