• This may sound silly but I would like some advice

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    ayeaye [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, basically I have been going out with someone for over 3 years now and we have a lot of fun in the bedroom, but lately I have been having fantasies about other men-is this normal? I feel guilty like I am betraying him! He still turns me on and I don't know why I have started doing this now

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    Shiny [sign in to see picture]
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    ..This would probably be better answered by one of the ladies..... but there are aprobably a number of reasons

    examples

    1 Your feelings aren't as strong as you think and your looking to change.

    2. You just like the thought of a threesome

    3. You are not monogamous by nature.

    4. You want to play around a little

    They are only examples and I see nothing wrong with any of them, Don't appear to be abnormal to me

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    ayeaye [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks for those anwers but what confuses me most is that I don't even like the thought of actually having sex with anyone else-I want to stay with my partner for the rest of my natural! thanks for taking the time to reply though

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    Shiny [sign in to see picture]
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    I forgot number 5. Just the fantasy of having a threesome. My OH has this and she gets quite turned on when I talk about it and make up fantasies. Its the idea of having two penises to occupy her. The fantasy is never about a real personality though.

    We often use a dildo in these fantasies to represent the "third" It has been fun to explore.

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    Postillionager [sign in to see picture]
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    ayeaye wrote:

    thanks for those anwers but what confuses me most is that I don't even like the thought of actually having sex with anyone else-I want to stay with my partner for the rest of my natural! thanks for taking the time to reply though

    Hi ayeaye,

    I've just read this and it seems like the important issue is that you love your partner and want to stay with him and no one else. The human brain is complex, so it is quite normal for people to imagine something hypothetical without actually wanting it to happen.

    For example, I have occasionally had dreams in which I'm having sex with someone who I don't actually like at all, in fact, it's almost like a nightmare. I wake up and think, "Uggh! Thank God that wasn't real!" It's just a random bizarre thought, it's not significant. It is also quite normal for people to have harmless fantasies about having sex with a different partner, there's no actual intention to do it.

    Is it possible that your partner might be capable of sharing your fantatsies? It could be a big thrill for both of you, as long as you're both okay with it and feel totally secure in your relationship. If it's probably too much for him to cope with, you can keep your fantasies for your own private thoughts or just ignore them.

    Either way, it's not abnormal and it shouldn't affect your relationship.

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    [suspended user]

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    Lovehoney - Hella wrote:

    Some people can be sensitive about it, so I wouldn't recommend telling him necessarily. I'd suggest he's no different though - all of us are at it whether we're single, in a relationship, married or a hermit. :)

    Sound advice, there is something about modern society that seems to compel everyone to tell all, I keep my thoughts to myself, things work better that way. I dont actually fantasise about anyone else anymore but have in the past, many male fantasies are a dark place that others shouldnt go to, and always remain fantasies.

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    ayeaye [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks to everyone for your help! I feel alot better now I really do appreciate it

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    fizzy [sign in to see picture]
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    i always have crazy dreams about having sex with random men sometimes i know the men in my dreams other time i don't i still dream about having sex with my hubby espeacilly afther weve had sex!

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