• Subs: What do you like

    1335898895
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    See to me, thats a big problem. My safeword is always agreed as a full stop. Even if I've agreed to pushing limits etc, But I almost never use my safeword, but I have it there for when I really really need it.

    If it then was ignored, my trust would disintergrate pretty fast - and I just wouldnt play. At the end of the day Safewords are there and those I play with agree to honour them if they're used. If they dont agree to that I won't play.

    Just my thoughts really.

    1335899496
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    MsEllie wrote:

    If it then was ignored, my trust would disintergrate pretty fast - and I just wouldnt play.

    i agree whith you there Ms Ellie. i dont really have an offical safeword but usualy Master will tell me before play starts what to do if i need to stop or else he is pritty good at looking at me and knowing when im not so into it aney more. when he takes a while to notice though or if he was to ever ignor the safe word he has given me i wont want to play for a while and will be pritty upset. after all its all a game of trust, with prity high stakes for all involved if that trust is lost or violate.

    just my personal thought and opinions

    anyways, were going a little off track here; not that i dont love reading what you all have to say :)

    1335903327
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    rag doll wrote:

    anyways, were going a little off track here; not that i dont love reading what you all have to say :)

    Very True!

    Right: Back on topic - Stuff I like:

    Leather Cuffs & my leather choker (My Gods it smells beautiful. I don't feel "Properly Dressed" without them.)

    Rope Bondage. Hell it doesnt have to be pretty. It doesnt even have to be perfectly secure. Just strip me down and wrap me in rope and I am the happiest bunny in the world.

    Floggers, Belts, spankers, - as a note I discovered my leather collar unrolled makes hell of a single-tail - even the sounds right!). Master I know has a 9-tails waiting for me. You should see my grin.

    I like toys. I like being set up with x-y-z buzzing away and Master then attempting to hold a civilized conversation with me to see how long it takes for me to lose all control of words.

    Clothespegs. OH my goodness I think I'm in love. My toybox now has hundreds of the damn things in.

    I like the marks that are left - I'm a very visual person, so being able to peer in the mirror at my whip-bruised-ass makes me very happy.

    What else do I like? UmmmmMMmmm

    Ball-gags, Corsetry, HIGH HEELS (omg I can't walk in them but I'm such a shoe perv I just love standing and posing in them),

    I like erotic photography although I havent had the confidence for it. I suspect next time master and I get together I won't have much option, He's insisting I bring my proffessional camera with me >.<

    Blindfolds are fun.

    Theres also a fair amount of entertainment gleaned from remote control toys when I'm not holding the remote.

    I think I covered my rules elsewhere :)

    1335911958

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    Ms HKM wrote:

    It's perfectly okay to have a vanilla relationship and a leather sex life.

    Those euphoric feelings are easily simulated again. Pain is in the mind (or so they say) and you could have these thesholds explored with the right partner. As long as you can trust them and you feel confident that they have your welfare in the forefront of the mind. You can still express your hard limits and should these be violated then you have the right to call time. For example. You're wanting to explore edge play - fear, pain and endurance. You consent to being beaten but your hard limit is penetrative play/sex. You may scream your safe word at being physically/mentally hurt from the beating and the Top will most likely ignore it - as it was consented. If she penetrates you (e.g. fisting is often used for edge play) and your safe word is ignored - that's assualt/rape. See the difference?

    Communication is key. It's wise to have a third party with you and someone with some first aid. Discuss your aftercare needs at length!! Don't be shy in saying what you need - and if you are - don't play!!! Your top will be misinformed

    HMK thaks for taking the time I will think about it and get back to you...busy stuck in an airport at the moment

    1335912837
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    Same Miss Ellie!

    i love leather cuffs and restraints :) i can spend hours on the internet looking at ones i want Master to buy me (i mean, i would buy them myself but then they wouldnt count) where i always wear these improvised leather cuffs me and Master found, my wrists feel naked when i have to take them off. as for my collar, Masrter got me a beatiful metal one with a detachable O-ring at the front and a cut out letter "M" at the back. unfortunately, as its rather bold i dont get to wear it all to often. i love it though when i do wear it and Master tugs on the ring and pulls me forward to kiss me. i get rediculessly excited over such a small action.

    i also agree with You about just how exciting rope bondage is. its also really beauitiful when done well. when i get my owne plase i think i might have to get some shots of it done well to hang on my walls. it feels so amazing being all tied up and sort of like a hug too. i call the rope burns i get on my wrists love bracelets (bit like love bites)

    as for a good spanking i find it rediculessly relaxing (as well as arousing) if im allowed to scream and be noisy. i just love the marks my cane leavs on my bum. i hate it when they go aways which makes me crave a harder beating.

