Desensetizing creams for anal .....

Wanting to try anal sex i have bought a small cock  butt plug to spread me a touch but im still botherd about sex with a real cock ...i have heard that these creams are ideal and relax the anus ready for insersion...do you have to put the cream inside the anus entrance ...and also how long dose it last 15mins or around an hour ...cheers

Hi, there,

The creams work for around 20 minutes, I think (never tried timing it though!) - it feels a bit like when you have anaesthetic at the dentist: sort of attached but disjointed, if that makes sense.

You just take a little blob and rub it round your anus and rim - be careful not to get it on your pussy as well, though, and don't rub it onto your partner's cock: it's very weird and desensitising, plus the last thing you want is for him not to be able to feel what he's doing!  I prefer Anal-Eze - it seems quite expensive, but don't be put off: a little goes a long way, and though they tell you to use a great gob of it, don't - you won't be able to feel the wonderful sensations if you do, and what a waste that would be.

Also try getting a specific anal lube - these tend to last much longer than other lubes, and some also contain some sort of microbe-killing thingy, which is handy if you're at all worried about that.  (No, you can't taste it!)  Using something especially geared at anal sex means it's likely to stay smoother for longer than a regular lube, as well as to be thick enough to stay in place rather than sliding off all over the place.  And lube is *really* important - don't just rely on the anal desensitiser to do it for you, as there's a risk you could get a tear but not feel it until after the cream wears off.

Even a desensitiser is no substitute for loads of lube, loads of foreplay and loads of preparation - if you're doing it right, it won't hurt: but the cream will at least help you keep relaxed.

Enjoy yourself!

Cheers there englishrose for the advise ill try to keep it off my fanny if i had one ....im just wanting to try anal sex  for the experience but i want to find out everything i can to make it as comfortable as poss....if i keep my butt blug in an hour or two a day maybe it will make it easier....

I'm going to be a wee bit awkward here but feel I should put it out - many people warn against desensitising for anal because you can do yourself harm because you ca't feel pain which is your body's way of telling you what's wrong.  Just another view that you may want to consider.   I don't do enough anal to be an expert but have heard this expressed by the real experts on here many times before.  Either way hope you have fun!

'Fraid I'm going with imelda on this one.  Anal is a serious buisiness, you need to be in complete control & know if something hurts.  Mrs Duck is very acustom to anal (twice a month on average) but occasionally she feels pain or it is sore, it hurts for a reason, listen to your booty & STOP!

If you want to be relaxed, have a nice warm bath, a sensual massage, aromatherapy & even a nice glass of bubbly to make it all the more romantic.  I would seriously advise caution on the numbing creams, especially on the first couple of attempts.Theres loads of threads with advice for anal begginers, have a mooch about & you should find all you need to know!

I personally think, the feeling of relief you get after the sharp pain of anal is such a nice feeling and also a bit of pain is part of the charm of anal!

Also, if you work your way up to the cock and take ur time and communicate well, you should'nt really feel too much pain!

Good luck with whatever u choose though. x

 I agree with the advice recommending against the numbing creams.  Pain is your body's voice alerting you to danger.  I think it can be quite risky to muffle that voice.  If an activity hurts so much that intervention is required in the form of desensitising creams, then I would say that the activity is too risky to continue.

Also, for your information, those numbing creams have no effect whatsoever on the musculature of the anus.  Relaxation of the anal sphincter is unrelated to use of numbing creams.  The only thing those creams do is anaesthetise the area so that you cannot feel what damage you are doing until they wear off and it is too late.

I really recommend proceeding slowly and carefully with anal play.  Go at your own pace, there is no rush and it's not a contest.  Take your time and enjoy your progress naturally.  Numbing creams can hinder all of that.  Besides, anaesthetic can hardly improve your pleasure if it reduces your sensation!

I'd say, start with your own fingers in the shower or bath where you are warm and relaxed, and use tons of lubricant.  With anal play, there is no such thing as too much lubricant.  With your fingers, you have the added bonus of being able to feel what you're doing from both ends, so you know just how firm you like it, and where.

Please let us know how you get on?  And good luck!  :)

 Oh, also, I recommend against anti-microbial or anti-bacterial substances.  The environment in the anus and rectum is a delicate balance, and messing with that can lead to problems.

Sorry to be such a party pooper!  I just want to make sure you have as much fun as possible whilst staying safe.

