Dating is exhausting!

cheer_up wrote:

chipilapa wrote:

dotdashdot wrote:

chipilapa wrote:

I just got asked out too. Very very ickily. Ick.

Tell us more! x

I'm tempted to paste it, but reading it again makes me feel kind of ill.... I don't want to make anyone on here feel ill too!! Bleugh. Even his username is offputtingly corny. Sigh....

 

Okay, now you HAVE to tell us.

You guys only have yourselves to blame. I WARNED YOU!

"mmmmmmm yes ........one just HAD to get in touch yes?? an enticing lady ... lets hope the profile does the trick and more??... this could be very interesting dont you think????... a lady to please and pleasure ...... a dream date to come??"

 Could..... he use???? any..... more question???? marks??????????? or..... ellipses.....?????

In English: Yep, he's vile. Put him in the Scraping The Barrel pile. Yay rhyme!

  I think I'm going to barf....

*laughs*

I guess "*throws up*" wouldn't really work as a response, might encourage him.....

 Try and out-creep him. Turn it into a competition. It'll be like a game of Chicken played over the internet.

I don't think I could just delete that and pretend it didn't happen... I think I'd have to say something... but then you run the risk of a reply filled with even more sickening words and ????????????'s !!!

...

On that bombshell I am off to bed, goodnight :) xx

 Oh dear god...I don't even...

Night dotslashdot :) and thank you again, you're too lovely.x

 I just had the weirdest message from someone

Hello TCsC, ********* has expressed interest in you! (This is a flirt option for women)

:-/ flirt option for women..wut? At the risk of sounding shallow she really isn't the most attractive person I've clapped eyes on so whatevs but just don't know if that's something she's made up or women have some special flirt option us men don't?

Turtle - Most dating sites have a flirt/poke/similar option, I wouldn't be surprised if they have a special one for women as ladies as still considered as less likely to make the first move..

At the risk of sounding a tad cold, go for it - you can just flirt/date for the fun of it, company, excitement and ego boost, you're not committing to anything by replying to a message. You don't have to decide whether you like/are attracted to someone before you meet, that's the whole point of dates to figure this out in good time. I have done my fair share of online dating and often the ones with lovely pictures turned out to be not so lovely in real life, and, surprising enough, often the opposite way round too. I did a huge amount of casual dating before I figured out what it is I want and before I actually found that thing, but going for pretty much any dates I was offered (online as well as IRL) tought me a lot about myself.

spiced tea wrote:

Turtle - Most dating sites have a flirt/poke/similar option, I wouldn't be surprised if they have a special one for women as ladies as still considered as less likely to make the first move..

At the risk of sounding a tad cold, go for it - you can just flirt/date for the fun of it, company, excitement and ego boost, you're not committing to anything by replying to a message. You don't have to decide whether you like/are attracted to someone before you meet, that's the whole point of dates to figure this out in good time. I have done my fair share of online dating and often the ones with lovely pictures turned out to be not so lovely in real life, and, surprising enough, often the opposite way round too. I did a huge amount of casual dating before I figured out what it is I want and before I actually found that thing, but going for pretty much any dates I was offered (online as well as IRL) tought me a lot about myself.

 Ah OK makes sense..thanks :)

OK so when I said "At the risk of sounding shallow she really isn't the most attractive person I've clapped eyes on" I was being very polite..I'm not the shallow "looks are everything" type, FAR from it, but there's a difference between finding someone mildly physically attractive yet highly personallity attractive to finding someone completely unattractive physically - I'm trying to word this in a way to not sound horrible haha, I would just feel bad playing 'the game' with someone I know I will never ever be able to look at and think yea I'm attracted to you

edit: oh there's this girl who is very attractive who always comes up in my search results but shes always changing her profile picture and I get caught out EVERY time haha..like hmm you're very pretty..oh no its you again god dammnit! lol

TTurtle wrote:

OK so when I said "At the risk of sounding shallow she really isn't the most attractive person I've clapped eyes on" I was being very polite..I'm not the shallow "looks are everything" type, FAR from it, but there's a difference between finding someone mildly physically attractive yet highly personallity attractive to finding someone completely unattractive physically - I'm trying to word this in a way to not sound horrible haha, I would just feel bad playing 'the game' with someone I know I will never ever be able to look at and think yea I'm attracted to you

Hahah well stop being too polite then, that person is (hopefully?) not reading this. It's not being shallow, it's how humans are programmed to be, and in the dating game it is important to be aware of what you are / are not attracted to. Dating is often disappointing (yes, exhausting!) and sometimes hugely damaging to our self-confidence, but being TOO nice/diplomatic just out of "mercy" can be equally damaging and more importantly frustrating for both.

I have to say I did go on a few dates knowing I would not fancy the person, yet I had promised myself I would not turn down an offer. Second date maybe, but you have to try everything once... Like I said, I learned a lot from all of them. Of course you have to be much more careful not to hurt the other person too much but it also seems to me that more often than not, if one person is not too impressed the other won't be either.

Well if she's a complete troll TT then don't bother replying. It's not good to be too fussy but come on, there is a limit! :P Not a looker with a profile full of text speak is a big no no!

In my experience the ones with the not so good pictures are better in real life and the ones where you're eyes are popping out of your head aren't that great in reality.

The flirt button on POF is just so that women can show an interest without having to send a message. It's very silly really. x

Surely it's like trying to catch your eye or winking at you in a bar? Can't say that either act tends to overwhelm me....

And as for the "... wants to meet you" emails?!??!?!

I know they're soo annoying! They're the only ones you can't unsubscribe from which is irritating. Just shove em in your junk folder! xx

I remember getting those .... "wants to meet you" bullshit emails!!!

I find dating websites harder than meeting someone in a bar, it's so hard to word your messages right. I am a little sarcastic and dry in "real life" but in a funny way, so in a bar it comes off with my expressions and jokey nature. However in a message this cannot be portrayed so I struggle to write messages. You want to come across confident but not too confident, you want to come across as if you have some sort of personality but not sound like an idiot, the list is endless. I think they should have pre defined messages and you pick which one best suits you, obviously you can tailor it and make it personal so you can reflect a bit of your personality. I personally reckon women should be a little forgiving if the correct thing is not said, after all they are only trying to impress you because they like you :) 

Most dating sites have ice breaker messages but you cannot edit them.....I find many people on dating sites are just there to flirt and have some fun rather than be serious about meeting up....I am totally disillussioned with dating sites!!!

We all appreciate how difficult they are. In a bar approaching someone is a lot harder but in general it's easier to strike up a conversation and get to know someone if you're face to face.

I love that kinda humour I'm exactly the same! You just need to find a girl who appreciates it and doesn't take it too seriously.

Predefined messages would suck, it's really obvious when you receive a copy and pasted message and they just go straight in my delete bin. I like to know that a guy has made some effort even if it is a simple comment on your music taste. Just shows they've actually read your profile!

x

Grrrr I read profiles I took time and effort to write messages, I was polite and patient, had some nice exchange of messages with women but it never went any further...not even when I suggested meeting up socially for a drink  Grrrr

Ggggrrrr, fed up with yet another one saying one thing and meaning another, why is it so god damn hard to just be honest, pisses me off.... then if you decide I'm not for you, just bloody well have the balls to say so, it's not that hard.... ggggrrrrrr