Popping her anal cherry

Lilla K,

Now this is one for careful consideration. Yu might think that as a bloke he/we/l would feel penetrated, and  l mean penetrated by being ass fucked with a strap-on, but it's not quite that simple hun.

The inteior is nerve free as far as l can see, and thus it is largely down to the insertion, from the male perspective.

Wholly selfish l know, and from the male perspective l agree.

From the gal's perspective l accept the thrill of servicing her partner surpasseth all comparisons, but worth bearing in mind when acquiring the dildo!!

Not understood the above, suggest you acquire one with ridges, heads whatever, as the anal sphincter sets will love you to orgasm for introducing them to it!!!

Once inside it's like waving a wand in the Albert Hll... to use a Mucky Duck like phrase.

Hope this humble offering is a modicum of assistance Lilla K.

Tallboy 

Thank you TB - bear all that in mind - not sure about the Albert Hall analogy though!! 

Lilla

xx

Only meant in the sense of no feeling- hence akin to no walls- l think !!

TB

 Are you saying that the prostate has no feeling?

Only in my case Lubyanka- ek do l have one. Maybe l have battered it int submission over the years !!!!

Tallboy - and yes it does work.

after yrs off anal i still get a kick out of it,so does my oh i just wish she would buy a strap on and do me

Me and my partner get a great kick out of it her on me and me on her, we are still newbies at in but really does drive us wild :)

redapple wrote:

Lubyanka wrote:

 I have this thing, where I think that if you can do a thing, then you should really be able to say that thing.

I thought Lubyanka was going to say 'don't ask someone to do something you cannnot do yourself'' ..... that's one philosophy I have always tried to follow

That one works for me occasionally, but I don't have it in my permanent "always follow" rules.  My main problem with it is that it just falls down too many times.  For example, lets say a person had a horrible experience with giving oral sex, and as a result, they avoid ever giving oral sex.  Does that mean that they can't ask to receive oral sex?  Or if I have never ejaculated, does that mean I can't ask a partner to ejaculate?

And not to forget the old favourite:  "If Mrs Jones jumped off a bridge into the river, would you do it too?"

I don't like the idea of being asked to do something solely on the basis that my partner is willing to do it.  And I don't like the idea of asking somebody to do something solely because I am willing to do it.  I am a separate and unique individual, as are my partners.  My wishes are unconnected to theirs, my needs are unconnected to theirs, and my desires and tastes are unconnected to theirs.  If I'm willing to be penetrated on any particular day, I don't see why that should mean that they are supposed to want to as well.  If I want sushi, should they all want it?  Why can't I have sushi and they have beef teryaki and chicken tatsuta age (or whatever they want)?

All bodies vary, between genders and within them, so we aren't likely to all like or want the same things.  So I prefer to ask my partners to at least try things which I know will likely be pleasurable for them.  If they don't want to, then I must respect their ultimate sovereignty over their own bodies, just as I expect them to always respect mine.

For me, the logic of only asking a person to do those things I would do makes no sense and is essentially flawed.  So that's why I mostly don't incorporate that into my decision making.

I don't know if that made any sense, but I had fun rambling on about it.  Thank you for reading anyhow.  :)

"If Mrs Jones jumped off the bridge......" indeed Lubyanka, you are a one !!!!

TB

 Yes indeed, a demonstration of personal experience that an activity can be pain free and pleasurable, absolutely!  I just had an issue with always limiting requests of others to those acts I do myself.  :)

I think in Russ's particular case, there are other significant factors affecting the situation besides just "you do it, ok, I'll do it first".

Thank you for explaining, redapple.  :)

Mucky Duck wrote:

Russ, There is alot of good advice listed, here's my two cents.  Mrs Duck didn't like anal at first either, I was way too eager & rushed things. We love it now.   The two key things is start small & take it slow.  It could take a few months of building up to just popping your helmet in.

• I would start by making it normal for her to have her ass touched.  Try licking it when you're down on her, tickle her hole with your finger & rubbing (ABSOLUTELY no penetration)
• Buy her a small butt plug/ anal vibe, forget the kit you posted, WAY too scary ,  have a look at http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13662                                   http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9758                        
• Let her have a go on her own with the new toy until she is comfortable,  Get bum lube too!
• If she responds to the butt plug, try using it or a finger in there whilst licking her pussy.

