• NO oral sex, are you kidding???

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    lickmadick wrote:

    sounds cool im into that language too

    just as much fun in complete silence then you have only body vibrations to work on lol

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    lilac_vix [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    lilac_vix wrote:

    I spent 2 years with a 'really nice guy' whom I wasn't really sexually compatiable with because I didn't think it was really a ligitamate reason to break up with someone. However, my sexual frustration eventually turned in to resentment and spilled over in to other areas of our life. I wouldn't do that again now.

    There are plenty of women posting here who have lost their libido, are their partners justified in walking out?

    Well the problem wasn't with mismatched libidos, and I have previously stayed with an ex through a couple of years of PE but I didn't walk out because one I loved him and two when he was well we had amazing sex and even with the PE he was very giving and we made up for it with other activities. I don't advocate walking out on someone if they are ill, or need support where things have previously been good.

    The problem was with the person I was referring to we weren't sexually compatiable. He was a virgin when we met and I assumed the sex would imporve. I spent a lot of time telling him what I liked and asking him what he likes- but he could never make me come without step by step instructions and all he would say to me was that he was happy with whatever I did. TBH even the kissing wasn't that good. He just didn't like the same things I liked. For me it was a case of lie back and think of England, or direct the entire thing which was tiring and frutrating because I could never just enjoy it. Aside from the sex however we had a fairly great relationship so like I said, I didn't think the sex was a very good reason to end a relationship but in reality I should never have stayed with him so long that it ended up ruining our friendship too. Other options such as an open relationship where a no go. I wouldn't do it again, I now think if its not right from the start (ie within a few weeks of havong sex) then its probably never going to be.

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    probally right LV dont waste your time move on

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    lilac_vix wrote:

    Aside from the sex however we had a fairly great relationship so like I said, I didn't think the sex was a very good reason to end a relationship but in reality I should never have stayed with him so long that it ended up ruining our friendship too. Other options such as an open relationship where a no go. I wouldn't do it again, I now think if its not right from the start (ie within a few weeks of havong sex) then its probably never going to be.

    Away from this forum if a guy were to leave a woman coz the sex was rubbish he would be called shallow and narrow minded and the woman advised she was better off without him I think the world goes through a charade of values 1 value is expressed the other is the thought and they arnt the same. For us the sex was good from the start so was everything else so we got on with it.

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    lilac_vix [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    lilac_vix wrote:

    Aside from the sex however we had a fairly great relationship so like I said, I didn't think the sex was a very good reason to end a relationship but in reality I should never have stayed with him so long that it ended up ruining our friendship too. Other options such as an open relationship where a no go. I wouldn't do it again, I now think if its not right from the start (ie within a few weeks of havong sex) then its probably never going to be.

    Away from this forum if a guy were to leave a woman coz the sex was rubbish he would be called shallow and narrow minded and the woman advised she was better off without him I think the world goes through a charade of values 1 value is expressed the other is the thought and they arnt the same. For us the sex was good from the start so was everything else so we got on with it.

    People have all sorts of views away from the forum. We didn't split up because the sex was crap, we split up because I turned in to a horrid person because I was frustrated. I would much rather someone left me after a couple of months because they didn't think we were compatible before I fell in love with them and built my life with them, than afterwards. It's never nice being dumped or dumping someone. I felt guilty I stayed with him so long, I felt like I'd deluded myself and led him on when I could never be happy although that was never my intention. If anyone asks my advice male or female I would tell them that if they're not happy after 3 months and they can't reach a compromise then they should seriously consider walking away, if it's an established long term relationship then I would say you should try and save the relationship first. I don't judge people or think they are shallow for making that decision, it saves a much worse heart break later on. As many people have said here, they would like more but they get enough of other things to be happy to compromise which there is nothing wrong with at all.

    PS I think the advice she is better off without him is perfectly valid, not because the man was shallow though, but because why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who can't be happy with you.

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    My first gf dumped me because I wasnt giving her what she wanted which was to hang about in a huge group. She came back with a black eye from her new BF but then she wasnt giving me what I wanted like commitment

    the sex was more adventurous but without emotion we split after three months.

    Women are different to men they ask questions in the hope they get the answer they are looking for and so I think your post "PS I think the advice she is better off without him is perfectly valid, not because the man was shallow though, but because why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who can't be happy with you." is exactly what she wants to hear but doesnt feel right with the emotion. For myself I have no idea what life is like without a good love life noty because Im fantastic at it but coz Ive never stayed there long if it wasnt at least good and both were making an effort.

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    lilac_vix [sign in to see picture]
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    yeah there def needs to be both sex and emotion. I do think people who get dumped are tempted to play the victim and vilify the dumper even though it was often the right decision. It has suprised me recently the number of male friends I have who've deliberately being horrible to their OH's in the hope she'll dump them so they don't get the blame for the break up. I don't know if thats a man thing or a coincidence.

    However, I fear we have gone off topic. I did just think of something that tends to make me chuckle though. One of my more 'straight laced' friends said to me during a conversation about internet dating that she's sick of men expecting oral sex and if one asked her for oral she was going to tell him she'd rather bite it off because it's disgusting! lol. I couldn't help wondering if thats why she's mostly single. She's in her early 30's and a lovely person.

