• no nookie till

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    robin [sign in to see picture]
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    I've lost at least a stone my GF said yesterday. She's not happy about her figure to the extent that that she's not comfortable having sex getting turned on. I adore what ever size she is. Wish I could get her get rid of her hang ups....any suggestions?

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    luckylesbo [sign in to see picture]
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    It is hard to make a woman feel sexy when weight is on her mind, being supportive is the best thing you can do. Be there for her, tell her how beautiful she is, pamper her. Either the sex drive will take over, she will forget about the sex ban or she will lose the weight and gain the confidence. Just be the best OH you can be, as i am sure you always are.

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh that's so sad :( I don't think there's anything you can do to fix that, but being supportive of her whatever she decides will help. Keep complimenting her, and be specific! Pick out bits of her body that you find gorgeous and tell her. Ultimately, only she can resolve her body issues, but it's great that you love her no matter what.

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    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    give her lots of attention and make her laugh, why not do it with the lights out

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    TTurtle [sign in to see picture]
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    How about supporting her by doing the same thing? Diet and exercise (join a gym?) and it will encourage her to do so as well..you may be already nice and trim and in shape obviously and I don't know, in which case if you do already work out etc. include her in it too. Don't look upon it like you're agreeing with her that she needs to lose weight..no..look upon it that you'll be challenging each other and setting each other goals..a huge motivation to lose weight is having someone else do it with you then you'll both feel good about yourselves

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    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
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    TTurtle wrote:

    How about supporting her by doing the same thing? Diet and exercise (join a gym?) and it will encourage her to do so as well..you may be already nice and trim and in shape obviously and I don't know, in which case if you do already work out etc. include her in it too. Don't look upon it like you're agreeing with her that she needs to lose weight..no..look upon it that you'll be challenging each other and setting each other goals..a huge motivation to lose weight is having someone else do it with you then you'll both feel good about yourselves

    ^^ this

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    Can I just say, you don't need to lose weight to feel good about yourself. It's much more productive (from a self-esteem point of view) to learn to accept your body as precious and beautiful no matter what -- but I understand this can be hard for many people, especially with the thousands of messages we get about fat being ugly and bad. Hinging your self-esteem on your weight is a surefire way to have crappy self-esteem, since it's been proven over and over again that 95% of intentional weight loss fails.

    HOWEVER, that said, if people want to diet and lose weight that's their decision. I just hate to see people believe "I'll like myself better when I weigh X amount less", when that might turn out to be entirely untrue.

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    TTurtle [sign in to see picture]
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    shellyboo wrote:

    Can I just say, you don't need to lose weight to feel good about yourself. It's much more productive (from a self-esteem point of view) to learn to accept your body as precious and beautiful no matter what

    I agree with this shelly absolutely, I will say many people at work have done sensible dieting and exercise and every single one has said 'I feel great' - not necessarily from a self esteem point of view but just in general..more energy, more motivation, physical wellbeing etc. and of course self esteem also comes into it.

    My point is, everyone is different and you should accept yourself no matter what you look like I totally agree..but if you're sitting around all day every day consuming 4,000 calories, it doesn't matter what somatotype you are, you're going to become overweight (note, I'm not saying OP's wife is doing this at all!! I'm just saying an example).

    As I said above Robin, maybe you should just both eat conscientiously and include excercise in your lifestyle, it will increase dopamine production in the brain, give you both a great sense of wellbeing and as a by-product you'll both shed the pounds :)

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    robin [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks for the contributions. rejoining the gym is on the cards this weekend for both of us....

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    robin [sign in to see picture]
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    I needed to have worried. last night there was no stopping her! but thanks every one.

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