• out of sync sex drives

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    tiggerish [sign in to see picture]
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    atm, our sex drives are out of kilter, and ive been talking to a friend who has a massive sex drive (much higher than has wifes)for advice and to help me deal with how things are in the bedroom just now...

    so its got me thinking...

    can relationships with mismatched drives work? i know my situation is (hopefully!!) not permanant, but for those where the drives just dont match at all, though they might love each other deeply, how does it work longer term?

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    If the relationship works then the miss match wouldnt be an issue. I would suggest that could be a definition of a relatioship working.

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    Spocket [sign in to see picture]
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    I know that feeling although my OH is coming round ! Always felt my sex drive was far superior but what else can you do ?

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    tiggerish [sign in to see picture]
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    just to be clear, am not seeking to examine my current predicament ( i know the reasons behind it). am talking in general, non specific to me

    for me, i consider sex a very important aspect of a relationship as it strenghens the pyhsical connection between partners and builds intimacy, though i know people who have very little sex and are content with that.. everyones different.

    the convo i had just made me curious though, as solo sex is not always enough for people.

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    tiggerish, there are many ways to build intimacy and affection within a relationship of which sex is one. I suppose a big factor is the reason for not having sex. With us its because I work away not because either doesnt want to. I think it would be much different if my OH said once every 3 months is enouggh for me.

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    tiggerish [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    tiggerish, there are many ways to build intimacy and affection within a relationship of which sex is one. I suppose a big factor is the reason for not having sex. With us its because I work away not because either doesnt want to. I think it would be much different if my OH said once every 3 months is enouggh for me.

    completely agree there are many ways.

    the sex life i had with my ex was horrendous in many ways, and i am not suggesting for a minute that should i find myself in the position that sex was near-permanantly off the menu with my fiance that id walk away, but ive learnt ( the hard way) how much i personally value a good sex life.

    and again, i agree the reason plays a big part. with my partner atm hes on deadline at work and is exhausted as he has a massive commute, so i know its not long term, though its still difficult.

    once every 3 months on a long term basis-in that situation, id be lying if i said it wouldnt worry me, but i love my man and would try my hardest to make it work if it was honestly enough for him. ultimately though id be dishonest if i said i think id cope ok with that!i was fine when due to exhaustion of having a baby not sleeping through the night we didnt have sex for about 2 months, but on a permanant long gap.. i think that would give both us serious musings

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    Longest we were apart was 5 months...that was a nightmare

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    tiggerish [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    Longest we were apart was 5 months...that was a nightmare

    flipping eck, i bet!

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    tiggerish wrote:

    gunther wrote:

    Longest we were apart was 5 months...that was a nightmare

    flipping eck, i bet!

    I stretched my contract so instead of coming home after 3 months in November I came home after 5 months at Christmas, Mrs G asked me to marry her so was all good.

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    tiggerish [sign in to see picture]
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    awww :)

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    and cor blimey mate that was 27 yrs ago.........feeling old now

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    tiggerish [sign in to see picture]
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    but 27 years of her............

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    weve been together 30 yrs .......jeez this just gets worse lol

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