• Is donating sperm wrong?

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    Hellkat [sign in to see picture]
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    My husband and I have a child and are hoping for more in the future but if for some reason that was no longer possible without egg or sperm donation then there would be a few issues
    Firstly be it right or wrong that baby would be ours I would be its mother and hubby would be the father regardless of DNA why would we tarnish our child's relationship with one of us by informing them they are not our blood, that can be extremely hard for a child to hear at any age and it's not an easy fact to live with

    Secondly I would hate for a child not to think they are not as important as our son because he has both our DNA

    I know people may think these points are selfish but I know from experience the pain and heart ache this can cause to the child as well as the whole family

    I think donating is a wonderful thing being able to help others create a family is amazing I just don't think I could live with telling a child his or her mummy or daddy isn't really there parent

    Hope that makes sence

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    Well it is a good idea if the male is thinking of the snip right now but later on he wants to have another child with the same partner or perhaps a new one

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    ShaftMaster [sign in to see picture]
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    lickmadick wrote:

    Well it is a good idea if the male is thinking of the snip right now but later on he wants to have another child with the same partner or perhaps a new one

    Sperm donation and storage, which you just described, are different things. Donation is when you give your sperm to another couple.

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    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Gunther: I know very well about the mendelian ratios. But did not want to go into details, plus I had to run to work. Just wanted to point out that genetics are not as easy, as it was presented. Saying if eg. ears are different from your parents, that someone else was involved was erhm... Completely wrong. 2 brown eyed, brown haired people can easily have blond blue eyed child.

    Genetic studies are part of my training. I do not know like real details, but I know a lot about DNA, mtDNA or chromozone Y DNA.

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    Lady.Gasm.X [sign in to see picture]
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    It's 50/50 for me... personally if I was a man I wouldn't simply because I wouldn't be able to not have contact with my own flesh and blood. Although for the couples out there who are unable to conceive, donating sperm is a great idea. As long as the man is happy about it and doesn't have any contact with the family or potential babies; that could make things very messy and complicated. This is my own opinion but to be honest I think the answer depends entirely on the circumstances.

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    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    in the old days...i first read about sperm donation when i was about 11 in 1971 the idea was that a couple who couldnt conceive naturally could be helped by an annonymous donor, the couple have a baby and get on with their lives raising their offspring. Now everyone talks freely about everything which has produced zero improvement. The child of donated sperm somehow doesnt ever become the child of the man who raised him/her from birth because of "rights issues". I think we are moving forward on rights and backwards on everything of value.


    you have seriously misquoted the law several times in this thread and do not seem to listen to anyone who has given you information to the contrary in favour of being one of the "anti pc brigade"

    but i'll say it again

    the donor has NO rights AT ALL to the child

    the "father" is the man married to or living as a couple with the woman who used donor sperm. that person has all the legal rights a parent does, it IS his child and is alway seen as HIS CHILD in the eyes of the law, and most likley society.

    there is no "rights issues" regarding someone who has donated- it's like saying i have rights to govern the lives of people i've donated blood to cause they have some of my biologial products in them

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    ShaftMaster [sign in to see picture]
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    In terms of rights, hasn' t it changed so that the donor still has no right to contact the child, but the child has the right to contact the donor?

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    abacus [sign in to see picture]
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    i would love to donate i have 6 amazing kids which also include 2 sets of twins all blond hair blue eyes 3 girls 3 boys i will deffo try get round to it soon as would love to help other people :)

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    Lady.Gasm.X [sign in to see picture]
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    Blueeyes82 wrote:

    I call my kid's dad a sperm donor, idiot that he is :p Atleast those donating sperm are doing it because they want to, better than people sleeping about and not willing to take responsibility iykwim

    Great point!