    MsEllie wrote:

    I like the marks that are left - I'm a very visual person, so being able to peer in the mirror at my whip-bruised-ass makes me very happy.

    i definately agre.

    MsEllie wrote:

    I like toys. I like being set up with x-y-z buzzing away and Master then attempting to hold a civilized conversation with me to see how long it takes for me to lose all control of words.

    now that ^ sounds fun MisEllie. i might have to get Master to do that to me. im sure he would love to, afterall, he once made me answer the phone to mum while we were having sex. it felt very naughty.

    i might try and make myself one of those gobstopper gags as iv seen gint Gobstopper lollies in a local shop

    ohand i too would love a chance to take some errotic photoes. i have all these ideas in my hed but no camra :(

    1335931827

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    Personally I take exception to young women (i.e. under 18) being advised in the ways of being a submissive, my daughter fell in with a group of freaks ( and I use the term advisedly) who "educated" her. She thought she was being introduced to a new world and experience while actually they were encouraging her to :-

    a empty my bank account

    b be photographed in BDSM gear and those photos being posted on the net while still under 18.

    when the money ran out she was packed off home to us in a confused state at the age of 17

    I define a freak as a woman who gives a 16 yr old girl a picture of herself with hooks through her boobs blood running down her chest and tells her what a liberating experience it is to be "pulled"

    1335935054

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    Ms HKM wrote:

    It's perfectly okay to have a vanilla relationship and a leather sex life.

    I do not have a vanilla relationship I have a marriage.

    Those euphoric feelings are easily simulated again.

    Yes if I want my hip dislocated and turned 180 degrees it would be easy, followed by a few hours moving both hips at various times in order to find out if my pelvis is shattered by x ray.

    Pain is in the mind (or so they say) and you could have these thesholds explored with the right partner. As long as you can trust them and you feel confident that they have your welfare in the forefront of the mind.

    My thresholds were explored by a consultant surgeon and half a dozen nurses, I was still scared and they wern't sure they wouldnt have to amputate.

    You can still express your hard limits and should these be violated then you have the right to call time. For example. You're wanting to explore edge play - fear, pain and endurance. You consent to being beaten but your hard limit is penetrative play/sex.

    If I had been penetrated at the time I certainly wouldnt have felt it, I could see myself wetting myself but didnt feel it, I could see the surgeon examine me but didnt feel it, I think you only play with pain on a low level.

    You may scream your safe word at being physically/mentally hurt from the beating and the Top will most likely ignore it - as it was consented. If she penetrates you (e.g. fisting is often used for edge play) and your safe word is ignored - that's assualt/rape. See the difference?

    The only "she" in my life is my wife I think I can trust her not to start fisting me without consent, it is one of the unsaid beauties of marriage.

    Communication is key. It's wise to have a third party with you and someone with some first aid. Discuss your aftercare needs at length!! Don't be shy in saying what you need - and if you are - don't play!!! Your top will be misinformed

    I neither have or want a "top" I dont know what a "top" is, I dont need to tell my wife what I need most of the time she looks in my eyes and listens, it is a reciprocal agreement, at which I have sadly failed recently.

    I am not chasing a kink, what happened to me was years ago and still I find it hard to comprehend I am just trying to figure it out, certainly not repeat it. My threshold of pain is now so high I dont challenge it, it would be positively dangerous.

    1335954925
    Ms HKM [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle - my post about ignoring the safeword (the one you replied to) was a follow on from the previous post about consensual non-consent and the guy I used as an example.. and how that dynamic works. I didn't mean all play sessions ignore the safeword LOL! Eek!

    MsEllie - My personal opinion is to never ever play without a safeword and as a Top/Domme, I'd never carry on after it's said. It goes two ways though - what about the times [if] you're unable to say your safeword? You'd trust your top to know when you're in trouble. Which is another reason why I don't understand those that play with strangers? I don't just mean when wearing a gag etc. I mean, mentally unable to.

    Gunther - I think I may have misread your post - you said you "frequently fantasise about repeating the experience"... Not dislocating your hip but there are other ways of reaching that euphoric feeling! It's a wonderful thing what you and your wife have - she sees what you need. N'awwww

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    Ms HKM wrote:

    unable to.