First Go

Once all the above is completed & only if she's happy, ask her if she's willing to try again, if so- get midly drunk together (helps relax the muscles). 

Open her up with either your finger or plug during oral.  Lube her up really well (after paying her pussy attention first), lube yourself up too.  Put her on her knees with lots of pillows under her for support.

Very very very slowly ease your helmet into her ass (she has to keep relaxed, a clit buzzer could help) once you have popped in  STOP, do not move.  Let her become used to your tip & girth. Talk to her for feedback.

Once she is relaxed again & comfortable you have to ease in a fraction of a inch at a time, each time stopping & waiting for her  (If you lose your self control & go for it, it's game over boyo!). 

Once you are fully in or she can't take any more just stop & hold her tight & make a big fuss of her.  Unless she really wants you to fuck her ass, withdraw & pack up for the night.  She will be alot less scared for next time.

Second go

Repeat all above steps until you are fully in & she's happy.  Start to withdraw slightly to about half way, very very slowly start to move  in & out about an inch until she gives the nod, then two inch V.Slowly & again until you are fully driving home GENTLY.  If you are wanting to cum in her ass make sure you want last long in there!!!! 

Do not get carried away & go bananas until she's completely happy & she trusts you in there (thats 80% of the battle), it could be several times of anal explorations before you can really 'fuck her ass'.

Don't rush her, it is well worth the wait & effort.  Hopefully you will both love it.   Mrs Duck seemsto get so much more from it than me these days, she goes absolutely wild!!!!

Good luck! 

I'm sorry but with that description it just sounds gross and horrible - if you want anal why not just have sex with a man?

  If a man told me he liked anal then I would assume, rightly or wrongly ,that he was actually gay.

I would also be hugely insulted as a woman if my "proper" hole wasn't good enough for him. 

Surely a woman can't come with anal alone? and if not then what's the point , if it was that good you wouldn't need other stimulation, surely?

Hathor wrote:

Mucky Duck wrote:

Russ, There is alot of good advice listed, here's my two cents.  Mrs Duck didn't like anal at first either, I was way too eager & rushed things. We love it now.   The two key things is start small & take it slow.  It could take a few months of building up to just popping your helmet in.

• I would start by making it normal for her to have her ass touched.  Try licking it when you're down on her, tickle her hole with your finger & rubbing (ABSOLUTELY no penetration)
• Buy her a small butt plug/ anal vibe, forget the kit you posted, WAY too scary ,  have a look at http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13662                                   http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9758                        
• Let her have a go on her own with the new toy until she is comfortable,  Get bum lube too!
• If she responds to the butt plug, try using it or a finger in there whilst licking her pussy.

First Go

Once all the above is completed & only if she's happy, ask her if she's willing to try again, if so- get midly drunk together (helps relax the muscles). 

Open her up with either your finger or plug during oral.  Lube her up really well (after paying her pussy attention first), lube yourself up too.  Put her on her knees with lots of pillows under her for support.

Very very very slowly ease your helmet into her ass (she has to keep relaxed, a clit buzzer could help) once you have popped in  STOP, do not move.  Let her become used to your tip & girth. Talk to her for feedback.

Once she is relaxed again & comfortable you have to ease in a fraction of a inch at a time, each time stopping & waiting for her  (If you lose your self control & go for it, it's game over boyo!). 

Once you are fully in or she can't take any more just stop & hold her tight & make a big fuss of her.  Unless she really wants you to fuck her ass, withdraw & pack up for the night.  She will be alot less scared for next time.

Second go

Repeat all above steps until you are fully in & she's happy.  Start to withdraw slightly to about half way, very very slowly start to move  in & out about an inch until she gives the nod, then two inch V.Slowly & again until you are fully driving home GENTLY.  If you are wanting to cum in her ass make sure you want last long in there!!!! 

Do not get carried away & go bananas until she's completely happy & she trusts you in there (thats 80% of the battle), it could be several times of anal explorations before you can really 'fuck her ass'.

Don't rush her, it is well worth the wait & effort.  Hopefully you will both love it.   Mrs Duck seemsto get so much more from it than me these days, she goes absolutely wild!!!!

Good luck! 

I'm sorry but with that description it just sounds gross and horrible - if you want anal why not just have sex with a man?

