• Virginity - did/does it matter to you?

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    mogwai [sign in to see picture]
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    This came up as a result of reading something that really kind of bugged me, but I couldn't raise it at the time, so I thought I'd run a quick poll and see what the response was somewhere people aren't going to blush or get offended by sex talk

    Was losing your virginity a big deal? Did you wait for a special someone or want rid of it as soon as you could?

    In some quarters there's a stigma attached to still being a virgin almost as soon as you're beyond legal age, in others it's considered de rigeur until marriage - what do you think?

    I know there's a deflowering kink, but how would you react if your partner revealed they were still a virgin?

    For the purposes of this - virgin does not necessarily equal naive/innocent.

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    WeeSteve [sign in to see picture]
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    I am still a virgin and i dont wana just throw it away. I want to wait till i meet the right person :)

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    fistinglover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    mine wasnt at all. i hid the fact that i was a virgin! just wanted to get rid of it and hurry up and get used to it so could have good sex. didnt happen until like 2 years later though!

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    PinkPolkaDot [sign in to see picture]
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    I lost mine at 16 and I really really regret it as the guy was a dick. I wish I waited for the right person, but there's nothing I can do about that now :)

    I wouldn't mind being with someone who's a virgin, it doesn't define them and I think I'd enjoy experiencing everything with them as I'm not exactly a sexpert

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    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    I was a virgin till the tender age of 21 (almost 22) and my partner who's quite experienced in that field was pleasantly surprised by that revelation. It was odd, I felt a bit out of place for "admitting" I was one for so long. I don't regret it at all though as I was always waiting for someone special.

    It was interesting discussing with him though. We just have different opinions in how we view sex. I attach love, intimacy and emotion to it whereas he just likes it in a physical sense as well as those things.

    It was a big deal to me but I'm glad it was. 3 years on and I am still with my partner and view him as my soul mate. I'd never regret it. =)

    I wouldn't mind if my partner was a virgin but I can foresee a lot of bumbling going on lol, oh well, we have porn and natural instinct for guidance right? ;P

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    Cat Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    Still got it at 29 and I do feel a bit like there's something "wrong" with me. I'm quite young for my age in terms of behaviour, mental state, appearance and definitely experience. Having said that, I'd only want to give it to someone I cared for. I'm certainly not going to go to a bar and start hitting on random guys or anything. I wouldn't have wanted to be one of those people who lost it at a really young age though.

    I have to admit if the time ever comes I'd want the guy to have at least a little experience because I do think if the partners aren't in their teens at least one of them should know what they're doing!

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    chels18 [sign in to see picture]
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    It only mattered while I had it - when it was gone I realised it wasn't such a big deal after all!!

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    QueenC [sign in to see picture]
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    I was 15 when I lost mine, and my boyfriend was 17. He'd wanted to for a while and was also a virgin, and he said he would obviously wait until I was ready. At the time it mattered, because we were both young and because it was both of our first times, it made it more special for both of us.

    I'm still with him now (which makes me feel old!) but if I was single, I wouldn't be put off by a virgin. as PPD said, I'd enjoy the journey with them.

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    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    Dictionary definition - it wasn't a choice and was at a very young age.

    I had planned to wait til marriage but I have ended up choosing to have sex since. Whilst I don't regret it as such because I'm still not married and would have missed out on alot of things, I still wish in a way I had stuck to my original values. I wouldn't care if a future partner was a virgin, I would probably have a lot of respect for that, but I feel thats highly unlikely to happen now unless I go for a toyboy lol.

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    WeeSteve [sign in to see picture]
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    Cat Lady wrote:

    Still got it at 29 and I do feel a bit like there's something "wrong" with me.

    see i think its diffrent for guys.

    The majority of guys, or atleast the stigma is that guys want to get rid of it asap and have no emotional connection to sex. so for me i do feel like theres somthng wrong with me for still being a virgin

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    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    i wasnt that fussed either way. i didnt tell the guy thati was abd he didnt realise. for me sex is a physical activity and its more important to be emothinally ready that physically.

    i was fine with it mentally abd old enough to cope - 19 at the time and i still dont think it was a big deal. i wasbt deserate to loose it or keep it, its just a social status thats arbitrary and meaningless

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    morefun [sign in to see picture]
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    WeeSteve wrote:

    Cat Lady wrote:

    Still got it at 29 and I do feel a bit like there's something "wrong" with me.

    see i think its diffrent for guys.

