• Strap on Sex

    1337003294
    fun?fun?fun? [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 14 May 2012

    Hi everyone! i was wondering if anyone could help me? Im bisexual guy and have had plenty of fun with both girls and guys. I've been with my fiancee for a few years now and i would love her to use a strap on with me but she isnt very experimental! any ideas how i could get her to do it for me? i've hinted plenty of times but she always changes the subject?

    1337003884
    boobaloo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    maybe hinting isn't enough you might need to sit and actually talk about it, but be prepared for her to say no and if she does don't try and pressure her into it, just leave it, she might come round to the idea in her own time once you have directly asked the question and given her time to think about it, if not then unfortunately it is just something that you will have to live with, its not for everyone.

    But the best place to start is to talk about it

    1337004420
    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 9 Aug 2010

    Bring it up and mention anal play first before you mention full on strap on's. There are lots of toys that you could experiment with before asking your fiancee to use a strap on.

    I think she would have to get used to the idea which can take a while.

    Good Luck

    1337007309
    fun?fun?fun? [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 14 May 2012

    Thank you everyone, will have a chat with her and see where it goes :)

    1337007803
    The Mighty Rod? [sign in to see picture]
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    Here is the sneaky way I approached it with my wife.

    I simply said someone had put a funny link up on lovehoney and i thought it would make her laugh.

    Obviously i had already found a funny link showing pegging on a website, xhamster.com (the lass was dressed as batgirl), I said that looks like fun and the rest is history.

    A non embarrassing way to get talking about it.

    1337008242
    fun?fun?fun? [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    lol that sounds like a good way ti bring up the subject

    1337015550
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    my partner has got me to try so many things that i would have never enjoyed had i not let him pursuade me to keep trying them. im not sugesting forcing someon is a good method, it certainly isnt, but i am so glad i have been pursuaded to try new things.

    be patient, giv her opportunitis to try it but without pressuring her, explain why you lie it and help her to understand that its not dicousting/ weard/ nasty (whatever she thinks of it)

    in the case of strap on play i advise you find a toy that will alow her to enjoy physical stimulation from it. im still new to the idea and what i couldnt understand wat the point was- i mean, im not recieving any pleasure and its just going to be uncomfortable for you.

    what is going to be the most important thing here in pursuading her is Epathy. if you arent already, get her to enjoy being given anal sex. this might take a while but if she enjoys it she will be able to understand why you want her to use a strap on on you and she will want to share this feeling with you. if she isnt into being on the recieving end then introduce anal toys into play so that she can see you enjoying them and will understand that by giving you these sensations she will be pleasing you. vacarious enjoyment is key, afterall, its not like having sex where you both get pysical stimulation.

    the second thing i found was that i felt silly wearing a strap on. so i suggest starting with something small and not too realistic (unless the shemale look apeals to her) choose your toys together, compramise, find something that will alow simaltanious stimulation. tell her how good she looks with it on.

    you say she doesnt like talking about it: Try ask her what new things she would like to try. how about making a deal that you will try what she wants if she tries what you want. tell her its okay if she doesnt enjoy it and that if she doesnt you dont have to do it again but you would really like to give it a go and would really enjoy it. by leting her see that you are willing to try things you might not enjoyit will make it easier for her.

    hope this advice helps

    rd

    xx

    1337019961
    DraeneiShaman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 70
    • Joined: 30 Jan 2012

    I've been building my OH up to strap on sex. He loves butt plugs so it wasn't too hard convincing him. But bringing up the subject of anal isn’t always easy. Perhaps you should give her an enjoyable anal experience first.

    Keeping yourself clean up there is always a first, its probably the most off-putting thing if you're new to the experience and unsure. I started my OH off with fingers and using my dildos on him, so once she’s more comfortable with the idea you could ask her to use her fingers on you (with lots of lube ofc!).

    One thing I find hardest, though I thoroughly love playing with my OH’s arse is the detachment from me. Whilst I'm playing, and he's loving it, I'm not getting much attention or physical pleasure so it would be important to think about that.

    Good luck! DS

    1337020070
    kinkycop [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    • Joined: 28 Nov 2009

    You should ask one question? would the OH would like it or do it. if she changes the subject she may not like it!

    I would try small butt plugs and small dildos first before buying a strap on! Again the OH should be happy before hand!

    I would try Smoothy Anal Dildo Prober or some other butt plug or dildo first, if shes happy to use it on you!

    I am very open on topics, I would personally like to try the "Smoothy Anal Dildo Prober" LH was out of stock but due back in on the 10th of may! they in stock now I might grab one with my OH points and give it ago, then if I like it I get something bigger, I would possibly love to be pegged by a lady after that!

    if your OH is happy with a small dildo or butt plug, you could even try the "Butt Tingler Vibrating Butt Plug" does have to used in the bum, I sent someone one of this and they said the vibration made her cum! try & grab a toy which you both can use first! then slowly to dildos and strap-ons later on!

    1337033177
    kermy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 4 Feb 2012

    start with her finger then expand onto toys and dildos before leaping into the strap on !!!!

    ive had a gf that would do anything other than a strap on ....then the last two have had no problems using one !!!!!! ;-))

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