  If a man told me he liked anal then I would assume, rightly or wrongly ,that he was actually gay.

I would also be hugely insulted as a woman if my "proper" hole wasn't good enough for him. 

Surely a woman can't come with anal alone? and if not then what's the point , if it was that good you wouldn't need other stimulation, surely?

Firstly, lets define 'gay'. A 'gay' man is someone who is attracted to other males. Wanting to have anal sex with a woman does not make a man gay. A straight man wanting to be penetrated anally by a female is also not gay. Homosexuals are defined by their preference towards men, not which hole they penetrate or have penetrated.

I know plenty of men who have indulged in anal sex with females and are in no way attracted to men or want to have anal sex with a man. They simply like the tight, warm sensation you get from it. Nothing to do with repressed sexual desires for the same sex!

A very large number of men have indulged in anal sex with a woman and it they were all, like you say, gay, I don't think many of us would be in relationships right now!

Also, I know several lesbian couples who enjoy anal sex... so... does that make them repressed gay males too?

Many women do manage to orgasm through anal alone with no clitoral or vaginal stimulation. The penis entering the anus stimulates the back vaginal wall which is actually incredibly satisfying.

Saying that 'if anal was so good then you wouldn't need other stimulation' is a slightly skewed view too. I, and many other women, find it difficult to orgasm through regular, penetrative, vaginal sex so require clitoral stimulation through fingers or a vibrator. I haven't given up on penetrative vaginal sex because I shouldn't need clitoral stimulation too - in fact, it makes the experience even more enjoyable to be stimulated both internally and externally.

 Mucky, i think that was really helpful.

Gonna show it to the bf xxx

Hathor wrote:

Mucky Duck wrote:

Russ, There is alot of good advice listed, here's my two cents.  Mrs Duck didn't like anal at first either, I was way too eager & rushed things. We love it now.   The two key things is start small & take it slow.  It could take a few months of building up to just popping your helmet in.

• I would start by making it normal for her to have her ass touched.  Try licking it when you're down on her, tickle her hole with your finger & rubbing (ABSOLUTELY no penetration)
• Buy her a small butt plug/ anal vibe, forget the kit you posted, WAY too scary ,  have a look at http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13662                                   http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9758                        
• Let her have a go on her own with the new toy until she is comfortable,  Get bum lube too!
• If she responds to the butt plug, try using it or a finger in there whilst licking her pussy.

First Go

Once all the above is completed & only if she's happy, ask her if she's willing to try again, if so- get midly drunk together (helps relax the muscles). 

Open her up with either your finger or plug during oral.  Lube her up really well (after paying her pussy attention first), lube yourself up too.  Put her on her knees with lots of pillows under her for support.

Very very very slowly ease your helmet into her ass (she has to keep relaxed, a clit buzzer could help) once you have popped in  STOP, do not move.  Let her become used to your tip & girth. Talk to her for feedback.

Once she is relaxed again & comfortable you have to ease in a fraction of a inch at a time, each time stopping & waiting for her  (If you lose your self control & go for it, it's game over boyo!). 

Once you are fully in or she can't take any more just stop & hold her tight & make a big fuss of her.  Unless she really wants you to fuck her ass, withdraw & pack up for the night.  She will be alot less scared for next time.

Second go

Repeat all above steps until you are fully in & she's happy.  Start to withdraw slightly to about half way, very very slowly start to move  in & out about an inch until she gives the nod, then two inch V.Slowly & again until you are fully driving home GENTLY.  If you are wanting to cum in her ass make sure you want last long in there!!!! 

Do not get carried away & go bananas until she's completely happy & she trusts you in there (thats 80% of the battle), it could be several times of anal explorations before you can really 'fuck her ass'.

Don't rush her, it is well worth the wait & effort.  Hopefully you will both love it.   Mrs Duck seemsto get so much more from it than me these days, she goes absolutely wild!!!!

Good luck! 

I'm sorry but with that description it just sounds gross and horrible - if you want anal why not just have sex with a man?

  If a man told me he liked anal then I would assume, rightly or wrongly ,that he was actually gay.

I would also be hugely insulted as a woman if my "proper" hole wasn't good enough for him. 

