Difficulty orgasming - looking for suggestions

What the title says, basically.

I'm pretty new to toys and just have a basic vibe: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=319

It can get me close, but then it all just kind of... fizzles, or I just manage a tiny little blink and you'll miss it orgasm, which mostly just leaves me frustrated. I think I need something a little thicker and something that will stimulate both externally and internally, but I also seem to want something slower or softer or maybe just less predictable for my clit - mid-speed on the vibe seems to work best to get me so far, but then dialling it up just turns me off :(

Anyone have any tips, tricks or toy suggestions? I should probably say this is all solo, sadly, and my coordination goes to pot when I get close.

Losing coordination can be tricky, my OH is like that.  We have found the balms that lovehoney do work really well and finding it easier to hit the right note.  :)

Also, I cant recommend the waterproof bullets enough.  You can put it right where you need it.

RABBIT!!!

When I started out with sex toys I bought a bullet and it just didn't work for me. It felt kinda good but it was just too powerful and after a while I just started to feel numb and fuzzy. I need both internal and clitoral stimulation to have a good orgasm.

The rabbit ears are great as they start off with a nice tickling sensation and then you can build it up gradually. Also you can hold the base and move the shaft in and out which stimulates you internally but also moves the ears back and forth over your clit. It feels wonderful!

Sounds like you need a vibrator controlled with buttons rather than a twist base as they're easier to operate if you struggle with co ordination.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14099

this is one of lovehoneys most popular rabbit vibrators, just look at all the good reviews. If you want something more slimline there's a slimmer version available which I have and love.

Hope this helps!!

I've actually been looking at the slimline rabbit, but so many of the reviews kept talking about how powerful it was, which wasn't what I was looking for, that I really wasn't sure about it.

dotdashdot wrote:

RABBIT!!!

When I started out with sex toys I bought a bullet and it just didn't work for me. It felt kinda good but it was just too powerful and after a while I just started to feel numb and fuzzy. I need both internal and clitoral stimulation to have a good orgasm.

The rabbit ears are great as they start off with a nice tickling sensation and then you can build it up gradually. Also you can hold the base and move the shaft in and out which stimulates you internally but also moves the ears back and forth over your clit. It feels wonderful!

Sounds like you need a vibrator controlled with buttons rather than a twist base as they're easier to operate if you struggle with co ordination.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14099

this is one of lovehoneys most popular rabbit vibrators, just look at all the good reviews. If you want something more slimline there's a slimmer version available which I have and love.

Hope this helps!!

I've actually been looking at the slimline rabbit, but so many of the reviews kept talking about how powerful it was, which wasn't what I was looking for, that I really wasn't sure about it.

Noon wrote:

Losing coordination can be tricky, my OH is like that.  We have found the balms that lovehoney do work really well and finding it easier to hit the right note.  :)

Also, I cant recommend the waterproof bullets enough.  You can put it right where you need it.

I hadn't thought about balms, I'll look into that, thanks.

mogwai wrote:

dotdashdot wrote:

RABBIT!!!

When I started out with sex toys I bought a bullet and it just didn't work for me. It felt kinda good but it was just too powerful and after a while I just started to feel numb and fuzzy. I need both internal and clitoral stimulation to have a good orgasm.

The rabbit ears are great as they start off with a nice tickling sensation and then you can build it up gradually. Also you can hold the base and move the shaft in and out which stimulates you internally but also moves the ears back and forth over your clit. It feels wonderful!

Sounds like you need a vibrator controlled with buttons rather than a twist base as they're easier to operate if you struggle with co ordination.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14099

this is one of lovehoneys most popular rabbit vibrators, just look at all the good reviews. If you want something more slimline there's a slimmer version available which I have and love.

Hope this helps!!

I've actually been looking at the slimline rabbit, but so many of the reviews kept talking about how powerful it was, which wasn't what I was looking for, that I really wasn't sure about it.

It is powerful on the highest setting, on the lowest one it isn't too powerful. I've only used mine on the highest setting about three times! I have a really sensitive clitoris so anything too powerful just makes me hit the roof. I'd definitely recommend the slimline Jessica Rabbit :)

I'm also looking into buying an orgasm balm.

dotdashdot wrote:

mogwai wrote:

dotdashdot wrote:

RABBIT!!!

When I started out with sex toys I bought a bullet and it just didn't work for me. It felt kinda good but it was just too powerful and after a while I just started to feel numb and fuzzy. I need both internal and clitoral stimulation to have a good orgasm.

The rabbit ears are great as they start off with a nice tickling sensation and then you can build it up gradually. Also you can hold the base and move the shaft in and out which stimulates you internally but also moves the ears back and forth over your clit. It feels wonderful!