Hi Lubyanka. Today i received LoveHoney small penis butt plug  ....so i had a bath to relax went upstairs got out the  KY got plenty of lube on and started with one then two fingers then i went for the plug ..i managed to insert it  it hurt like mad then it sucked itself all the way inside ..it felt comfy inside and i got rather hard with it inside so i then decide to remove it  and that was also painful is this normal during insertions the pain i mean ...i take it  that it will get better...boy did that make me sweat god knows what a cock feels like in there..

My fella loves anal!  I know that Lubyanka gave some ace advice.  Personally, If it hurt then i would use your fingers for a while longer.  I used 2 fingers on him for a while until he got used to it.  Stretchy, but with the fingers you are in control. 

Think we have been playing anally for about, erm, a couple of month or so, before i introduced toys.  Got my little blue friend  http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11595  And that worked wonders.  He really gets excited about it.

I then used my own toys which are a little bit bigger.  He also bought a plug with a vibe in it.,....he likes the vibrations!  We have progressed onto strap ons now but he is still apprehensive at using the bigger 7" dildo that came with it.....

Have you tried beads?  He swears by them.....

I will ask him to post a message for you........

JJxx

HLD,  If you are oing to engage in anal play  I would seriously advise in ditching the KY for a specific anal lube.  Anal lubes are heavier & last longer.  KY isn't up to the job, an job in my opinion. 

Sliquid Sassy booty formula is very good & is what we have found to be the best.  There are tons of bum lubes to choose from on this site.  If you don't enjoy anal purely beacause of the lube wasn't up to the job you could be put off for good.  For the sake of a tenner it is well worth it!

Horny little Devil wrote:

Cheers there englishrose for the advise ill try to keep it off my fanny if i had one ....im just wanting to try anal sex  for the experience but i want to find out everything i can to make it as comfortable as poss....if i keep my butt blug in an hour or two a day maybe it will make it easier....

I'm so sorry - I didn't check your profile before posting and have just shown everyone what a sexist pig I am...  Sorry :-(

You can't do better than loads of preparation - it's not just about wearing your butt plug, though that will help: on the night, you have to go slow and make sure your partner takes the time and trouble to get your properly ready.  Somewhere in a different thread, Mucky's given a brilliant description of how to go about it - do a search and read what he has to say, as it's fab advice.  And like a lot of the others have said - approach desensitising creme with caution: it's not a substitute for lube or patience.

Enjoy yourself!  (and sorry again - cringe...)

oh, and I forgot - I'm having trouble pasting links (damn elderly computer that can't do more than one thing at a time) but there is a brilliant vibrating butt plug that's blue and about a tenner on LH.  It's small and easy to insert, so it won't stretch you, but the vibrations really help in relaxing your sphincter muscles in readiness for a cock (or a bigger plug).  I've been meaning to review it for ages - it's great as well as cheap, and apart from the wonderful sensations, it really does help you relax everything, and it's small so it doesn't need a lot of preparation to use, unlike some of the larger (but equally delicious!) vibrating butt plugs.

Dont swet it Rose  we all arnt telepaths ..thanks for all your much needed advice and the other members in the forum i am new here since last Nov  and i think its great we dont have to be perfect just know what people need to know......DLD

Position is everything for Anal sex. The contracting muscles almost work in opposite to the vaginal, so a position you're used to in standard intercourse could have the opposite effect in anal. For example, lowering yourself onto the man as in cowgirl position actually makes the anus a lot tighter, even if you're the one in control.

The best starting position for anal is man behind woman, perhaps standing or kneeling with the woman bending down. This helps open up the anus and allows for easier penetration.

As mentioned already, find the right lube to use, and use generously.

And don't rush into it or feel under pressure. Both parties should be relaxed and consenting.

Sorry, I meant to say that doggy-style is for more advanced anal, not beginning. Please ignore that. If the man kneels behind the woman, with his legs either side of her legs, and the woman closes her legs together, it is that that helps loosen the anus.

Good gentle positions to start with include side-by-side spooning, and missionary with the woman's knees in the air but legs still either side of the man's body.

Side by side allows the woman to relax and the men can play with her clit. You're more likely to enjoy anal if kept near orgasm.

Missionary with the knees in the air allows the woman to relax her anus making penetration much easier.

Beforehand try toys or fingers, and if it hurts - stop.