Surely a woman can't come with anal alone? and if not then what's the point , if it was that good you wouldn't need other stimulation, surely?

Hathor,

Got to say mate, that's a really narrow minded view you've got there. I think Carly has pretty much wrapped up the argument about it making you gay...clearly a single action can't make you gay, it's the attraction to the same sex which makes you gay.

I personally think, a lot of things are a bit gay, such as, men crying at movies, men having tiny little dogs, men wearing eye liner or concealer etc......but, I would obviously never seriously think that any of these things would actually make a man gay!

What I'm trying to say is, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here, by assuming you meant ur comment in that loose use of the term gay....rather than saying anal makes a man homosexual?!

Anyway, what about handjobs and blowjobs? Men are capable of doing them too...so does receiving them make you gay?! With your views...it seems you can only take part in vaginal penetration!

Strapon! wrote:

Anyway, what about handjobs and blowjobs? Men are capable of doing them too...so does receiving them make you gay?! With your views...it seems you can only take part in vaginal penetration!

Aye.

By the same 'logic' is then fair to conclude Hathor that when your SO fingers you or goes down on you, that must mean you are a lesbian?

Also worth noting is somehting I discovered talking a number of gay friends over the years - the most common sexula act for those I know of is the good old blowjob.  So your hubby is gay too, no?

I hope you see the point I am making here.

While everyone has a right thier own opinion and it's perfectly OK for you to have no interest in anal sex, it is unfair and narrow minded of you to make assumptions on a subject yuou know nothing of yourself.  It is not your place to pass judgement on peoples sexuality or imply such based on the enjoyment of a simple act.

I say this as you have actually made several refernces on various threads, all boarderline insulting in their tone and ignornace.  Such as saying 'what's the point - a woman cannot cum this way' - this is simply not true and even if it were, why does that have to mean there is no point to it?  I cannot cum from say having my nipples played with, so does this mean I shouldn't bother? Of course not - as it feel good and we both enjoy it.  As does anal sex to some of us.  I love the feeling, never experience ANY pain or, erm 'mess' .  It also doesn't mean my 'proper' hole is not good enough - they are two totally different sensations for both of us.  In the same way my hand/boobs/mouth give different sensations.  Have you ever givenyour man a blowjob? Does THIS mean your 'proper hole' isn't good enoguh then?

just some thoughts...

One more thing, just for fun boys and girls... the wonderful Tim Minchin.. a song about anal sex and god ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaLF8UGr0hQ

Excellent arguments, ladies.

I doubt it'll change her views though,  as she seems very firm in her [misguided] convictions. 

Hathor wrote:

I would also be hugely insulted as a woman if my "proper" hole wasn't good enough for him. 

Surely a woman can't come with anal alone? and if not then what's the point , if it was that good you wouldn't need other stimulation, surely?

I'm wondering why you express dislike of anal on the grounds that a vagina is the only "proper" hole.  Does that mean that fellatio is out of bounds because a mouth isn't a "proper hole"?  Are male masturbators ruled out because they aren't a vagina, and therefore are not a "proper hole"?  Is masturbation ruled out because a hand isn't a "proper hole" either?

I had no idea my vagina was the only "proper hole" in my body.  Gosh.  Well, now I've learnt something new today.

In my experience, erotic activity isn't a zero-sum game.  If one thing is good, why not also include other things which are also good?  How does one good thing exclude another?  And for the record, I have personally introduced three heterosexual straight non-gay men to their prostates up their arses.  And all three have been on their knees crying in gratitude and begging for more because they had never experienced so much pleasure in their entire lives.  If a man chooses through ignorance and narrow-mindedness to exclude his own pleasure, then I'm sure he'll find these scissors useful when he wants to cut off his nose to spite his face.

I dislike reading personal preferences which are foisted on the rest of us as if we all must take a leaf out of that limited book.  If you aren't willing to explore, that is your right.  However, if you have no interest in increasing your own pleasure or broadening your horizons, then why are you here?

hehe you just reminded me of another Tim Minchin moment.  In his beat poem Storm - on his current tour - the last line goes 'we'd be 10 minutes back in time, for all the chance you'll change your mind. "

I have to say though I have no intention of changing her opinion, but would rather not be judged by someone lacking any understanding of the subject.

sorry that was aimed at Vanquish.  Forgot to quote.