• Is sex really the bottom line?

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    when I was at junior school I remember my teacher saying sex was the difference between male and female. To me "sex" is the whole thing it includes dining out sharing a joke flirting, comforting when sad, congratualing when successful, the physical iunteraction is of course important but without the rest of it it would be a hollow experience.

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    Dee_licious333 [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    There have been several references to grass being greener, I have been unfaithful I am not proud to say and for me the grass is greenest on my side of the valley even if the sex isnt earthshattering the overall experience is the best.

    Oops i defintely mean isnt greener - if you read my thread you will understand. Typo.

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    Dee_licious333 wrote:

    gunther wrote:

    There have been several references to grass being greener, I have been unfaithful I am not proud to say and for me the grass is greenest on my side of the valley even if the sex isnt earthshattering the overall experience is the best.

    The reference was if you read correctly .. the grass isnt always greener! re-read

    Dee I read your comment and I agree but there were others, as a metaphor "the grass isnt greener" doesnt work. I did say "several references" oh and BTW nice pic

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    Dee_licious333 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry gunther, I re-read my post and i meant to say isnt greener. Its very easy to read about other peoples sex lives and feel inadequate. That is the only negative with going a community like this.

    But then i read some people's views and posts and count myself lucky.

    Thx for the comment about my photo.

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    Dee there were other comments in the same vein anyway, it wasnt specifically directed at yours. I have been on the net since it started almost anything positive I take on board but never feel inadequate because I know how ´much "BS" is posted.

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    MissBoo [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    There have been several references to grass being greener, I have been unfaithful I am not proud to say and for me the grass is greenest on my side of the valley even if the sex isnt earthshattering the overall experience is the best.

    Dee I read your comment and I agree but there were others, as a metaphor "the grass isnt greener" doesnt work. I did say "several references" oh and BTW nice pic

    I don't understand what you trying to say? I think it is an apt metaphor and everyone agrees that is ISN'T always greener and therefore 'greener' on your own side?

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    Grimm [sign in to see picture]
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    ".....I want it every day not only for my own sexual desire but sex is also a therapeutic mechanism for me to deal with my loneliness, unhappiness, desire and self esteem....."
    If you really feel like that, sex isn't the answer; it's part of a problem.
    It seems that sex makes you feel worthy, desired, loved?
    How would you feel about sex if you were not lonely? Why are you unhappy?
    Most importantly, why do you lack self esteem?
    You need to understand what makes you tick.

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    rach74 [sign in to see picture]
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    sex is an important part of my relationship, we both have high sex drives, i have never been one of these people that can be in a relationship and go months without sex, this is why we are all built different, one of my friends is married and only has sex because she feels she has too to keep him happy but she does it couple of times a year!!, now me i am totally different, when its the wrong time of the month im so frustrated and cant wait for the period to finish so i can get back to sex lol

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    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
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    Sex is a bit part of a relationship for me. If the sex isn't good, if the passion isn't there then more often than not the happiness isn't there either.

    x

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    MissBoo wrote::

    I don't understand what you trying to say? I think it is an apt metaphor and everyone agrees that is ISN'T always greener and therefore 'greener' on your own side?

    the story I was told ws about a guy living in a valley looking at the other side he thought the grass was so beautiful he went over to take a look and then saw his own grass was more beautiful, if people thought the grass on their side was most beautiful in the first place the story wouldnt work.

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    Jess_cd [sign in to see picture]
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    For me sex isn't necessarily the bottom line butit's a huge part of the relationship. Not just having sex but being able to talk about it. Seems odd coming from me being that I've never told a single partner about my crossdressing!

    Not sure if it would end a relationship if it was bad but it would have an effect on things I'm sure.

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    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    for me it's the emotional connection i have with someone

    I want sex but i also want cuddles and affection and general love. I do feel this from sex ( with the right person) but its also the other stuff that makes me feel wanted

    I think i could cope with someone with a lower sex drive so long as they reassure me and keep up with the other emotional stuff.

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    S&M sexy times [sign in to see picture]
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    To feel loved & wanted is important to me most of all, once I feel wanted & loved then I can go on to the next level & enjoy initimacy.

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    fistinglover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    ah we have the best relationship ever and all our friends tell us theyre jealous, but as soon as we stop/cant have sex, it just falls apart!

    (your fault if you read this ;p)

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    jjane47 [sign in to see picture]
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    Important yes - the be all and end all - no.

    we're lucky enough to have been married for 20+ years and obviously during that time there have been highs and lows in terms of our sex life. Over the years i've talked to a number of friends who have virtually no sex life whatsoever - yet they're still in a happy relationship.

    For us i've come to realise that although i've always been quite horny that in some ways i've been quite repressed sexually and have tended to raise an eyebrow when yet another toy arrives courtesy of hubby. More recently i've come to learn that sex isn't all about showing love for one another ( ie/ passion ) but something a bit more base than that - of enjoying a legal pleasureable 'high'

    Personally i think sex is like many things in life a habit, and perhaps for some when the initial spark wavers and life ( kids etc ) gets in the way it can be too easy to let things slip in the bedroom department. But like all habits it should be possible with good communication to rekindle that spark.......

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    well said jjane

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    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
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    S&M sexy times wrote:

    To feel loved & wanted is important to me most of all, once I feel wanted & loved then I can go on to the next level & enjoy initimacy.

    totally agree... sex with someone you love is better than any other sex in my opinion. (tried and tested).

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    ShaftMaster [sign in to see picture]
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    Lady.Gasm.X wrote:

    I am sure there are many other couples in relationships where the partner's have different sex drives. My partner has a very low sex drive... while mine is very high. I never really gave it much thought up until a few days ago when a friend commented on it.

    They told me that it is not possible to have a happy relationship without a happy sex life. They also said it would lead to one of ur straying if he didn't 'give me what I needed'. I know in my heart I would never cheat on him but do you think there is any truth in what my friend said to me. Is sex really the bottom line?

    I wouldn't say it is 'the bottom line' exactly, but is possibly the most overlooked of several factors that are needed in a happy and stable relationship.

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    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
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    ShaftMaster wrote:

    Lady.Gasm.X wrote:

    I am sure there are many other couples in relationships where the partner's have different sex drives. My partner has a very low sex drive... while mine is very high. I never really gave it much thought up until a few days ago when a friend commented on it.

    They told me that it is not possible to have a happy relationship without a happy sex life. They also said it would lead to one of ur straying if he didn't 'give me what I needed'. I know in my heart I would never cheat on him but do you think there is any truth in what my friend said to me. Is sex really the bottom line?

    I wouldn't say it is 'the bottom line' exactly, but is possibly the most overlooked of several factors that are needed in a happy and stable relationship.

    Agreed... I think it is the first part of a relationship to suffer in a relationship.

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