    Gunther - I think I may have misread your post - you said you "frequently fantasise about repeating the experience"... Not dislocating your hip but there are other ways of reaching that euphoric feeling! It's a wonderful thing what you and your wife have - she sees what you need. N'awwww

    HMK what I said was

    quote

    I frequently fantasise about repeating the experience, if it is possible and then think if it was, would be advisable.

    unquote

    To take a phrase out of a sentence runs close to a misquote, as I said I am putting the whole thing together, personally I dont think it is possible to re create and if it was it may be very dangerous, I have the heart of a 52 year old not a 17year old fitness freak. and at the time I was single. Violence of any kind plays no part in our relationship, and I wouldnt dream of introducing it. She couldnt hit me and if she ever did she would consider she is giving license to hit her which is an absolute no no,

    I persoanlly rail at expressions like vanilla, top, bottom, master, slave, sub and domme because they are not definite. Even on this thread, the meaning of a "safe word" surely the most important of all things to be defined is not crystal clear.

    I dont know what this means "she sees what you need. N'awwww" but she certainly saw what I needed today, the courrier has it in hand at the moment, much better an efficient company secretary than a domme in my book.

    1335973978
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    Gunther, be carefull what you are saying it (you have the right to say it) just sometimes it can come across as somewhat judgemental. the main reason why these things are not definate is because every relationship is different. take the example of religion and the bible, everyone who beleivs in it believs something slightly different and that is with something that has something concidered as standard to go by.

    i admit that not all people in the scene are nice or sensible and your daughters experience sounds aweful but not everyone in the would is nice anyway and you shouldnt tar everyone who is into BDSM with the same brush as the people who your daughter got in with.

    also, calling what a lot of us on this thread (and in the scene) like "Violent" is another one of those very comon misconceptions. i agree that from an outsiders perspective it might look that way but we do the things we like because well...we enjoy it. if my Partner hit me outside of play i would count that as violence but the same action can, in a way that is very dificult to explain, be an expression of love. i let him because a: it feels good and b: its a suign my loyalty and love to him as he is the only person i would alow to do it me. he does it because he knows i enjoy it and he respects the fact that he is lucky to be allowed to.

    i hope you understand what i am saying and dont feel like this is an attack.

    1335992697

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    rag doll wrote:

    Gunther, be carefull what you are saying it (you have the right to say it) just sometimes it can come across as somewhat judgemental. the main reason why these things are not definate is because every relationship is different. take the example of religion and the bible, everyone who beleivs in it believs something slightly different and that is with something that has something concidered as standard to go by.

    i admit that not all people in the scene are nice or sensible and your daughters experience sounds aweful but not everyone in the would is nice anyway and you shouldnt tar everyone who is into BDSM with the same brush as the people who your daughter got in with.

    also, calling what a lot of us on this thread (and in the scene) like "Violent" is another one of those very comon misconceptions. i agree that from an outsiders perspective it might look that way but we do the things we like because well...we enjoy it. if my Partner hit me outside of play i would count that as violence but the same action can, in a way that is very dificult to explain, be an expression of love. i let him because a: it feels good and b: its a suign my loyalty and love to him as he is the only person i would alow to do it me. he does it because he knows i enjoy it and he respects the fact that he is lucky to be allowed to.

    i hope you understand what i am saying and dont feel like this is an attack.

    HMK I do not beat about the bush with respect to violence. I saw my father beat my mother she didnt enjoy the experience, my wife was physically abused by her brother, there is nop way I would ever hit her even in play, it just isnt play when you have had it for real, There is no way she would hit me because firstly she doesnt have a violent cell in her body and as I said she wouldnt give me license.

    The warpo who twisted my daughters mind was hoist by his own petard, He taught her to be comfortable with

    " RAPE" scenes, you have used the word yourself. He got decidedly sniffy when she was so comfortable with these rape scenes that she told everyone he had raped her. It shut the silly B*stards buisiness down.

    Rape scenes

    "breath play"AKA strangling

    play piercing

    play hitting

    it is "play" everything because that is attractive to teenage girls "play"

    when it comes to hitting women I am judgemental...no apology, I spent years watching my mother shake in fear till I was big enough to clock the sod and stop him I was involved with a youth centre my daughter attended I have seen the detritus this "scene" throws out into the world.

    I would prefer t sort this out off line but I think you are permanently invisible.

    1335995268
    kinkycop [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't mind what people get up too, as long the both willing want to do it!

    Yes I am in a begining like dom/bondage etc, but like to take it slow first!!

    I remember being told I used to tie myself up ect when I was 8, yes remember some of it!

