• Girlfriend and I have completely different sex drives

    1338231394

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3043
    • Joined: 16 Feb 2012

    fistinglover69 wrote:

    tell her to come off the pill for a bit if she's on that, and then you can see if thats the cause

    and look into any medication, like anti depressants, anti psychotics, anxiolytics, or ones for high blood pressure

    dont tell her anything discuss it

    1338235063
    fistinglover69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 628
    • Joined: 25 Aug 2011

    gunther wrote:

    fistinglover69 wrote:

    tell her to come off the pill for a bit if she's on that, and then you can see if thats the cause

    and look into any medication, like anti depressants, anti psychotics, anxiolytics, or ones for high blood pressure

    dont tell her anything discuss it

    that's what i meant......

    1351787459
    kinky str8 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 94
    • Joined: 6 Sep 2011

    cant believe what i'm reading, my wife and i are expieriencing these probs atm, not so severe as 3 months mind but i'm gonna see if her pills are hormonal ones, thanks.

    1351791319
    ZombieCpl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 328
    • Joined: 19 Nov 2010

    play_with_fire wrote:

    Before I start this thread, I just want to say - my girlfriend and i have a fantastic relationship together, we get along incredibly well and we always tell each other how much we love each other....... However....

    We have been together for around 3 years or so, and in the last year our sex life seems to have all but disappeared. I get incredibly turned on by her, and sometimes I try to show that, but she just seems to have completely lost interest in having sex. At the start of our relationship we were having sex 1-2 times every day, but now it is more like once every 3 months, and even then I feel it is mainly because she feels obliged to.

    We are both relatively young (22) and I feel that while my sex drive is huge, my girlfriend just doesn't seem particularly interested. Despite that, our relationship together feels like it is really strong otherwise. (Is this situation common??)

    Lovehoney Community - I need your help! Please help me narrow down what, if anything, might be wrong!

    After the 'honeymoon' period of the relationship (this is usually at the beginning of the relationship when couples are rampant, I know we were, 3 to 4 times a day was normal) sex slows down, often considerably. Work and other factors can contribute towards slowness of sex drive, especially stressful things.

    me and my partner have sex a lot less than we used to, its not because we dont want to or we dont fancy each other, its just because we are both physically and mentally shattered. The best thing to do is be spontaneous, dont plan it and try to introduce new things. I just bought a cocoa and mint edible body butter to surprise my partner with a massage and maybe lead to something else but there is plenty out there that you can try

    1351804090
    protectyournuts [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 176
    • Joined: 19 Jan 2009

    Things can change, at times when my OH isn't feeling it the way I am for a few days or a week or two I just do what I did when I was single or we weren't living together. I scratch that itch myself, but I tell her about it so she doesn't feel left out. She normally doesn't mind as long as I'm honest as she recognises the difference in our sex drives.

    1351892442
    Bertie831 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 24 Oct 2012

    My boyfriend & i are experiencing exactly the same problem, we've been together for over 4 years & used to have an excellent sex life, but i just have no desire to have sex anymore & i dont know why.

    We have a very solid loving relationship, we often spend time together, eating out, cinema & shopping. Im trying to find a full time job atm tho, so we can move out my parents house. But reading some of the comments on here, im might see my GP about changing my pill, ive been on it for about 10 years now, so maybe its time for a break or change...although i dont like mucking around with it as i can be really hormonal!

    Hope you find an answer! When you do let me know ;) x

    1351892595

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3043
    • Joined: 16 Feb 2012

    Bertie831 wrote:

    My boyfriend & i are experiencing exactly the same problem, we've been together for over 4 years & used to have an excellent sex life, but i just have no desire to have sex anymore & i dont know why.

    We have a very solid loving relationship, we often spend time together, eating out, cinema & shopping. Im trying to find a full time job atm tho, so we can move out my parents house. But reading some of the comments on here, im might see my GP about changing my pill, ive been on it for about 10 years now, so maybe its time for a break or change...although i dont like mucking around with it as i can be really hormonal!

