Female Domination (Femdom)

yes it is... I kinda like the look of the new wrist to collar um.. collars. Lol

someone's getting excited arent they ;) xxx

Right; this is something I've been experimenting more with recently as he's always loved it when I take control as I've come to (no pun intended) and some of my own pleasure/ excitement/ satisfaction always stems from his. I also enjoy the balance we have of neither person always being in a fixed role.

However following a couple of occasions recently, the first of which I tied him to the pull up bar, blind folded him, flogged, scratched and went down on him (he had to ask nicely) and the second of which I forbade him from moving, blindfolded and told him that I was going to please myself with him, and if he was very good I let him come.

I wasn't anticipating the kick that his response gave me, nor to enjoy the power as I did.
He confessess that he likes the quick stinging pain of sharp nails and spanking but prefers steadier more drawn out pain. The man is a wall of muscle and he has a fairly thick skin , yummy but more difficult to satisfy that way because of it, I have very sharp nails-not long, just very thin (read bendy) and sharp, but it takes a fair bit of perseverance to leave good marks on him. I want to see that face again lol.

I'd like some tips on how to proceed with this as being sexually dominated definitely is one of his kinks and apparently dominating may well be one of mine! However he isn't a submissive by nature and also gets a kick from a reversal of the above (although for health reasons we're more careful with things like ties when I am more submissive), Not meaning to imply here that all of our sexual activities are sub/dom based, the vast majority are not!

What I have in mind is to set aside a night just for us and tease him through the day so that he comes back horny but not expecting anything unusual, and be greeted by me in the halterneck version of this:

http://www.annsummers.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?productId=78472&storeId=10001&catalogId=40151&langId=-1
a red satin/ black lace thong, stockings and short black skirt

limited lighting but fairly inexperienced so I'd like suggestions on where to go from there! (economically viable ones only please ) xx

Hey Rowan

Nice to hear you are experimenting with power exchange, even just in the bedroom as it can be a lot of fun!

For a bit of Topping in the bedroom I would say (as in all power exchange/bdsm sessions/rels) that the first things to figure out are limits and a safeword. Then specific fetishes. I guess you already know what each others fetishes are

Safety is vital as you are making one of you extremely vulnerable in some way to the other and the other is getting off on it.

Choose a safe word first (see safewords thread) that isnt a word that would normaly be said at that stage/in bedroom play. Like pineapple for instance, or chihuahua. Lol

Personally I wear whatever I feel comfy in but if you want to dress up thats cool

Maybe try a bit of light orgasm control, dont let him wank until you say so, and if he disobeys then a punishment like with a punishment implement, a light flogger or paddle (see the Bondage Boutique range... also have a loyalty scheme!) this will save your nails!Or there are some vampire gloves about on the site with little prickly bits on for sensory play, or a wartenburg wheel (pin wheel) that are fun while he is tied up.

Sounds a good plan you have there! I would say if you are using home implements for bondage, make sure you can get out of them in a hurry and dont put near the neck... and take it slowly, easy to add more meanness, not so easy to back down with humility and still remain feeling Dominant or Top in a play scene!

jmo hope this helps

Mistress Cara

xxx

Thanks MC

We go by my limits always- well, so far (He only has 3 to date!) and we do nothing unless both are into it.
Dressing up is partly for him, both to delight and to tease and partly for me as I'm then less likely to chicken out and will feel beautiful rather than self conscious lol- also that satin feels amazing! We've found a few kinks and fetishes, one of which is being marked lol. but I'm sure will discover more along the way

The vampire gloves are already on my wishlist *sigh* when I win the lottery the pinwheels look interesting.

We have a light flogger, and will probably pick up something heavier fairly soon (again money dependent)

As I really am an amateur here, could you explain 'home implements for bondage'?  I wouldn't go near his neck due to being a wuss at heart!

I've got a good Idea of the general concept of what I'm aiming for and safety first, just very little idea of where to go from here with specifics Thanks MC x

Just a bump as I'm wondering how you got on, Rowan

Also for newbies and anyone who may wish to ask about 'that Dominatrix type stuff' lol

Mistress Cara

xxxx

If you want a cheaper equivalent (ish) to vampire gloves, try metal Banjo Picks. They go on each finger and can exert a lot of pain on a back. I got 6 off ebay for 6 quid. All you then need to do is be brave enough to use them.

so to answer a question from scottydog?

I'm Dominant all the time, I just temper my reactions to things according to the vanillas around me. Much the same as the way I can feel sexually aroused and be a sexual woman but not instantly jump on my partner in public, lol

I've not had much practice yet and it's a mood thing for me but enjoying experimenting, he's loving the fact I'm now confident enough even to try dominating properly- not that before I was passive or properly sub and have always enjoyed things but had major self esteem problems for a long time that are slowly diminishing!

On a few occasions apparently I've got everything right and just need to have the confidence to do so without being hesitant. It's been interesting, he's asking more frequently for me to make him come and for permission sometimes (outwith the domme scenarios) which I find curious but it's also led to him verbalising more in general during sex which is arousing and is drawing me out a little bit as well.

I got a front zipping cross back bra which is great for teasing and he can't undo the same way :) So it's a sort of work in progress really

I love being a domme, its just part of my personality. I am domineering, decisive and I know what I want and how to get it.

I just love the power you have over someone, its so sexy.

For me i love the look of a dom girl, all black latex, very sexy.
I also love being ordered to do things i wouldnt normally volenteer to do but really want to (did that make sence?)
I spend my day telling people what to do and how to do things its nice to give it all up to the one i love.