    But as to rape scenes etc, my emotion skills are unless, so its very hard for me to judge whats real & what isn't and takes longer for me to workout whats going on in the scenes!

    I also laugh when I am in trouble & being told off! I am attracted to angry women! I don't why? strange!

    But I would like to try BDSM, But aslong as we both willing want to do it! and both parties can back out of it they can't do it any longer!

    Yes many peoples judgement on BDSM is bad & society too, but its the "unknown factor of it" people are fearful of... like the news say loners are bad people? yes there 100,000's of loners but not all of them are bad? people are fearful of them because they shy and don't speak, the only thing the did was not to speak, for them to be labled as bad.....?

    But it don't bother me, I hope this makes be a better person of accepting then others!

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    bothers me when a 17 yr old calls me judgemental I have spent 4 yrs sorting out the shit that was left by my daughters Master.........master in his dungeon and complete tosser everywhere else.

    1335996507
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    i can definately understand why you feel the way you do gunther. you sound verry respectfull to your wife and im sorry you have experienced so many tough things in your life. BDSM isnt all about hitting eachother though it isnt necesaraly all about pain, the things you describe your daughter getting into are the more extream side of things. lots of people are into much lighter tings such as tempretur play. tickerlers and ise and wax that is specialy designed to burn at cooler tempreturs are not dangerous, you must admit that. havent we all played at dipping our fingers in ordinary candle wax as kids, seen how long we can hold an icecube in our mouth and tickled our friends with a feather?

    it is unfortunate that you have only experienced the darker side of BDSM. people in the "Scene arent hell bent on turning people and most of these relationships are incredably loving and equal. dominant and submisive roles are out of choice and technicly just eleberate games. yes, these games can sometimes get to our head but so can films, computer games and wanting to be populer or beauitiful. also, it isnt all aimed at young girls. males can be subs, old people can be kinky. most like the thinks they like either because they have, for want of a better word, always been that way (ever since i was young i have enjoyed holding onto electric fences) or else have been introduced to it by friends or partners but the choise was ultimately theirs in those cases. for example, my partner, very early on in our relationship sugested tiying me up. he took a masive risk in asking, i could have totaly freaked, but i didnt. it somehow appealed to me and im very glad i made that leap.

    i definately agree with you Alwayssingle that as long as both are willing then there is nothing wrong with it and that its the fear of the unknown that scares people. vanila relationships and sex can be just as damagin if they are not safe sane and concentual.

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    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    im sorry Gunthrer. im acctualy somewhat dyslexic which doesnt help my spelling. no body is saying im wonderfull or that my parents dont respect me as an adult. i dont claim to know everything about BDSM. as it is, im pritty new to it muyself. i was only giving my opinions and trying to explain how i see things. i dont expect everyone to understand my lifetyle choices but by talking about it with them i hope to combat misconceptions which cause argument and disagreement.

    i am sorry if i offended you.

    1335998070
    kinkycop [sign in to see picture]
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    I respect everyone choices!

    same for anal sex, theres the good and theres the bad.

    yes may be rag doll is 17? so everyone has to start somewhere.... I bet when she get to 21 she have 4 years experience in the game and be alot more respectful!

    start young is better! I started riding a moped at 16 now I am 21 with a full license which I did at 17 and 5 years no claims coming up! I get good deals on the insurance, because I've shown I am a good rider!

    don't worry Rag doll I am dyslexic too!

    1335998443
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    alwayssingle:( wrote:

    I respect everyone choices!

    same for anal sex, theres the good and theres the bad.

    yes may be rag doll is 17? so everyone has to start somewhere.... I bet when she get to 21 she have 4 years experience in the game and be alot more respectful!

    thank you always single :) you are very respectfull of everyones choices. i admire that. i admit that sometimes i can come across as if im challanging people, but i dont mean to. we all get defencive when we feel that someone has challanged something we feel strongly about. im also very willing to learn from what people have to say. just tell me if you think im nor being respectfull or if my terrible english skills make something not make sence.

    1335999047
    kinkycop [sign in to see picture]
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    thats fine, this is what the forum here for! not eveyone is going to agree on the samething, if everyone did how boring that be...!

    english skills to me don't matter much, aslong I know your safe and enjoying yourself under the covers and respecting your partner and your love is from your heart then its fine with me!

    yes gunther I can understand were you coming from, But I would never never hit a women or hurt her in anyway, yes if she realy wants to be a slave then let her! if they both like it fine!

    maybe her age 17, calling herself a slave, so how olds the boyfriend? if they of similar age then leave them to it! as aslong they both truly love each other!

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