• how to spice things up

    goodgirl turning bad [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 22 Mar 2012

    HI guys

    i'm looking for advise please, me and my BF have been together nearly 4yrs and at 1st the sex was great, however over the last year or so it has kinda died a lot, your lucky if we have it once a mth now

    I do sometimes start it of however prob not as much as i should, and as much as he would want , see I am not nearly as confident as he is in the bedroom dept. or anyway at all.

    I am very shy only ever had 2 sexual partners inlcuding this BF and the one before was not great. so i dont have much experience at all :-( i know that is sad but heah its me.

    I know for 110% that he would like me to be more proactive and experienced with trying different things in the bedroom BUT i dont know where to start ???????????????????

    I did buy some nice lingerie from this site a while ago however have never had the confidence to where it yet, we also have handcuffs and whips that used to get used at the begining of our relationship however he would also start with them. I dont mind using any of this at all, actually i think we should use it more, but get at the thought of me getting them out lol

    i know its stupid and he has said to me loads of times in the past dont be embarressed just do what you want to me let your inabition go but i am still not sure how, I would love to try and get most things started foreplay and full sex and even take control while having sex maybe go on top etc but as said not sure how to start it all,

    or am i just being stupid and prudish should i just say bugger it and let everything go and start things ?????



    lpkpjh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 56
    • Joined: 27 Oct 2006

    You both need to let go and dont get shy at the end of the day its only you both in the room and noone knows what happens behind closed doors unless you tell them.

    Get the lingerie out and go wild.

    Supprise him by coming downstairs in it and top it off with some bedroom shoes.

    Just go wild and try it all.

    truffle [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 118
    • Joined: 20 Dec 2011

    Yeah, bugger it let everything go!

    Seriously though, I understand the confidence issues but try to look at it in the way I'm seeing it; You've been in a relationship for four years. That for a start means a lot. You must (hopefully) be very much in love and comfortable around each other (in a non sexual way). You have nothing to lose by opening up to him sexually - Don't think he's going to run away or judge you, it sounds like he'll welcome it with open arms. If you feel embarrassed, then have a giggle about it, it's okay to do that. For example, if I'm very wet and make that 'queefy' noise or whatever during sex, we just look at each other and laugh about it. It's embarassing, but what can you do?! I usually have to stop when that happens because I can't concentrate, but he just tells me to ignore it - he doesn't mind at all, and it sounds like your bloke will be just as fine.

    With your whips etc at the start of the relationship, there must have been a bit more confidence in you then to have let him use them in the first place - get them back out and get that back. Definitly get that lingerie out. When I was first shy about dressing up, I'd get into it then get under the covers, so that he had the surprise of pulling back the covers to see me dressed up, and I had the covers there if I got insecure - I don't anymore I can tell you. :)

    Also, I find it hard to initate sex too sometimes. I cannot recommend enough the 'Pleasure hunt sex game' on this site to spice things up. It comes with balls that you open up and you have five slips with 'tasks' on them like 'recieve oral while standing' or '69', even 'wrestle naked' and there are some romantic ones as well like 'slow dance naked'. If you use those, then technically you aren't initating anything because you've already got something telling you where to start which might make things easier for you. And, as it's a 'game' it might take some of the pressure off as well.

    Good luck and let us know how you get on. :)

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