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    lilac_vix wrote:However, I fear we have gone off topic. I did just think of something that tends to make me chuckle though. One of my more 'straight laced' friends said to me during a conversation about internet dating that she's sick of men expecting oral sex and if one asked her for oral she was going to tell him she'd rather bite it off because it's disgusting! lol. I couldn't help wondering if thats why she's mostly single. She's in her early 30's and a lovely person.

    That is so damned funny...the thread was started by a woman who expects oral sex, maybe her OH should bite off her clitoris?

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    lilac_vix wrote:

    yeah there def needs to be both sex and emotion. I do think people who get dumped are tempted to play the victim and vilify the dumper even though it was often the right decision. It has suprised me recently the number of male friends I have who've deliberately being horrible to their OH's in the hope she'll dump them so they don't get the blame for the break up. I don't know if thats a man thing or a coincidence.

    She was my first I loved her and wanted to make it work, she messed me about for two years after we split and then when I told her I was going steady with a girl (Now Mrs G) she gave me the sobbing "Ive always loved you treatment". She just wanted to have her cake and eat it.

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    Banananananas! [sign in to see picture]
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    I dont mind giving at all ;).... but i like it a little too rough so getting oral just doesnt cut it for me, my OH does love trying though i do let him and he didnt give oral until he met me! he wasnt a virgin and his drunken cousin let me know of the one nighters at her parties, just no one wanted to or like the idea of it.... in the past i didnt like any form of it, due to an ex that saw it as a time waster (what a nice fella) and free lube, kinda get down get done get up thing, ahh to be young and niave, now its a hobby and a way to be a pest :)

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    Butters,notallsweetandinnocent! [sign in to see picture]
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    I gave my OH his first bj two nights ago, he's 21 and had never had one with his previous partners, they wouldnt do it, yet he went down on them, we both now enjoy oral, i love to give oral and recieve, he is extremely good at giving and aparently i blew his mind (not the first partner whos said that ;) ) aha

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    fizzy [sign in to see picture]
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    I love giving and getting it!

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    easy_tiger [sign in to see picture]
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    I love giving it, i could do it for hours yummy, and i do like receiving oral.

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    2nd Chance T [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    lilac_vix wrote:However, I fear we have gone off topic. I did just think of something that tends to make me chuckle though. One of my more 'straight laced' friends said to me during a conversation about internet dating that she's sick of men expecting oral sex and if one asked her for oral she was going to tell him she'd rather bite it off because it's disgusting! lol. I couldn't help wondering if thats why she's mostly single. She's in her early 30's and a lovely person.

    That is so damned funny...the thread was started by a woman who expects oral sex, maybe her OH should bite off her clitoris?

    Ouch Gunther, lol

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    bemmyscot [sign in to see picture]
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    Well Im another whos has never had oral sex given to them because my wife has no interest. If I ask im accused of being demanding. Now I enjoy going down on my wife, but If you dont get a lot of response back it makes it difficult.

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    MissBoo [sign in to see picture]
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    In my experience, I know women that are a lot more selfish sexually. I know a lot of women who will quite happily receive, but are unwilling to give. Some say it's gross (how is it different?)some saw they can't be bothered with the jaw ache, and one woman I know said to me it's cause it's really ugly looking! I think a sad amount of people are very close minded, sexually.

    I'm very lucky that my husband loves going down on me and I love repaying the favour :)

    We both have conditions that we both wash before hand! That has never ruined the mood for us, in fact, if I say to my husband "go wash" you'll never see him move quicker!

    I know it's not the case for everyone, but a lot of people have the view "as long as I'm ok, that's all that matters"

    I think if you love or care for someone, compromise is a massive thing. If something makes my husband happy, then I'd be more than willing to try it, even if I have to power through the odd jaw ache!

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    OperationFilth [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh I adore oral, giving and recieving (men/women).

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    Happy. [sign in to see picture]
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    I love oral. Giving and receiving. In our early days my wife loved it a lot. She use to come over and over again. I think maybe she was very sensitive.

    Anyway it seems to have stopped for her lately. She still gives it but does not seem to want it. The irony is i know she loves it bacause the sqweel drives her mad. She just says she cannot handle the intense sensations any more. Strange one to me.

    Believe it or not, This actually makes me sad. Because i actually enjoyed giving more than receiving.

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    sweetB [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    lilac_vix wrote:However, I fear we have gone off topic. I did just think of something that tends to make me chuckle though. One of my more 'straight laced' friends said to me during a conversation about internet dating that she's sick of men expecting oral sex and if one asked her for oral she was going to tell him she'd rather bite it off because it's disgusting! lol. I couldn't help wondering if thats why she's mostly single. She's in her early 30's and a lovely person.

    That is so damned funny...the thread was started by a woman who expects oral sex, maybe her OH should bite off her clitoris?

    Oh god, thats made me feel quite sick!

    Anyway, I always hated receiving oral until I met my OH and discovered what all the fuss was about, Wow... !

    I just couldn't relax with exes and felt quite vulnerable. When I did relax a little it wasn't that great.

    OH was patient, a little persistant, made me feel comfortable and is very good at it.

    I love giving oral but OH doesn't let me very often. He rarely lets me do anything actually.

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    Julie_L [sign in to see picture]
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    I prefer giving oral sex to receiving. Yes, I can enjoy the sensation, but it's sometimes not quite strong enough - it's rare for me to have a really satisfying orgasm from just a tongue on my clitoris.

    Oral is nicest, for me, as a kind of foreplay - and the best element of it is probably the intimacy that the two of you are sharing.

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