how to seduce my boyfriend?

 i know this is going to sound either ridiculous or made up, but believe me its not.

i'm 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, at the start of the relationship he was like every other guy in my previous relationships 'oh you have a high sex drive? bet you wont be able to keep up with me' and yes as the start of every relationship goes, we had lots of sex, then it started dwindling, eventually after a year, and a baby later it got to the point where i was crying about us not having sex, because i felt used whenever he wanted it because i felt it wasnt me that was doing it for him, then i discovered he was watching porn and masturbating in the shower every day while i hadnt even had a passionate kiss or a compliment for over three weeks, which made me extremely angry. i have nothing against porn, i partake in watching it myself a lot to help get off, but when my boyfriend who complains about me harassing him, and making sex feel like a chore is watching getting off on his own without even paying me any attention or just masturbating me then i get pissed off

we have spoken about it a LOT and i have tried everything he has suggested, be coy, be slutty, be hard to get, play the innocent, play the dom, and taken advice from all my friends, and fuck all seems to work, they have even suggested me cheating on him just to get my end off and boost my confidence which i will never be willing to do.

i feel like a freak, have searched online many a times on how to dress for him, dance for him, flirt with him, used plenty of my old tricks and some of my new tricks, some of my out there tricks, even let him have anal which i really dont enjoy just so that i could have him touch me

i am not a nymphomaniac or sex addict, like everyone suggests although i did believe it and tried to find doctors help for some drugs to lower my sex drive but no, i enjoy it too much and love it with him.

recently he again said, that i should just leave him alone and he'll come to me when he wants it, which seems a bit unfair seeing as ive only to be there for him! am i being unreasonable??? he asked me to seduce him and that he likes subtlty after trying everything in he past i have tried to be subtle, but being subtle to him is impossible, he just thinks i want to cuddle

ive tried texting him dirty text messages, ive tried playing with my vibrators and screaming loudly so he'd hear it and nothing! ive even walked around the house after a shower completely naked dripping wet(from the shower) and bent over, which i felt uncomfortable with making myself so vulnerable and NOTHING

so guys and girls, i'm asking you to give me something new to try, despite it seeming like ive tried it all

how to seduce my boyfriend?

He sounds horribly selfish :(

 Similar situation with myself. Dwindled off. I want sex more than he does. Ive done similar things, i.e stood naked in front on him, dressed for him, suggested we watch porn together, suggested we try a 3some .. anything to get our sex life back on track. Hes admitted once a month is fine for him. 

We plan on talking about it tomorrow as hes been on night shifts. 

I dont think there is an answer other to to seriously talk about it and find a solution if you can. I will add you as a friend and if you want to discuss just accept me. 

x

 im having a simular situation myself :( 

its tricky, i think we go 3 months ish som ethimes without having sex as he ''doesnt feel the need''

Ladies is it possible you scare your OHs.  Trying to satisfy someone who comes across as insatiable could get quite intimidating, just a thought.

 Having a baby does really change things. It took us around two years to back to (almost) like it was before.

gunther wrote:

Ladies is it possible you scare your OHs.  Trying to satisfy someone who comes across as insatiable could get quite intimidating, just a thought.

Scare? you know nothing gunther.. i hardly intimidate him lol - he doesnt see me as a sexual being gunther so I hardly scare him

just a thought...sorry didnt mean to offend maybe he doesnt see himself as a sexual being

This might sound like an obvious question but have you tried talking to him about how all this makes you feel? Maybe he feels pressure to perform and doesn't understand that you love him and are turned on by him and want him ...not just sex for the sake of it. It might just be that life got it the way. I do know that some men find intamacey with a woman they feel close to and have feelings for very scary and porn and masturbation are a completely separate thing to them as they can empty their balls in a boiological way and there is no contact. Not that all men regard it that way (don'y want to upset any one )

I know the feeling of being ignored or pushed away and it makes you feel unwanted, unattractive, and insignifacant . If talking and explaining your feelings ( and I know that's difficult...I'm rubbish at expressing my feelings when it actually matters!!) doesn't help and he is not willing to try and help you feel better and meet your needs then quite simply he is not the man for you. 

You coud try writing him a letter.....or cooking his favorite meal....giving him a relaxing massage....taking him away for the weekend....wearing something he has said he likes you in....all of which would hopefully relax him, let you make him feel special without being too obvious or demanding...and he would then give you what you want ;)  If he doesn't get a new one!! Good Luck xx

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to side with the boyfriend here. You make it sound as though you're pouncing on him every night & he's clearly struggling with the expectation of having to perform whenever you're in the mood.

Like Sexyboots, I'd suggest trying to make him feel special - a nice meal, watching a favourite film, etc. etc. However, once you've done that how about just cuddling for a bit - intimacy without the expectation of anything else.

Could it be that he's concerned that you only see him as a f*cking machine?

As a dad myself, I know I don't feel like the sexiest thing on the planet after spending a day cleaning up poo, watching 'In the Night Garden' and reading nursery rhymes. Added to that, it might just be that he's shattered - is baby sleeping much?

