• Subs: What do you like

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    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry, just re-read that first line, i mean, indeed i do know what you mean. i dont have online friends yet. sorry if i was confusing

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    cheese on toast with mustard

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    cheese on toast with mustard

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    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    lickmadick wrote:

    cheese on toast with mustard

    i bliev you meant to post this on the sandwedge version :)

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    Ms HKM wrote:

    Gunther - simply, being submissive doesn't mean you lose the right to preferences. A true dom gets enjoyment in seeing his/her submissive experiencing pleasure/pain (if maso). And simply, if a sub doesn't like one Dom's game, then they can go play anothers.

    HKM what intrigues and sometimes amuses me is how bound up the whole thing is with rules (who wrote these rules) if a sub can ever say "no I am going down the pub" it is just an elaborate game. Once I was involved in an accident and suffered extreme pain in the presence of several females, I eventually had to mentally shut down parts of my brain to cut the pain out to do this I conentrated on the female nurse who was holding my hand her voice and touch. Eventually I had a euphoric feeling of floating and feeling a female presence surrounding me. I frequently fantasise about repeating the experience, if it is possible and then think if it was, would be advisable.

    I have had these fantasies since before I ever heard of BDSM or domination subs and doms or tops and bottoms it is not something I have become interested in through reading about either, it comes from in me. The whole thing is you cannot say no, or use a safe word you must escape in your mind. I am trying to sort out and write down my experiences related to pain, mainly for my own benefit a type of self councilling if you like because I did develop an unhealthy obsession with tolerating pain and danger, I may post it later.

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    MsEllie wrote:

    Does that make sense or am I waffling?

    Yes Ellie it does sort of make sense, my problems with understanding it come from first my own mentality I cannot imagine it in a relationship just as a few days bit of fun, second I have never had a relationship with any woman who thinks like that and third I find it hard to imagine how it works long term, like 30/40 yrs.

    Thanks for taking the time...sorry I missed it

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    Okay first of all - there is a huge difference between being a submissive and being a slave. One can, of course be both. I am a submissive and a slave living in an M/s setting.

    Ultimately, the difference between D/s and M/s for us is "He says, I do". I therefore, wouldn't ever say "no I am going down the pub" as an example stolen from gunther there - if he didn't want me to. I ask his permission to do things.

    I wear a day collar 24/7 (inc showering, sleeping - everything). It is beautiful silver and red chainmaille style. During play I also have a red play collar that is worn in addition.

    I view my position of slavery to my Master as me being his property. I am his. As such I do my best to be a good representation of him and would not harm myself as I have done in the past (before we were together) as I would not damage his property.

    Re safewords. In any play with others I use them (though I haven't ever needed to yet). Master and I have never used safewords - he can look at me through floods of tears and know I'm fine and equally look me in the eye when others would presume I'm okay and he'll know to call a scene.

    Finally, of course the sub's likes and dislikes matter - to draw a comparison (and no, subs aren't dogs - well unless they kink for puppy play perhaps) - you reward a dog you're training with the things it likes - belly rubs, a run around the park, treats etc - and punish it according to whether it has been good or bad. A sub isn't a million miles from that imo; if I am good I will get thuddy pain, waxplay, hair pulling, growling - all things I love. If I've been bad, Master will pick all the stingy toys and show no mercy in their use!

    And don't get me started on subspace - I could talk for days <3

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    NymphetamineKiss wrote:

    Okay first of all - there is a huge difference between being a submissive and being a slave. One can, of course be both. I am a submissive and a slave living in an M/s setting.

    And don't get me started on subspace - I could talk for days <3

    Where is all this defined?

    No idea what subspace is I dont think I will google it lol.

    I know the significance of the capital M and lower case s, but that amuses me it breakes the rules of English.

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    Re definitions - I couldn't really tell you, but then being in "the scene" for the last 3+ years of my life it's hard to pin down where the knowledge I have now originated... But submissive is a role, a preference, a kinky 'orientation' for some... To identify as a slave (not for eveyone, but normally) implies a much bigger, more constant form of power exchange.

    Subspace - not as scary as it may sound. Actually probably my single favourite experience of my life - the point where a submissive in a scene ends up in a particular headspace. It's often "floaty" and the sub may seem "out of it" - I compare it to when I was on morphine in hospital. In BDSM it's really important to look after a sub who is in subspace, and any good Dominant should know the sub may not be able to give true consent during this time. Still saying that, like I say, it's honestly amazing. I love the feeling, though it normally takes me a long time to get there. Most subs I know get there through a beating - at some point the endorphins and adrenaline create the high. I've experienced what I felt was mini-subspace through wax play too though.

