• Sex chat...When is it ok?

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    MissKnki [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi LH lovelies,

    I'm intrigued to hear your thoughts on where & when sex talk is acceptable.

    The thought never really crossed my mind until last night. I was on a dinner date with one of my closest girl friends who has recently moved in with her man. She was filling me in on how much their sex life & relationship has improved now that there is no risk of them being interupted.

    5 minutes in to the conversation, the woman at the table next to us came over to inform us we were ruining her dinner with our 'disgusting' conversation. We apologised for offending her & changed the subject to avoid further upset, but we both felt we shouldnt have to. I could understand if we had maybe dropped in a few 'offensive' words, but it was by no means a graphic conversation!

    I personally feel if we want to discuss our sex lives, we should be free to do this.

    i'm curious as to what are your views on this, and 'public' sex talk in general?

    xx

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    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
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    As long as it's not crude as in the words i.e. 'yeah we were fucking like bunnies all over the fucking place' in a fancy place, I don't see the issue. There are a fair few people out there that believe anything to do with sex, stays behind closed doors.. If y ou weren't talking loud, then I would assume the person asking you to quieten down has the issue.

    But saying that, I wouldn't go into a library or the ritz and talk about sex but that's just me, I am open to discussing it but yes, there is a certain time and place

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    naughtyrider [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't see anything wrong in talking about sexual things in a fancy restaurant or any other public place as long as you are being discreet...by that I mean talking softly and quietly. I have more of an issue with the woman who was listening in on your conversation.!!

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Sometimes it's just bitterness too. When I was younger, 15 or so, me and my partner sat in a Pizza Hut. We weren't all over each other, but I had my legs hooked over one of his and we were sat quite close. Just chatting, not kissing or touching each other excessively, just sitting close but because we were young we had a complaint from someone else eating there. Had I not been so young I'd have had the confidence to continue as we were rather than moving apart when we were asked to tone things down. There was nothing over the top, the people who complained were just bitter and I wish I'd had the confidence to say, no we're doing nothing wrong, if you have an issue then that's your problem.

    As mentioned, there's a time and a place, but if the restaurant was just an average restaurant then just because someone doesn't like your conversation shouldn't mean your forced to enjoy your night less by only talking about certain topics! People don't have to sit at the next table. There are plenty of people who annoy me in restaurants but that doesn't mean they're doing anything wrong and I'd never ask them to change their behaviour (unless they're shouting and swearing particularly loudly and imposing their conversation on to another group).

    Adx.

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    Dee_licious333 [sign in to see picture]
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    I probably wouldnt say anything unless it was pretty obvious it was causing offense not only to me but to others as well, usually you would get looks from other diners, staff.

    It also depends what type of restaurant it was and how close you are to the other tables.

    I guess you should try and consider others around you and your topics when you are dining out i.e a woman perhaps who has lost her husband, or perhaps someone who has a bad sexual experience. Some people have a lower tolerance I suppose.

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    MissKnki [sign in to see picture]
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    Really interesting to hear all your thoughts & opinions!

    Just to add a few points, we were in a very average restaurant...definitely not where you would go for a 5* dining experience :) I think the woman must have been ignoring any conversations at her table for her to hear what we were discussing. We could not hear what they were talking about unless we both stopped talking to each other & really listened.

    As I touched on, the most graphic the talk got was using the word 'sex'. If we were having a glass of wine in the house i'm sure it would have been a much raunchier chat! We were more discussing their relationship, but of course...sex plays a bit part in that so it's going to be mentioned.

    x

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    Noon [sign in to see picture]
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    You could have said "No need to worry, we were not actually talking about sex. We just use sex as a code word for terrorism. (or drugs, or anything shocking). Her face would have been a picture.

    Or better still, carry a Lovehoney card to give to people who are up tight. :)

    There are certainly times when it is inapropriate to talk about your sex life, but a mid-range restaurant with lots of ambient noise and doing so in a hushed tone seems fair to me. You could have complained to the waiter, that your conversation was being eves dropped on?

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    naughtyrider [sign in to see picture]
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    Personally I don't think it matters whether it was an average or fancy establishment, of course you have to consider the people around you but as long as you are not being loud or crude and not breaking any restaurant etiquette then the conversation at your table is your own and nothing to do with anybody else.

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    Hazy [sign in to see picture]
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    im generally open to talking about sex(actually anything) anywhere anytime. if there are kids about i am courteous enough to keep it clean, but as long as its not excessive/crude or really loud, i dont see why people shouldnt be able to talk about what they want, where they want. if you dont want to know whats going on, dont listen into someone elses conversation.

    on a side note, i was in a well known fast food place the other night and a woman was talking dirty REALLY loudly down the phone. both the casheir and myself heard everything she was saying, tried to keep straight faces, then as if by magic the lady in question looked up, remebered she was in a public place, muttered something down the phone, profusely appologised to those around her and stumbled off doing a sort of walk of shame. got afew laughs out of that. h x

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    Hazy [sign in to see picture]
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    Blueeyes82 wrote:

    But saying that, I wouldn't go into a library or the ritz and talk about sex but that's just me, I am open to discussing it but yes, there is a certain time and place

    im sure a fair amount of sex happens at the ritz ;) and as for libraries, i got told off once... for asking my friend to borrow her pencil. i dont think libraries like people who can speak (sorry any librarians out there) but yes you have a point that maybe there is a time and place.

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    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
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    LOL I've been banned from my local library, the lady didn't like my giggling. Not my fault the library had a funny book in! So a 3 month ban I got :(

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    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    ye, longs your not offencive or loud or in the presence of small children then all anyone offencive has to do is not listen.

    what i do hate however is bostfull teenage boys who have either never actualy done anything or shouldnt be geting any cos of their discousting attitudes towards females and descriptions of sex acts

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    Syd [sign in to see picture]
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    Funny old thing sex.

    We're all pre programmed biologically to want sex.

    Somewhere along the way religion made it "disgusting" or at least something to sweep under the carpet. A dirty secret.

    It really annoys me.

    Especially as you say you weren't even being graphic.

    Personally I find people discussing "Coronation Street" as though it were real, VERY annoying, but we all have to rub along together.

    Having said that, we are conditioned via religion, TV and films, to varying degrees to have an illogical attitude toward sex.

    Its a tricky one...

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