• Try to get sex back into our relationship

    1339426664
    mickylicky [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey all,

    I am 20 years younger than my boyfriend and it shows in our sexdrives. He is always busy, thinking too much and stressed. For a long time we kind of forgot about sex, one reason is that I had the wrong pills (thanks, Cerazette ;)) After I changed the pill, I could not wait for our next weekend together. I got my silk negligee cleaned, collected many ideas about what we could do, sent some sexy e-cards and prepared a homemade (mild!) curry on the Friday evening when he came back from his business trip.

    Bringing the topic to the table ended in a disaster. His first reaction was, no kidding: "I hope I'll get the job in Asia!" I tried to avoid talking about reasons adn blame, I just wanted communication and honesty. I wanted to know what he liked and wants, and I wanted to tell him what I want. Any careful approach in this matter resulted in another large hurdle, including the need for a house rather than a rental apartment. Well, I ended up in tears, the negligee went in the very back of the wardrobe and stayed there until today. At night I wore the largest pyjamas I could find. He was clearly sad as well.

    We cuddle a LOT, we love each other. I am just afraid of starting the topic again. Some of our problems also include alcohol and erection problems. What would you do?

    1339427057

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    we very very rarely mis sex and alcohol

    erection problems can usually be sorted with medical help.

    how long has it been like this?

    1339431256

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    try flirting a bit more and then maybe cuddles may develop into something more.

    1339437018
    mickylicky [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey, thanks!

    shoogaloo - sweet!

    We just had a brief talk on the phone about it, I told him about my new toy and he is ok with it. He said he has had a lot of stress and is hoping for a more relaxed situation and some time together. He does not want to talk about details though.

    I suggested a relationship counselling session. He said, he does not think it can make things better. If I don't think we can improve anything by ourselves during the summer, I am making an appointment anyway. He had promised me a few times to cut down on alcohol, but he didn't. I guess this is the reason he does not fancy going to the GP either.

    I am also going to flirt more, I like to grab his bum, make the snogs a bit more intense and to make compliments, especially when he is walking around naked. I am just so fed up with his "don't be silly" kind of turning me down.

    1339437629
    littleminnie [sign in to see picture]
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    Talking is good. My Boyfriend and I rarely have sex anymore but with a little chat we got it back on track.

    1339456334
    Iwantmore [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Mickylicky

    I too have a OH that always works away and very rarely seems interested in anything other that work or sleep.

    Again like you very rarely can we talk without it turning the wrong way.

    The only way I have found that i can truly get my feelings across is putting it in a letter, then packing it with his things when he goes away. He reads it while hes away and it seems my opinions are noted - not always acted upon tho but atleast i know he knows!

    It will all work out in the end, keep your chin up xx

    1339494942

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    Iwantmore wrote:

    I too have a OH that always works away and very rarely seems interested in anything other that work or sleep.

    I work away and find when I am away I think about sex more than is probably healthy for me. Separation does heighten desire for me.

    1339511100
    Ms HKM [sign in to see picture]
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    Absence makes the heart grow fonder...?

    1339511761

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    Maybe HKM it does in our case, also when away we both change slightly (as everyone does) so when I go home it is a new person to get to know

    Although I only get home abnout times a month I still think our love life is on a par with most of the population married/together 30 yrs

    1339512401
    mickylicky [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes, the absence makes me miss and want him a lot. Somehow I have the impression it does not the same for him. Anyway, I cannot change him and I am glad he calls and emails me a lot.

    1339512528

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    ML when we started we had no e mail and frequently no phone I used to get and write a lot of letters, if he phones and e mails he cares I would say

    1339513142
    mickylicky [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry, gunther, of course he cares about me

    He is just not thinking about sex, I THINK, when he is away.

    1339513332

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    ml find some way to ring the changes a change is as good as a rest

    I was feeling horny today so I booked a flight hard to put myself in the shoes of a guy who doesnt travel home with a stiffy Im afraid

    1339627294
    fistinglover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    i'm on antidepressants and my sex drive has started to fail miserably

    help me, too my boyfriends starting to get annoyed!

    1339671153

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    fl I know three women (including mother) who were prescribed anti depressants, all had to eventually wean themselves off.

    I wouldnt contradict a doctors advice but massive over prescription is well documented, try walking, thinking positive looking on the bright side. Haveing a low sex drive and an annoyed bf is cause for depression not a solution.

    Try satisfying him even if you arnt in the mood, it may cheer you up a bit also

    1339676475
    fistinglover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    i suffer from v bad depression and horrific self image and my tablets have helped millions so i am very pro antidepressants and plan to stay on them for ever and ever and ever haha. i just wish i could have my sex drive back : (

    1339861730
    mickylicky [sign in to see picture]
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    Fistinglover,

    I understand. Is there anything else you can do against your depressions besides pills?

    What happens if you, regardless of your arousal at the moment, just try to touch yourself and have some naughty thoughts?

    1339876042
    Naked_butler [sign in to see picture]
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    if drinking i cant get it up. he not alone in that

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