• newbie a little embarressed but need advise please

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    goodgirl turning bad [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 22 Mar 2012

    ok im new here only found the site tonight when looking for ways to spice up my sex life with the other half

    i am a very shy lady and not had that much sexual partners, i have been with my b/f now for 3.5yrs and things have kinda went a bit wayward in the bedroom.

    i have just bought a nice corset from here to dress up for him :-) though feel very insecure about this being a big lady but i know he will like it and to be honest once i have let go of my inabitions i will prob like it too, we have hand cuffs already used to use these way at the begining of the relationship, but never now

    so how can i spice things up between us - i think he would like me to take control for once but have not got a clue how to as never taken control in the bedroom

    please help if this is not the right place to ask please point me in the right direction ta

    1332453414
    Lady.Gasm.X [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
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    You are in the right place! I'm a submissive in my relationship so I'm not an expert, but i'm sure there are plenty of people on here who will give you some great advice. Welcome to LH :)

    xxx

    1332453486
    AliMc [sign in to see picture]
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    A classic vibrator is always a good start for beginners as it's not too intimidating, or a cock ring can be a good way to enahnce your lovemaking. Or maybe you could start by experimenting with different types of lubricant.

    1332453958
    margiemoo [sign in to see picture]
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    goodgirl turning bad wrote:

    ok im new here only found the site tonight when looking for ways to spice up my sex life with the other half

    i am a very shy lady and not had that much sexual partners, i have been with my b/f now for 3.5yrs and things have kinda went a bit wayward in the bedroom.

    i have just bought a nice corset from here to dress up for him :-) though feel very insecure about this being a big lady but i know he will like it and to be honest once i have let go of my inabitions i will prob like it too, we have hand cuffs already used to use these way at the begining of the relationship, but never now

    so how can i spice things up between us - i think he would like me to take control for once but have not got a clue how to as never taken control in the bedroom

    please help if this is not the right place to ask please point me in the right direction ta

    you got the corset get a pair of the stockings with the bows on these are really nice and i know u have handcuffs but LH do edible handcuffs i new to this so i dont know how to post the link to the product they will break the ice and break him in gently it worked for me, give it a try and have fun

    1332454777
    S&M sexy times [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi & welcome LH

    How about trying a bit of light bondage, you could tie him up gently & enjoy his body or he could do it to you first, then you could try it in return.

    1332455449
    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi and welcome to the community.

    You are in the right place to ask questions so no need to feel embarresed around here.

    If you feel a self conscious try sending him texts telling him what you would like him to do when he gets home. Or adding a blindfold to the handcuffs so he doesnt see the new outfit straight away, it will give you time to relax and become more comfortable with yourself. By the time he does see you wearing it he will be putty in your hands, so to speak.

    xGGx

    1332458605
    DraeneiShaman [sign in to see picture]
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    Blindfold him and use the handcuffs then tell him to sit down or lay down on the bed or something and not move, it doesnt have to be too powerful or dominating just 'I want you to sit yourself down and stay still, let me play with you tonight' or something like that :P then you can use whatever you want to tease him, touch him with your fingertips or kiss him gently, breathe on his neck or chest, whisper in his ear, but make sure you stay in control and dont let him move from his position. Then you could remove the blindfold and show him your underwear and play with him more, make sure he still doesnt move, but stroke or lick him, let him watch but not touch :) then when you've had your fun you can take the handcuffs on and have as much sex as you want!! :)

    1332458974
    acoupleofwankers [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    At times in my life when I was less sexually confident, dressing up in sexy undies could do one of two things for me. It could either make me feel really confident and sexy (but I think I had to be in a generally sexually positive mood at the time) or it would make me feel incredibly pressured. Kind of like, I'd put the fancy outfit on and then I'd have to prove myself to be sexy - this is a very silly way of thinking about things. I don't know if any of that really applies to you - but one piece of advice I can give is to relax and take things as they come, dress up on days you feel like it, not on days you think you should feel like it.

    hmmmphh.... I'm not sure the advice above was overly useful, don't think I was really explaining myself that well.

    Other things I would suggest would be something fun like flavoured lube (I've heard very good things about the Sliquid ones), and a good little vibrator is always fun - be cautious though, crappy underpowered vibrators are in my opinion frustrating and a bit of a pain and certainly not sexy. I would recommend this one from Lovehoney http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17063 - it's actually pretty decent and is their no1 best seller.