    The majority of guys, or atleast the stigma is that guys want to get rid of it asap and have no emotional connection to sex. so for me i do feel like theres somthng wrong with me for still being a virgin

    Stick to what you believe in. There is nothing wrong with either of you, your individual. I wish I had.

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    Cat Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    WeeSteve wrote:

    Cat Lady wrote:

    Still got it at 29 and I do feel a bit like there's something "wrong" with me.

    see i think its diffrent for guys.

    The majority of guys, or atleast the stigma is that guys want to get rid of it asap and have no emotional connection to sex. so for me i do feel like theres somthng wrong with me for still being a virgin

    Hmm I guess that's true. I was quite happy in my state of innocence until I was 20 or so but I've never learned how to deal with guys, and one kinda leads to the other. And as I said above, no matter how much I want to experience "real" sex as opposed to experimenting with toys, I want it to be in the right circumstances. I suppose I do have the emotional connection!

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    Cat Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    morefun wrote:

    WeeSteve wrote:

    Cat Lady wrote:

    Still got it at 29 and I do feel a bit like there's something "wrong" with me.

    see i think its diffrent for guys.

    The majority of guys, or atleast the stigma is that guys want to get rid of it asap and have no emotional connection to sex. so for me i do feel like theres somthng wrong with me for still being a virgin

    Stick to what you believe in. There is nothing wrong with either of you, your individual. I wish I had.

    Thanks :-)

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    cheer_up [sign in to see picture]
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    I was 17, and it was actually perfect. He knew I was a virgin, and everything was totally on my terms, and he made it amazing. I attached no significance to my virginity until afterwards, when I realised what an emotional thing sex is for me. It was only then that I realised how lucky I'd been; if I'd gone with someone who didn't care as much as he did, I would have been devastated I think.

    Hurt like hell though.

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    luckylesbo [sign in to see picture]
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    I kinda did both depending on what way you think a lesbian loses her virginity...... the first time i fucked someone was in the toilets of a straight club, first time i was fucked was with my first serious girlfriend who i loved. Either way i was 18 for both. I had the opportunity to be with men from the age of 13 up but i always knew i was gay and always knew i wanted to lose my virginity to someone special.

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    littlekit [sign in to see picture]
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    I lost it to someone I wasn't particularly enamoured with, however with some luck it was a pretty good experience for a first time. I was 18, and a bit later than my friends but that was because I really didn't like the guys in my area. That time wasn't a big deal, but my first time with a girl was, probably because I realised I'd finally figured myself out.

    I think it's a huge shame there is a stigma attached to it, because sex is awesome and although the first time is not usually particularly sastisfying (unless you believe 50 shades) or makes too much sense. But I think it should be at least with someone who cares about you.

    It wouldn't particularly both me if I was with a virgin, I would hope they would tell me though just so I could go easy!

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    carlingdarling [sign in to see picture]
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    I was about 15/16 when i lost my cherry, although friends say it's supposed to be a 'special experience' truth is i can't remember as i was on a girlie holiday in spain and was bladdered the only thing i can vaguely remember is it was big,hard and hurt a bit and the pool was freezing...............................but no regrets it was a fab holiday!

    i don't think i am the first to lose it this way

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    sub-kitten [sign in to see picture]
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    When I was a virgin, it felt like a massive deal. When you're in high school all anyone seems to be in interested in is who's having sex & who isn't. All my friends lost theirs before me & whilst I always said I wanted to wait for someone special, it did kinda get to me.

    I lost my virginity when I was 16 & though he wasn't exactly 'someone special' he was the perfect gentleman. The memories are positive which is something I can be very thankful for & something I know not every girl is lucky enough to have. I don't regret it but part of me does still wish I'd waiting for someone special. But we can't dwell on regrets.

    As for older virgins, well I actually admire people who are still virgins. It is so easy just to screw the first person you see & throw your virginity away but to have held out is really commendable. I would never judge someone negatively for being a virgin & think people who do are ridiculous. My longest relationship was with a virgin & while I must admit I was a bit surprised when he told me, it didn't make me think any differently about him.

    Saying all that though, Wee Steve is right there is a bit of double standard regarding male virgins in the general concensus. This makes me sad as guys should not feel that just coz they haven't had sex yet that they're any less of a man. I for one would rather be with a virgin that someone who's put it about with everyone & has over 100 notches on his metaphorical bedpost.

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    randubugger [sign in to see picture]
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    List mine early wasn't all that but made up since

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