    M/s - well, yes I suppose it does. But trust me, there's much worse on the scene. At least I reject the "subs shouldn't capitalise "I", they should refer to their Dominant with caps at all times (eg - "He did this and i said x then He did y") and the "slashy speak" - such as "Hello how are Y/you all today?" - aimed at being reverential and correct for both Dominants and submissives - but dear god it makes my eyes bleed ><)

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    Nymphetamine

    Thanks that is the single most informative post I have read here.

    Re definitions - I couldn't really tell you, but then being in "the scene" for the last 3+ years of my life it's hard to pin down where the knowledge I have now originated... But submissive is a role, a preference, a kinky 'orientation' for some... To identify as a slave (not for eveyone, but normally) implies a much bigger, more constant form of power exchange.

    Now I understand there is a difference between "submissive" the dictionary definition and "a submissive" someone in the role defined by the scene.

    You posted this at 3.05

    Subspace - not as scary as it may sound. Actually probably my single favourite experience of my life - the point where a submissive in a scene ends up in a particular headspace. It's often "floaty" and the sub may seem "out of it" - I compare it to when I was on morphine in hospital. In BDSM it's really important to look after a sub who is in subspace, and any good Dominant should know the sub may not be able to give true consent during this time. Still saying that, like I say, it's honestly amazing. I love the feeling, though it normally takes me a long time to get there. Most subs I know get there through a beating - at some point the endorphins and adrenaline create the high. I've experienced what I felt was mini-subspace through wax play too though.

    And I had posted this only 2 hrs 30 mins before

    Once I was involved in an accident and suffered extreme pain in the presence of several females, I eventually had to mentally shut down parts of my brain to cut the pain out to do this I conentrated on the female nurse who was holding my hand her voice and touch. Eventually I had a euphoric feeling of floating and feeling a female presence surrounding me. I frequently fantasise about repeating the experience, if it is possible and then think if it was, would be advisable.

    It seems I have been in subspace for almost a whole day, I smashed a bike into a car and dislocated my hip (almost ripped the leg clean off) at the start it was excrutiatingly painful but by the time I was in the ambulance I was drifting away and was unconcious by the time we arrived. I spent the whole day alternating between experiencing pain I couldnt believe possible and romantic euphoric floating feelings, no drugs were used but I have had a pre med in hospital which is morphine or opiate based . very similar sensations. I have thought about it for years and would love the sensation again but my method was a bit extreme.

    M/s - well, yes I suppose it does. But trust me, there's much worse on the scene. At least I reject the "subs shouldn't capitalise "I", they should refer to their Dominant with caps at all times (eg - "He did this and i said x then He did y") and the "slashy speak" - such as "Hello how are Y/you all today?" - aimed at being reverential and correct for both Dominants and submissives - but dear god it makes my eyes bleed ><)

    Makes my eyes bleed too, I sometimes wonder if they ever do it at work and tell everybody who knows about it their tastes in the bedroom lol

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    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    slash speat i cant handle, its just to distracting to the eye to read. talking to my Master mainly on skpe i find capitalising a realy good rule. as iv told MS KHM i never spell my name Rag Doll, always rag doll and Master could never be selt with an "m" i never use it when talking to anyone else but i like it when talking to Master. Just sort of emphasises my plase as a sub and, Him being master means i belong and am valued therefo,r i like the emphasis it gives. it is also a sign of respect, equaly to me as him.

    im not perfect yet at keeping it up and so Master often has to give me a telling off. i like the effot it takes and when i fing myself trying to do it in normal writing.

    1335547635
    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    Ms HKM: i just noticed you are wanting a Wartenburg wheel. they sell a prity decent one on ebay for under £5 (mine arrived fairly quickly i seem to remember and has a red handel. squeeks a tiny bit but it,s good quality)

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    Loving all the responses here. I don't have a great deal of time to write what I'd like right now but may well do when I return on Monday (going camping for some ungodly reason).

    rag doll - I hope to catch you on chat - or we'll figure something out, to swap emails with you. Good for chats etc. :)

    Gunther - the 'rules', if you like, are more like 'norms'. They've evolved over time and people take from them what they feel is important to them. Ultimately it differs in every relationship and domination and submission respectively have their own traits. What you experienced after your crash is very probably some kind of head space. Remembering that Tops/Dom(me)s also experience a headspace (subspace) of euphoric feelings. Like adrenaline - there is often a 'come down'. Which is where aftercare comes in.

    Not all people live the lifestyle full time. For instance, I live a very ordinary life in a vanilla relationship. We live together, visit the inlaws, go to the cinema but I/he/we would NEVER ask permission in any context for anything. We are seperate people with our own interests. But in the bedroom we take our roles (being switch) very seriously. The devotion for 24/7 D/s dynamics is something to be admired though (claps for NKiss).