Sounds like you need a vibrator controlled with buttons rather than a twist base as they're easier to operate if you struggle with co ordination.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14099

this is one of lovehoneys most popular rabbit vibrators, just look at all the good reviews. If you want something more slimline there's a slimmer version available which I have and love.

Hope this helps!!

I've actually been looking at the slimline rabbit, but so many of the reviews kept talking about how powerful it was, which wasn't what I was looking for, that I really wasn't sure about it.

It is powerful on the highest setting, on the lowest one it isn't too powerful. I've only used mine on the highest setting about three times! I have a really sensitive clitoris so anything too powerful just makes me hit the roof. I'd definitely recommend the slimline Jessica Rabbit :)

I'm also looking into buying an orgasm balm.

I think you may have sold me, thanks :)

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18566 - This stuff is really worth the £6.99, it works MEGA fast, If you've got any questions about it please do ask or add me as a friend :)

I have a similar problem due permanant nerve damage from a slipped disc, will have to give that one a go, thanks for putting this question up and for all the suggestions.

 If it's power you need, you can't go wrong with a magic wand vibrator.

They're more expensive than the standard bullet vibes, but offer a lot more in terms of speed and intensity. You could try it with an attachment and enjoy both internal and external stimulation at the same time.

Something like the Wand Essentials G-Tip Attachment might be good for you?

Jessica Rabbit slimline. Wow. My Mrs has it, and really loves it. She doesn't use the highest setting, as it's a bit too much.

The orgasm balm is also really good before stimulating the clit with something else.

Lovehoney - Gem wrote:

 If it's power you need, you can't go wrong with a http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/magic-wand-vibrators/r.

They're more expensive than the standard bullet vibes, but offer a lot more in terms of speed and intensity. You could try it with an attachment and enjoy both internal and external stimulation at the same time.

Something like the http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20090 might be good for you?

gem i really have to agree but if any er gents out there decide to try for there own use u really need a health warning x

 yeah i'd say magic wand. i wouldn't bother with a rabbit because they're expensive and it's hit or miss whether they're any good

i finally have a fab one! and don't use it cause i only ever want quickies hahaha. i can't say what it is though cause its not from here

I have the same problem with standard bullets and such - but I reckon the issue is the material rather than how powerful the toy is. The vibrations travel differently on a, say, rabbit than for example a Lady Lustfinger which is a much more solid, hard material. I have one and it makes me numb very quickly - however never had the same issue with soft-ish vibrating toys. If you find you get along with the rabbit, maybe also worth looking into bullet vibe sleeves and that sort of thing, finger bullets etc.

I was wondering, how long should it take for women to reach orgasm?  I can't get there either.  I've only used the Basic bullet or the Lustfinger (I tried both together a few times which ALMOST worked) but I tend to get frustrated when I don't quite manage it and give up after 5-10 mins of trying.  I wonder if I'm just impatient.  The fact that there's usually somebody else in the house makes it harder because I'm pretty anxious about making noise and getting found out, which I obviously don't want to happen. 

 Im also saying magic wand!  I have the Lh own brand one it's pink and costs £30. It is battery operated however my batteries have lasted a good 8 months and its still going strong  There are so many speed settings and with the problems you r describing, I would suggest trying the one that starts slowly then increases in speed to go back to slow.... at first it may feel like its not helping you along but it defo will! 

I'd also suggest a Rock Chick - when you look at them you think - wtf how do I use this but its really simple. I prefer to ride my rock chick and its the only toy I own that brings the most satisfying orgasm. It has the vibrating section for your clit and also the internal stimulation. 

I previously owned rabbits and I would never go back to one again. But i would buy a million Rock Chicks 

xxx

Cat Lady: its different for every woman. in the begging it took me even an hour to get there, now its usually 10-15 minutes. I enjoy the pleasure I am getting and I dont worry about the time. its possible you may be bit impatient. I understand the stress of someone in the house, but I suggest you try it when you are alone, and enjoy.

Also reading a nice book of erotic fiction seems to help me a lot to get there quicker. Or my bombshell balm does. Also try experimenting on how you use the toy. Generally I used to struggle, but now I am far more able to get there quicker. I guess it does take a bit practise

mogwai: I would suggest experimenting with different toys to see what you like. The main thing is, that every woman is very different. I do need bullets. but most bullets dont do it for me. but I do find the my Lelo Mia the best, because it is rather powerful, but it goes from barely noticable, so suitable for people with various taste. and with combination of nice cold glass dildo and Mia, I cannot go too wrong.

Rabbits are miss and hit, really. Some people love them, others hate them and sometimes you have to try several till you find one which does it for you. Worth the try, of course, because it may work for you.

Just really try to experiment and see how it goes. The orgasm boosters are good. I have been using the Bombshell balm for over a year and I cannot fault it. But again, everyone reacts bit differently to them. So you may end up trying more than one.

Its really about experimenting and getting to know your body. I know what I am talking about, as I used to be the same