Dating is exhausting!

Just need a little rant, sorry everyone!

I thought I was ready to launch myself into this dating malarky and have really enjoyed it so far. But my god I didn't realise how hard it would be! I've enjoyed meeting new people and that warm fluttery feeling when I get a text from the guy I like, not to mention the knee trembling kisses and hot sex!

But being a slight control freak makes it a little hard for me to just go with the flow. I haven't done this before so I haven't ever had to deal with the "he hasn't text me!" worries. It all seems so petty but I'm so sucked into the "playing it cool waiting half an hour before replying to a text so I don't seem too keen" and overanalysing until my brain hurts!

My whole reason for joining the dating site was to meet new people as I don't have many friends where I live at the moment. I'm revising for exams at the moment which is taking up a lot of time but it's very dull and I don't have much to distract me from the dating/texting obsession like going out with friends.

I'm currently at home, waiting for a text to let me know if he's coming to see me tonight... basically just waiting to be let down. If I was less of a control freak I'd just chill out and not really give a toss but as it is I'm going a little bit crazy. I like a time schedule!!

Sorry to rant, this is really good for me as it's getting me out of my comfort zone but my god is it difficult!! x

 Aw well just count yourself lucky you can get a date :( I've been trying the whole online dating thing too but so far been a complete disaster and very soul destroying lol.

My advice to you is don't forget he could be trying to play it cool..not trying to smother you etc. since it sounds like you are just dating? If he is really blowing hot and cold and messing you around don't be afraid after a while to ask him where he sees things going..sure if you've had 1 or 2 dates thats too soon but if he's still like this after 5 or 6 I think that'd be time to start asking questions since it doesn't bode well for the future if you're being played around.

Also I would say just to chill, plenty of fish in the sea (especially if you are on plenty of fish lol) and if you just relax a bit and see how things turn out you might just be suprised :)

Aw sorry TTurtle. I know I'm lucky to have had some dates and it will happen for you I promise.

We're both trying to play it cool, I don't want things to be too full on as it's only been a few weeks. He's not blowing hot and cold, he does seem to really like me. But playing it cool is also exhausting!

Relax... relax... relax...

 Ah well there you go then! I guess the old saying goes you can't have it both ways..you either jump in and go for it and play it cool..if you play it cool things can only get better as they go from warm to steaming hot! I know what you mean about it being exhausting though..as you say just relax, if he seems to really like you it'll work out!

And thanks, haha I'm sure something will work out just can't see it at the moment. I added you as a friend btw if you fancy a chat.x

If it helps reassure you that online dating is a venture worth persuing, I met my wife on a dating website, following a number of disasterous dates! The main thing is to relax and have fun :) Best wishes for you both x

boing-boing wrote:

If it helps reassure you that online dating is a venture worth persuing, I met my wife on a dating website, following a number of disasterous dates! The main thing is to relax and have fun :) Best wishes for you both x

nice to hear boing-boing! I'd happily take a disasterous date over no dates haha, I think I'm doing it wrong.

Ha,ha! You won't be saying that once you've been on a few :D Are you approaching people on there, or waiting for them to approach you? :)

boing-boing wrote:

Ha,ha! You won't be saying that once you've been on a few :D Are you approaching people on there, or waiting for them to approach you? :)

Oh yes definately approaching people, with carefully thought out messages not just 'hello how are you?' type ones. Ah well never mind lol don't want to take over dotdashdots thread. The fact that she hasn't replied could be a good sign...? Fingers x'd

Oops, didn't think of that... Sorry dotdashdot.... Hope it all gets better for you both, stick with it! :)

Ahem - not wanting to continue the gatecrashing of .-.'s thread, but nice to hear stories from fellow online daters - TTurtle, I'm glad it's not just me, I'm about ready to give up on the whole thing! boing-boing, I'm not convinced....... ;)

Haha don't worry about gatecrashing my thread guys it's really great to hear from you all :D

So yeah, date went well in the end.. once he finally turned up. Felt like a bit of a prat for all of the waiting around and am really going to try hard not to be a control freak in the future!

I'm getting the right vibes and we were very cuddly and close all night which is nice :) but I just keep expecting to get screwed over, I think it's a defence mechanism that I use- expect the worst so that it hurts less if it happens. I'm still not 100% sure about the whole thing but I'm just going to chill the f*** out and stop obsessing.

Boing-boing that's so great to hear! Love a good success story.

Don't give up guys it will happen!!! x

Hi dotdashdot glad to hear you are managing to have dates through online dating and it sounds like it is going quite well with the guy you are seeing. Enjoy wherever it leads and always good to be a little wary but try not to let that interfere too much with enjoying the moments

As for me I have finally given up on online dating.......It gets a bit too much when you get people saying what a lovely friendly guy I am but it never goes to the point of meeting up....So now trying forums I belong to (not here as I know this would be against the rules) and also trying penpal sites.

It seems that online dating works for some and not for others....oh well

 Ohhhhh, dating sounds terrifying :( I'm not looking forward to all this at all, haha.

Aw sorry cheer_up I didn't mean to make it sound so scary! Are you thinking of taking the plunge soon?

Sorry to hear that naughtyrider, online dating is really tough. Luckily my experience has been good but I think some people forget that it's a real, live person they're talking to and can be very unkind sometimes! Hope you have better luck on forums.

x

I sincerely doubt I'll have to worry about dating for a while, haha. I'm not the datey type. I'm just worried that one day I might get asked on a date and then the mind games begin and oh God, the horror of it all!

dotdashdot wrote:

Sorry to hear that naughtyrider, online dating is really tough. Luckily my experience has been good but I think some people forget that it's a real, live person they're talking to and can be very unkind sometimes! Hope you have better luck on forums.

x

Thanks dotdashdot

And I am happy for you that your experience of online dating has been good for you

 Ah great it worked out in the end dotslashdot! :D sounds like you're on to a winner there :)

haha get this right, I've sent out a few messages this evening and had 9 'hits' on my profile, and not one reply! Swear I'm just one ugly mofo lol!

Shame on them all!!!!!

 I know! Who can resist a turtle eh?! Haha. I've struck up a bit of a conversation with a lass just down the road, she seems pretty nice :)

Maybe it's the length of that tongue which is scaring them off! ;)