    Regarding safewords. There's a divide amongst kinksters. I'm SSC - safe sane and consensual. Meaning, I only do things that are safe, of sane mind and we CONSENT. Therefore I wouldn't do breathe play. For us, it's not a sane thing to do (y'know strangle someone). Others are RACK - risk aware consensual kink - meaning your know the risks but you're gonna do it anyway. If I was RACK then I WOULD indulge in breath play. You're accepting the risk. Within these are consensual non-consent. Often used in rape scenes. But with trusted persons you can put yourself in their care and trust they'll take things to an often not predetermined level of fear, pain, endurance regardless of safeword usage. Confusing, huh?

    We all have the right to safewords and we hope we don't need them. As a slave, you give up your right to preference. You will do anything master asks of you. You give up your hard limits. not your right to be safe.

    Disclaimer - I use everything as an example. Breath play etc. I have no problem with any kinks/fetishes. FYI.

    Gunther - an aquaintence of mine wanted to be pushed beyond his limits of pain. It was arranged. Safewords were rendered useless but the Top was RACK. She knew the dangers and what to do if things were taken too far. He was practically beaten to a pulp. He vomited with pain, almost passed out. He has scars. He bled like fuck. Screamed his safeword but it was ignored. But yet he says it was the best scene he's ever done.

    P.S. For those who don't agree with the above beating, whilst your opinion is free, I shan't be defending this practice.

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    loving your informative responces Ms HKM. have fun camping (i love camping. met my partner whilst hyking in wails infact)

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    thanks HMK will get back on this

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    Sub

    I am a sub and my dom likes to travel. When my dom visits Germany I must make all arrangements, do all the translation and provide all transport as well as pay for everything, if she is happy at all times then she may reward me with a smile or sometimes her favours.

    Dom

    I am a dom and I love to control my sub. When she comes here she has no money doesnt know where she is and cant speak the language I love having complete control of her life and she likes being controlled. If she doesnt satisfy my every need in the bedroom she gets isolated and humiliated.

    Switch

    Sometimes we switch between domination and submissive I teach her words and show her where to go while she sometimes cooks a meal

    Husband

    I like my wife and having a good time

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    Ms HKM [sign in to see picture]
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    Interesting insight Gunther. More than outlines how everyone is different.

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    Ms HKM wrote:

    Interesting insight Gunther. More than outlines how everyone is different.

    HMK I just took a normal situation between us and then twisted it to its limit, there is a feeling of power vulnerability control etc......but its all part of a holiday experience. We switched when we went to berlin, she decided everywhere we went lol

    From you previous post

    Gunther - an aquaintence of mine wanted to be pushed beyond his limits of pain. It was arranged. Safewords were rendered useless but the Top was RACK. She knew the dangers and what to do if things were taken too far. He was practically beaten to a pulp. He vomited with pain, almost passed out. He has scars. He bled like fuck. Screamed his safeword but it was ignored. But yet he says it was the best scene he's ever done.

    That is very similar to what I experienced in hospital I threw up too and screamed the place down, there are no safe words in hospital, they were trying to keep the pain to a minimum but couldnt. I know what the guy experienced and it was a type of euphoria, i wouldnt try to artificially chase it but I now understand more what it is all about.

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    Ms HKM [sign in to see picture]
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    It's perfectly okay to have a vanilla relationship and a leather sex life.

    Those euphoric feelings are easily simulated again. Pain is in the mind (or so they say) and you could have these thesholds explored with the right partner. As long as you can trust them and you feel confident that they have your welfare in the forefront of the mind. You can still express your hard limits and should these be violated then you have the right to call time. For example. You're wanting to explore edge play - fear, pain and endurance. You consent to being beaten but your hard limit is penetrative play/sex. You may scream your safe word at being physically/mentally hurt from the beating and the Top will most likely ignore it - as it was consented. If she penetrates you (e.g. fisting is often used for edge play) and your safe word is ignored - that's assualt/rape. See the difference?

    Communication is key. It's wise to have a third party with you and someone with some first aid. Discuss your aftercare needs at length!! Don't be shy in saying what you need - and if you are - don't play!!! Your top will be misinformed

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    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    im not as experienced as Ms HKM but i think what she is trying to say is that the aim is to break those limits and you have concented to being puched further than you would ordinaraly like. you shouting the safeword is like saying oww, the top will concider this but wont stop because that would defeat the point of pushing your limets. if you say your safe word 'cos they are doing something you havent concented to then they will as that is not the point of the activity in which you are partaking.

    Hope i got this right Ms HKM and if so, i hope you understand what im on about AA

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