• Life (and sex) after love.

    1330102196
    Serafino [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 20
    • Joined: 4 Nov 2011

    So my fiance left me a few months ago, we had an absolutely fantastic sex life and now it's gone I'm not quite sure what to do. I'm not that big on masturbating but I think that's more because I haven't found the right toy yet. I'm really sexually frustrated (going from sex everyday for 2 years to none at all does that to you) but I'm not one to go out and have a one night stand, and I'm quite awkward with boys and always end up stuck as just a friend. I'm really worried about being able to open myself up sexually (pardon the pun) to another person if and when I find someone.

    Do any of you have any tips as to how to let go of a past sex life and lose your inhibitions with someone new? Can you give a damsel in distress some ideas? :) x

    1330109453
    Ms HKM [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 25 May 2011

    Alcohol.

    Yep, sorry to be blunt but it does the trick. Obviously, don't get drunk and put yourself in an awkward position.

    Secondly - be open from the start... tell them how you feel and then just go for it. If you're meeting people online then this option is far easier to discuss.

    Good luck!

    1330109630
    Andreia [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 60
    • Joined: 22 Jan 2012

    Heya,

    Regarding what you've asked for, I'd suggest getting the http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15336. I'm really not into masturbationg as well, and I'd prefer that my bf did it, but, you need a "me" time. Try porn or Hentai.

    As for the guy thing, I've gone through that as well, so, I suggest you to hang more with friends and family until that guy shows up. That is what happened with me at least. Hum, you have the dating sites or cam chats if you're more "needy".

    1330110701
    Serafino [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 20
    • Joined: 4 Nov 2011

    Fantastic ideas, thank you ladies! I have that Jessica Rabbit on my wishlist, just saving up for it now. I'm a very sexual person, it's just the thought of getting to know someone else and what they like and have them find out about my fetishes and stuff is kinda daunting. I definitely need to find something to keep myself satisfied until then, and I think the Jessica may be just the thing!

    Thanks again :D

    1330110961
    Andreia [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 22 Jan 2012

    IT ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! It's so damn good I come buckets to be honest. x_____xº

    I'm also very active... I know the feeling! Good lucky hun~

    1330111146
    Serafino [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 4 Nov 2011

    I'm excited for payday now! Thank you again for the tip! :D

    1330117476
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 15 Sep 2010

    Sorry to hear you're so frustrated. I can't really advise about toys, but as for meeting people, I think that socialising online has a lot to offer.

    OK, maybe you won't find the love of your life in chatrooms, (or maybe you will) but the lack of pressure should help you to get comfortable talking to people and opening up about yourself. It might even help you figure out what you want most out of a relationship, or what you're looking for in a partner. That knowledge, and the confidence to express it, will help you when you do meet people in real life.

    Until then, it's time to take charge of your own sex life! You're in the right place. . .

    All the best,

    MrMr

    1330118468
    DraeneiShaman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 70
    • Joined: 30 Jan 2012

    You're young and seem to lead a busy and exciting life! You'll meet new people you don't necessarily have to go looking for them, they will find you. It will be great when you find someone you really like and feel confident enough to tell them about your fetishes and interests.

    My OH showed me the kinkier side of sex that I hadnt explored before at all. At first he just told me about these 'really weird dreams' he was having to gauge my reaction, I'm a very open person and nothing he could have said would have shocked me, but it was a good way to see how i felt about it, and every now and then he would tell me about another dream.

    You'll know whether its right to divulge all your desires and interests :)

    As for the toys, I've always been a fan of a simple bullet, something small and so powerful excites me so much, and they are so cheap!

    Good luck! :)

    1330122814
    Serafino [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 20
    • Joined: 4 Nov 2011

    You're all wonderful, thanks so much for advice! I definitely agree that I'm in the right place. It's payday on Wednesday and I think I'm going to splash out and treat myself to some new toys. Let's hope they can quench the thirst!