    Hope you find an answer! When you do let me know ;) x

    As has been said living with parents blunts any drive sex or otherwise...good luck

    1352071622
    bemmyscot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 51
    • Joined: 27 Dec 2010

    I know how it feels to have mismatched sex drives. My wife and I have been together for over 13 years and I would say that the last six years, my wife and I have sex maybe 3/4 times a year at most. She was always tired (we have 2 kids aged 6 and 9). So this contibutes I know. She has been diagnosed with underactive thyriod, but that takes time to rectify the problem. She has been on medication for over 1 year, but so far no difference to how she feels. All I would say is you have to acceopt it untill you sort out out, whatever that entails, if you love her. I masterbate, but mainly on my own as she thinks im being demanding even if Im happy to wank myself without her getting involved if she doesnt want to.

    My wife has also tried changing the pill or even coming off it but this also has had no effect on her sex drive. Just stick with it and hopefully it will get better. I certainly hope it will do.

    I hope you guys sort it out.

    Take care.

    1352073231
    QueenC [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 202
    • Joined: 23 Jan 2012

    Hi PWF.

    I've been through something like you describe- I was on the pill and it really affected my sex drive, to the point where not only could I not get turned on, I found my partner a real turn off, and wouldn't even let him hug me. Needless to say, I got very depressed and things between us got terrible. We argued massively, but I thought doctors and my boyfriend would laugh at me or think I was lying if I claimed to have depression, so I left it. Things got much worse and he asked if I wanted him to leave. I had no idea that he felt that way, but he just couldn't understand what was wrong with me, which wasn't helped at all by me saying that I didn't know either. We worked through it together and we came out the other side happy- I got off the pill and my sex drive was like I couldn't believe and got treated for depression.

    Sorry I can't offer much advice but hopefully you can get something from that :)

    1352074203
    amydb69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 338
    • Joined: 18 Jul 2012

    the pill is terrible for loss of sex drive and also deppression for me played a big factor in mine i came off the pill and started taking my medication but that did exactly the same then when i came off that as well i want sex every day and he doesnt want it at all it complete bollocks xx

    1352076884
    ArchersKiss [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 75
    • Joined: 30 Jul 2012

    Last year my sex drive hit rock bottom. My hormones run wild, and most of the time I have an 'above avarage' sex drive, however my doctor messed around with my pill, took me off the combined one, and put me on the mini pill, that made me ill, so I had the implant. Which unfortunately upset my polycystic ovaries, and made my sex drive just dissaper.

    The implant came out, and after about 8 months things started to go back to normal. And I'm back to my 'normal' hormonal self. With rabid cock hungry days, horny days, and nah I'm good thanks days.

    Fuck what was I trying to say?...... Erm, yeah. talk to her, I didn't actually notice the drop till the other half pointed it out. Loss of sex drive, can be a sypmtom,... stress, depression in my case PCOS. Is she aware of it? And you should be as supportive as you humanly can, I dont think I could of got through all of this with out the OH. And like everyone else has said, suggest she goes for a check up with the contraceptive nurse. Cause the best form of contraception shouldn't be a total loss of desire.

    Hugs and Kisses to you both

    Ax

    1352120105
    Littlelou [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 23 Oct 2012

    I was on the pill and lost my sex drive completely. When i read stories about losing your sex drive i was like, No way. I used to have a very high demanding one and didn't think a silly little pill would change that. How wrong was i??

    Me and my partner of 3 years (i am a similiar age), went about 9 months with hardly any sex. (He must love me to stay around that long without it!) and I came off the pill about 3 months ago and it's only recently come back... in full mode!! We're back to doing it 2/3 times a day! I'm sure that will calm down a bit but I'm so happy.

    If a mixture of life stresses and the pill are the ones doing this to her, just stick by her! My OH spent a long 9 months swapping a night of passion to a night of cuddles and films and I'm so grateful!!! I, however, wish someone had warned me sooner about the pill so definitely worth a mention. Say you heard about it online somewhere, looked into it and that maybe she should look into it herself. She may be sensitive towards it so just be gentle :)

    We actually found the purchasing of some different lovehoney products was the thing that got things going again ;)

    Good luck x

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.