My big worry as a dad is that I sleep like an absolute stone after I cum - the world could end & I'd be completely oblivious. Could your OH be worried about something happening to baby in the night & not hearing?

 Maybe you should just do what you are doing subtly to get a cuddle and be happy with a cuddle and that kind of intimacy for a whicle. It kinda sounds to me like everytime to just try to be intimate he is taking that as you wanting sex so he feels pressured. You need to get back to a place where he feels he can ahve close intimate contact with you without it leading to a)sex or b) arguements about sex. Once you have that intimacy back then hopfully his sex drive will naturally return.

I would suggest you maybe talk to him about having a sex free time- maybe 2 months. Start with just quality time for a week, then a couple of weeks of kissing/cuddling, then maybe gradually agree this week you can grope over clothes but not sex, this week you can use hands and mouth to get each other off but still no sex. Watch each other masturbate, get in the shower with him and wank him off.

You will just have to be really strict with yourself. Don't give in to temptation to jump on his cock everytime he gets aroused. After sometime doing this I would think he will start asking you for it. The thing is it just won't happen over night. It may also be worth suggesting he speaks to his GP or a pschosexual counsellor at your local GUM clinic if theres been no improvement in 3 months or so. 

Good Luck xxxx

maybe thats what this was all about

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/520115-tantra-kerezza-and-non-climax-intercourse/

gunther wrote:

maybe thats what this was all about

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/520115-tantra-kerezza-and-non-climax-intercourse/

I believe that would help alot of couples gunther :-)

I'm in the same situation at the moment and have been for a year or more. He watches porn all the time and cannot understand why I'm upset that he won't come anywhere near me. I've made so much effort (not pouncing on him every single night like has been suggested by other users) and I've always from day one of our relationship  done everything I can to make him feel special  but nothing I did made any difference so then I backed off completely. Now we never have sex at all, we don't kiss, don't cuddle, most of the time I have to kick up a fuss to get him to spend any time at all with me. Talking calmly acheives nothing at all.

We had similar issues going the other way, Its difficult for a wife to cope with a horny husband comin home after a month away when shes been dealing with a fractious child alone. When I sensed it I simply said "you can say no, you know!" For a while we agreed that she would make the first move but only when she felt like it.

 First thing I would say is don't get up in his grill for tossing off without you for the most part guy's tend to just wank out of habbit. As for the sex really it could be countless things but from what I have read it could simply be he just doesn't want sex. (with anyone not just you)

The problem if you keep pestering him is he will probably just get annoyed and that only leads to bad things on boht sides! Trying to seduce him may work but when he just isn't in the mood then it probably won't bother him. You may have to accept not everyone has the same sex drive and over itme they can change.

If it's a case of you only have it when he comes to you it may seem horrible for you but it souds like he genuinely doesn't want sex that much, keep in mind there is a major difference between wanking and sex though. In my oppinion it's a case of difference in sex drives which really means accepting it many people have different drives and as I said they can change with time.

thefrenchfancy wrote:

 after trying everything in he past i have tried to be subtle, but being subtle to him is impossible, he just thinks i want to cuddle

 ive tried playing with my vibrators and screaming loudly so he'd hear it and nothing! ive even walked around the house after a shower completely naked dripping wet(from the shower) and bent over,

why not just have a cuddle?

If the guy does have issues a bisexual partner(as on your profile) screaming loudly from upstairs using her toys wont do much for his esteem. Maybe he thinks you have a better time with the toys than he could give you.

If he has erection probs most can be sorted by a visit to the doc i believe.

good luck anyway

 Hey,

Welcome to the club 

I have similar problems, but I found out that we have more problems than that. We are actually quite close - the needy and no-boundaries kind of close. It looks like a perfect cuddly relationship, but it is not healthy. I am working on it and, although I cannot report any clear improvements in our sex life yet, I found improvements in my life and in our relationship.

The most important thing is to do things for myself. I am dressing up for myself, I am getting sexy red toenails for myself, I am going out and meeting people on my own, I am masturbating for myself and enjoy my body, feeling sexier by the minute. I am stopping doing favours for him which he had not asked for. Thus, I want to do what I like in bed, only because I want it and it brings me pleasure. I am definitely finished with being his clown.

As he is on a business trip right now, I need to report later on. Maybe this helps you anyway 

 I think there is definately a myth that men are horny 24/7, I have talked to my oh about similar issues and he said being stressed in other areas of life can affect a mans sex drive because they can't relax and focus and this builds more stress because they actually do want their partners to be happy. Also some women are intimadating and that can be off putting. They alos find it difficult to talk about as it makes them feel less masculine.....and a wank is just a wank...if they need one they do...doesn't mean anything, apparently women over analyse and think too much! LOL 

you need to sit him down and tell him this is a major problem in your relationship and that youre not at all happy. it sounds to me that youre trying to adjust and change yourself and yet hes not doing anything at all to help the situation

i dont think you need to back off because youve tried that and it just hasnt worked. dyou get any affection at all?