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    sweetlove666 wrote:

    you have seriously misquoted the law several times in this thread and do not seem to listen to anyone who has given you information to the contrary in favour of being one of the "anti pc brigade"

    but i'll say it again

    the donor has NO rights AT ALL to the child

    the "father" is the man married to or living as a couple with the woman who used donor sperm. that person has all the legal rights a parent does, it IS his child and is alway seen as HIS CHILD in the eyes of the law, and most likley society.

    there is no "rights issues" regarding someone who has donated- it's like saying i have rights to govern the lives of people i've donated blood to cause they have some of my biologial products in them

    Sweetlove

    Hellcat put it better than I could. What I mean is the rights of a child to be "informed" can undermine the rights of a child and its family to a happy life. The right of the child to contact the donor has just resulted in potential donors who dont want to be contacted in future not being donors. A pyrric victory if ever there was one.

    If an ambitious young man makes a donation he could succeed in his career then be contacted by a basket case youth whos parents screwed up with his upbringing, an upbringing over which the donor has, quite properly no influence at all. In that scenario only a fool would donate.

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    Laveila wrote:

    Gunther: I know very well about the mendelian ratios.

    Lavelia

    Quite obviously you do, I was trying to be complimentary to your obvious knowledge. Sorry if you took it the wrong way.

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    Janny [sign in to see picture]
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    Some very interesting points here, this could make an hour on 5 Live or something on TV. I like this forum.

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    Janny wrote:

    Some very interesting points here, this could make an hour on 5 Live or something on TV. I like this forum.

    Too late Janny there already was a proramme on 5 live a couple of yrs ago.

    Its a bit like the abortion issue, very opposite viewpoints most of which are valid.

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    Aphrodite2011 [sign in to see picture]
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    No i don't think it is wrong to donate sperm as the gift of a baby is wonderful and it must be heartbreaking to want a baby but the husband can't provide. If he was married or has a partner though, i feel that he should only donate if his girlfriend or wife is 100% happy about it. I would be annoyed and emotionally upset if my partner became a sperm donor . Not that he wants to anyway.

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    elliex [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it's great that there are people out there who want to help others have a baby who can't conceive naturally for various reasons. I think it takes a certain kind of person though, I don't think it's something that everyone could handle. Like, I couldn't do it personally because I know I'd be constantly thinking about whether my donated eggs gave someone a boy or a girl, if they were happy, what they looked like, what lifestyle they had, etc.

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    Janny [sign in to see picture]
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    And I'm not sure if this is true, but at 18, would the child, if they wanted to, have a right to know who their biological father was? Been watching Long lost Family on ITV, but have not read up on the rules.

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    RobotDevil [sign in to see picture]
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    Hellkat wrote:

    I think donating is a wonderful thing being able to help others create a family is amazing I just don't think I could live with telling a child his or her mummy or daddy isn't really there parent

    Hope that makes sence

    I don't agree. I know a few people who have been adopted but they always knews from when they where tiny. If a child knows from a very early age that they are special because some one helped mummy and daddy (either by adoption or donations) it does no harm to the child as socially generated preconceptions of what a "family" is haven't been embedded into their mind.

    I have thought of donating sperm but not since the law change.
    I dont my younger children asking, "why is there a man/woman at the door saying you are their daddy?"

    I think it was a very selfish law.

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    RobotDevil wrote:I have thought of donating sperm but not since the law change.
    I dont my younger children asking, "why is there a man/woman at the door saying you are their daddy?"

    I think it was a very selfish law.

    That would never happen, at 18 a child can contact the donor but I think it is through a medium not some agency handing over contact details of the donor without permission.

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    ShaftMaster [sign in to see picture]
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    RobotDevil wrote:

    I know a few people who have been adopted but they always knews from when they where tiny. If a child knows from a very early age that they are special because some one helped mummy and daddy (either by adoption or donations) it does no harm to the child as socially generated preconceptions of what a "family" is haven't been embedded into their mind.

    Sounds like a wise idea to me.

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    angelkez [sign in to see picture]
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    I think sperm donation is an amazing thing that can really help couples who need assistance and i would be really proud of my husband if he wanted to donate.. however only after we have had our own children as at the moment we have been trying for some time and i really wouldn't want the idea of someone else having a child with his DNA before i could provide one for him.

    on the subject of future children turning up i think it is only natural to be curious but i think most children think of their parents as the people who raise them and love them and as a wife i wouldn't be concerned in the slightest

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