    Thank you again! :) x

    1330125683
    Butters,notallsweetandinnocent! [sign in to see picture]
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    • Posts: 61
    • Joined: 30 Nov 2010

    Sorry to hear about what has happened...same thing happened to me last month..the threads on here if your curious, i got alot of help from the guys on the forum.

    im not keen on masturbation either, but i have found myself doing more because im so fustrated and pretty much gagging for it aha ive just treated myself to a wand...see if its any good :)

    in regards to finding someone and being comfortable with them, in my experience, i have started seeing someone else, it just sort of happened...we agreed to just get to know eachother but we were so hot for eachother we tried moving foreward, foreplay was great but when it came to sex, it was a complete fail, for the first attempt, we had to stop, cause i just completely erm well dried up, mood was killed...i will be honest...i think i was thinking too much...too much about the ex. hes all ive known, 3 years is along time to get over, but we attempted a second time the next day and it was still awkward but he finished and it wasnt bad, it was good, but i still think were both, not just me, still not fully comfortable, but i guess that will come in time, what im saying is, dont get down if a rebound or someone else you find fails first :/

    also, im finding it hard to start afresh, with someone new, finding out their likes/dislikes again. so your not alone!

    just enjoy some me time, talking to people helps alot, get everything off your chest

    :) x

    1330126942
    Serafino [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
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    • Joined: 4 Nov 2011

    Thank you so much. It's an awful feeling isn't it. You get so used to one person and what they like and your rhythm together that the thought of someone new is terrifying. Good to hear you're back in the saddle though and not just giving up on love and sex! :) x

    1330127470
    Serafino [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
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    • Joined: 4 Nov 2011

    I just had a quick read of your thread and it sounds exactly like what me and the ex went through. One day we were fine, had just gotten back from holiday, were engaged and planning our wedding, lived together, he was talking about saving for having kids, then 2 weeks later he came home one day and just said 'I don't love you anymore' and I felt like my world had just crumbled around me. He had a new girlfriend 15 days later, who he said was just 'to help him get over me', and he slept with me a few times behind her back over Christmas (I know, I'm an awful person) then decided to do everything he could to try and hurt me by telling me he never loved me, wished he'd never proposed, he loved his ex more than me etc etc. His mum never thought I was good enough for him because I'm not at university and she did everything she could to sabotage us so I think she maybe had a hand in nagging him to leave me, but I don't know. It's just a horrible, horrible situation and I really feel your pain. It's like everything is numb and every morning that you wake up in the bed without them and remember what has happened it hurts like hell again.
    I'm so sorry you had to go through it and you can talk to me anytime you need! x

    1330192630
    Butters,notallsweetandinnocent! [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 30 Nov 2010

    thank you :) same goes. im here if you wanna talk about anything.

    he sounds like he did just what me ex is. problem ive got is we work for the same company, so hes being cold hearted and hurtful, doing everything he can think of to hurt me, but ive started fighting back instead of letting it get to me, im not saying it doesnt, but im not gunna show him it does. i hadnt seen him for 3 weeks, until wednesday, i had to spend 5 hours training with him -_- im surprised to say but it was easier to see him than i thought. after everything i just looked at him and thought 'how the hell did i fall in love with you' and i start to remember all the shit i had to put up with, which i just 'swept under the carpet' so to speak. we were civil, but he was like jeckyll and hyde, we said hello and bye, he asked me one question then the rest of the time i didnt exist...but there was one time i was talking to another collegue and he sat there smiling and staring at me, and i was just like wtf? it was like how he used to look at me, i know that sounds daft, but i know now hes a prick and i know that things are finally getting better. i would say if it wasnt for the new guy, id probably still be in a bad place...
    in regards to the mother!dont worry! your probably right, his mom was the same, well his whole family thought they were better than everyone else annd i hate people like that.
    ive come to realise, that he did me a favour and yours probably did the same! if he could do that then you deserve better. ... "you kiss alot of frogs before you find your prince" aha

    for the fact he still slept with you means he wants his cake and to eat it too. he knows hes done wrong!

    and it does feel like your whole world is shattered, like its fell before your feet, everything you know ripped from you, its horrible and i wouldnt wish it on anyone.

    ill keep you updated with the whole getting used to someone new. it is awkward and hard :-/

    hope your okay though, sorry to blab on about me, but i find sharing experiences helpful.

    and dont worry, someone else will come along, dont go looking it doesnt work aha trust me, i signed up to a dating website, but then i just thought to myself, im just not gunna bother, im becoming a nun lmao but then out of nowhere alex came along...

    x

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