• Adultery

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    AliMc [sign in to see picture]
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    I was just reading on another forum about a woman's husband who confessed to cheating before they were married. Personally I couldn't stay with someone after finding out he cheated on me, regardless of when it was or how it happened, I just don't have it in me to do that.

    I think if someone wants to sleep with a person that isn't their OH (unless they have an agreement) they should break up with them first. Sure it would still hurt, but I imagine it would hurt more to be cheated on. What is everyone else's thoughts?

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    Abots [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm in your boat, Ali. I couldn't stay with someone if I knew they'd cheated, no matter when or how.

    It's not right and surely if it's happened once, it'll happen (or could happen) again. All trust would be gone.

    I do agree, if you want somebody else, break up with your current partner first, cheating doesn't do anyone any favours, just causes upset.

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    divoshqa [sign in to see picture]
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    My personal opinion - if it is about to happen - keep it discreet and definitely do not repeat. What eyes dont see then heart will not feel ...I have learned from experience that the honesty is not always the best policy in the relationship. You should be honest about love and keep the dark side to yourself.

    I have been cheated on but the question remains... Do I see a future with the guy with my gut feeling? If so, forgiveness has a big power about sustainability of the relationship :)

    We live in free world and we have moved on from 'no sex before marriage'. We experience a lot more, our mind fantasies all the time. Though, we communicate less.....and that is a shame ....

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    kendo [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes, it would hurt. Usually there is a reason for the cheating to occur, a breakdown in the relationship before it happens possibly. There are two sides to every story.

    I couldn't do it, an I seriously doubt my wife would. That's assuming anyone would find me interesting enough in the first place!

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    Satoshi [sign in to see picture]
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    AliMc wrote:

    I think if someone wants to sleep with a person that isn't their OH (unless they have an agreement) they should break up with them first.

    This has always been my mantra, the logic is inescapable.

    kendo wrote:

    Usually there is a reason for the cheating to occur, a breakdown in the relationship before it happens possibly. There are two sides to every story.

    I agree but that still doesn't excuse jumping into bed with someone else while still in the relationship, if things are that bad then breaking up first is the fair thing to do.

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    ShaftMaster [sign in to see picture]
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    kendo wrote:

    Yes, it would hurt. Usually there is a reason for the cheating to occur, a breakdown in the relationship before it happens possibly. There are two sides to every story.

    I couldn't do it, an I seriously doubt my wife would. That's assuming anyone would find me interesting enough in the first place!

    Have to admit I agree with you Kendo more than the others. I can certainly see where the others are coming from, and it is not something I would forgive easily, but one cheat and it's over is too black and white for me.

    It's definately something I'd have to look at the circumstances with. It's easy to say break up before sleeping with someone else, but what if that happens spontaneously? Are you going to break up with someone by phone whilst getting undressed?

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    Satoshi [sign in to see picture]
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    ShaftMaster wrote:

    It's easy to say break up before sleeping with someone else, but what if that happens spontaneously? Are you going to break up with someone by phone whilst getting undressed?

    Ever heard of self control? Will power, man!

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    ShaftMaster [sign in to see picture]
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    Satoshi wrote:

    ShaftMaster wrote:

    It's easy to say break up before sleeping with someone else, but what if that happens spontaneously? Are you going to break up with someone by phone whilst getting undressed?

    Ever heard of self control? Will power, man!

    Lol, just saying not every situation is the same.

    Besides, you heard of alcohol?

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    Satoshi [sign in to see picture]
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    ShaftMaster wrote:

    Besides, you heard of alcohol?

    I don't buy into the "you're not responsible if you're drunk" excuse for any type of behaviour including cheating but that's a whole other topic for another day!

    Having said that though, isn't having a drunken fling more likely to hurt yourself if you were suffering from the dreaded goggles the night before?

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    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    As somebody who's been cheated on. . .I can only say what a selfish act. I find it pisspoor and weak to be honest and more so if there are children in the relationship. In my experience people who cheat are labelled as such and they go down in their childrens estimation if they have any, big time.

    I personally have no sympathy whatsoever. Get some balls and end the relationship beforehand! :)

    SG

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    Satoshi wrote:

    ShaftMaster wrote:

    Besides, you heard of alcohol?

    I don't buy into the "you're not responsible if you're drunk" excuse for any type of behaviour including cheating but that's a whole other topic for another day!

    Having said that though, isn't having a drunken fling more likely to hurt yourself if you were suffering from the dreaded goggles the night before?

    just before we got married I ended up in bed with a pretty Japanese girl, both so drunk neither of us could do anything lol....In the morning we both thougght better of it got dressed and had a cuddle then said goodbye.

    There are many scenarious but only one word being used here. I dont think if your other half has a fling it is neccessarily the end of the world depending on how you feel and how much you have invested in the relationship.

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    Juan [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    just before we got married I ended up in bed with a pretty Japanese girl, both so drunk neither of us could do anything lol....In the morning we both thougght better of it got dressed and had a cuddle then said goodbye.

    Similar thing happened to a mate of mine - slept with a one night stand just before marriage, he then repeatedly cheated on his OH and they are now divorced and have 4 young kids. Messy. I think he felt pressured into going through with the marriage but knew deep down he wasnt fully committed.

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    Juan wrote:

    gunther wrote:

    just before we got married I ended up in bed with a pretty Japanese girl, both so drunk neither of us could do anything lol....In the morning we both thougght better of it got dressed and had a cuddle then said goodbye.

    Similar thing happened to a mate of mine - slept with a one night stand just before marriage, he then repeatedly cheated on his OH and they are now divorced and have 4 young kids. Messy. I think he felt pressured into going through with the marriage but knew deep down he wasnt fully committed.

    Nothing like that with me it was just too much booze on my last night in Japan it was 26 yrs ago and we are still together

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    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
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    there is no excuse for a partner cheating fullstop. Even if their is a lack of sex within a relationship, it doesn't give a person the right to go out and take what he/she wants from another, knowing full well it will intentionally hurt the partner who they are cheating on.

    I've been cheated on, it kills, it's one thing i can never forgive!

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    I suspect my wife knows I have been with others but after 28 yrs together 26 married I always come home I think she feels secure now particularly as she is my company secretary and gets paid a small fortune just for being Mrs G lol

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    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    I would leave there's trust in a relationship and once it is broken to that extent then it cannot be mended.

    I agree with others that it's spineless and horrible and that there is self control.

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    This may sound like excuse making but I know many guys who just sit in their hotel room every night, they frequently end up going bananas and return home as complete misfits. Mental health issues are as common as divorce due to infidelity in my business.

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    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    That's just excuse making Gunther! :)

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    SEXYGET 69 wrote:

    That's just excuse making Gunther! :)

    It may seem that way SG I dont set out to get involved with other women quite the opposite in fact. I have a few female friends here who are just that friends. I have learned from expperience how to make friends and keep the gold diggers at bay. there were no women in Saudi Arabia which may be a comfort to the guys wives exept that after 2 years only conversingg with men I was starting to go Ga Ga and many of the guys there actually were completely bonkers unable to fit back into life in the UK. Womens company keeps men civilised it doesnt have to mean sex. My wife has met all the women here and is good friends with them, its like a womans charter, they look after me on her behalf.

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    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
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    there is no excuse for cheating, full stop. I served in the forces, I would be away from my partner at the time for months on end, i never cheated, it's easy not to cheat, it's even harder to cheat, therefore, the cheater must not really have 100% feelings for their actual partner

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