• Advancing to kinky sex in a relationship(tips?)

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    young22 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 1 Jun 2011

    Hi,

    I've been reading these boards for a bit, anyway I'm a male in my twenties and have been in a loving relationship for almost 3 years now.

    I love her to bits and we have a very happy life, including a great sex life. The one thing I would like to see more of however is a bit more 'kinkier' sex life. When she's really horny, drunk, or both she talks about fantasies like having a 3some, anal play etc. but actually advancing to it is another story. We have had some really wild sex, mild bondage, used anal toys on both of us, some fantasy dress up and we have always both really enjoyed ourselves and she usually comes out of the experience talking about the best sex in a long time and so forth.

    However most sessions involve a little oral, spooning/missionary/doggy which is all good and well, but the kinky sessions usually are 1-2 months apart and the really wild stuff which she talks about really wanting to do doesn't appear likely to happen.

    I would never want her to do anything she's umcortable with, and forcing things like this is never a good idea, however since I know she always likes it when we take it a step further and talks about wanting to do more I feel like I should look for some clues to get her to be more open. She was a little shy to begin with, and it took me months to convince me to go down on her for the first time which she can barely live without today.

    I just got back home from a trip which involved going to a sex store whilst really drunk and buying a few items which involves some of the fantasies we have discussed, including a strap-on, some anal toys etc.

    Is there anything I can do to get her to be willing to open up more so that these really wild sessions can occur more frequently, and getting her to move even further into things she talks about wanting to do? Or are these session maybe more fun when rare, and some things better left as fantasies?

    I would really appriciate some feedback on the issue! :)

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    laurawalker [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 94
    • Joined: 15 May 2012

    i think the best thing to do is actually talk about these things, have a few shopping trips or look online together.

    maybe experiement with different kinds of porn to see what turns eachother on, blindfolding usually works for the less confident people too.

    the main thing is that she is enjoying it, so just start with something simple like handcuffs or something x

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    jjane47 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 82
    • Joined: 27 Jul 2011

    talking about sex and feelings can be hard in the cold light of day...and seperating true desire from fantasy even more so!

    You could try a simple mmmm ahhhhh nooooo and ohhhhh game.

    Hubby came up with this on the spur oif the moment whilst we were having a joint bath,.......he'd say how would you feel, or what would you think.........at first some of the responses were those that were 'reflex' and when questioned it was clear that some things might elicit a different 'true' response.

    just a thought.....

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    Em [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 24 Jun 2012

    Hi,

    I agree with Jane talking about these things can be awkward so maybe the best thing to do is prompt the situation. Dont plan to have sex just act on your feelings.

    For example If your wife is in the kitchen, walk up and take her...its far more of a turn on when your made to feel wanted at any time...

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