    As ghost girl has said above - dirty texts are great. You just have to be brave and press send! I'm sure it'd drive him crazy with desire (I haven't met a man that doesn't yet!)

    Hope that advice is helpful, and sorry if it's not - but feel free to ask more questions, no need to be shy around here - everyone is very open-minded and friendly

    Lucy xxx

    1332459659
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    you could also buy a male masturbator to use on him while he's blindfolded and cuffed to the bed.

    don't forget a nice pair of high heels ( if you have/wear them) can compliment a sexy outfit really well, and make you as tall as him in some cases, which can make you feel more powerful

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    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello Goodgirl and welcome to the forum!

    Great posts above (esp toying's). I have only one other thing to add. . .possibly when blindfolded a rough yet sensual baby oil massage combined with some light flogging and spanking. Being blindfolded and restrained/tied up and having your arse, nipples, cock or pussy flogged in total silence can be very arousing :)

    Good luck and most of all just relax and enjoy it! SG

    1332501239

    [suspended user]

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    Mrs G once said to me "do you want me on the bed or on my knees"...that did it for me lol

    1332610690
    goodgirl turning bad [sign in to see picture]
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    ToyingAround wrote:

    You said you think he would like you to take control? Do you know for sure if he would or are you just guessing?

    For a beginner, I would suggest to start off small. Like GhostGirl says, a great starting point is sending texts, so you two are getting into the swing of things before hand, and you both get use to it, and how far each other can go. I unfortunately made the mistake of going in hardcore with a partner and freaking him out..lol.

    You could also try little things like when you are in the kitchen prepping dinner or something, go up behind him and hold his hands behind his back when he least expects it, and whisper into his ear the things you'd like to do or simply ask him seductively if he'd like certain things, such as "Have you been naughty? Do I need to take you upstairs and handcuff you to our bed and have my wicked way with you?" this way you will know from his reaction how far you can go with him and how much he likes. Or you could sit and watch tv and suddenly stand up infront of him, look him straight in the eye with a deviant look, say no words and climb on top of him and pin his hands above his head or beside him on the sofa. By doing little things like this, you can get a feel for it and how far you can go with it and what he does and doesn't like, then when it comes to the bedroom and your new outfit, you should be pretty confident of what to do and what he does and doesn't like, therefore you won't feel awkward or go too far with him.

    Once you get the feel for it, there is loads of things you can do to control. Obviously blindfold and handcuff will probably be the first steps, but like Sweetlove and Coupleof have said, a male masturbator, flavoured lubes, maybe even a flogger that you could run up and down his body. Running your nails down his body. You could even tease him silly by running ice cubes, or your body down him, letting him kiss parts of you, keep him on edge, play with yourself in front of him whilst he watches and he can't move or do anything. The list is endless.

    Then you have two options, either let him free and you go crazy on each other because he will be wound up like a spring, or you can keep him tied up and get him off whenever you want.

    Sorry for this post being so long! lol Hope this helps x

    SEXYGET 69 wrote:

    Hello Goodgirl and welcome to the forum!

    Great posts above (esp toying's). I have only one other thing to add. . .possibly when blindfolded a rough yet sensual baby oil massage combined with some light flogging and spanking. Being blindfolded and restrained/tied up and having your arse, nipples, cock or pussy flogged in total silence can be very arousing :)

    Good luck and most of all just relax and enjoy it! SG

    i know for defo he would like me to take control :-) , and we used to do the sexting when we 1st met just after 3 yrs together that has died out lol - but its a good idea to try it again, he likes to be tied up and spank we have had whips and things before nothing too hardcore like but have tired them and he seems to love it but because i am so shy even after 3 yrs i kinda worry and get embarressed doing it to him even tho i know its what he likes-

    he is totally different in that way from me he will try anything and is into a lot more things than i would normally do in the bedroom - tho its not because i feel uncomfortble as in dont want to do it just feel doing it and dont know why lol

    thank you all for the advise i am going to try and stop being to and give it a go - my bustier arrived and its nice and he like's it as well so going to suprise him one night and try being a little lol

    1332669019
    fizzy [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi and welcome to the forum!

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