Question on male anal orgasm

Hi,

First time poster so please be gentle with me!

Straight married guy that has started to explore the idea of anal orgasms, prostate massage, etc.

I have started using a vibrating pump up dildo and njoy steel ball thingy, both bought from lovehoney.

I have got myself to a point where I am soft most of the way through, not releasing any prostate fluid but find that my bum goes in to a spasm, almost like it is trying to push out a poo. Is that an anal orgasm? With the njoy ball thing, my internal muscles were almost clamping the thing and it was difficult to continue pushing it in and out. With the blow up thing, even though I had it blown up to a very good size, my bum still managed to push it out and I couldn't stop it from happening.

So just keen to find out if that is the "norm".

Ta

Well, if you have to ask if it's an orgasm then the answer is no. A prostate orgasm is very intense - you couldn't miss it!

It sounds as if you are getting there but unfortunately it is a very fragile thing. I can't orgasm from any of the aneros type of toys and excercises but only from being pegged. With pegging of course the stimulation isn't under your control and I think that is part of what works - at least for some of us.

Thanks for the reply. I too have been trying with the aneros and struggling. I don't think I have had a prostate orgasm for sure as I have heard they are immense. But I wondered if it was possible to have some other sort in anal orgasm? It gets quite an intense feeling and then suddenly my internal muscles seem to take over. I was rather shocked they had the power to push the inflated diido out as it was pumped to a good size.

I am hoping my wife will do the pegging on me so I can experience a prostate orgasm. I have bought doc johnson vac u lock and ut arrived on Friday. Sadly the wife isn't excited at the idea so we haven't got round to it yet. I am also looking at Nexus range in hope they might be better than Aneros.

There is no doubt it takes time to experience a prostate orgasm. Initially there seem to be too many other sensations going on for you to just concentrate on the enjoyable part. I found that simply keeping a butt plug in for a gradually increasing time allowed me to get completely comfortable with the sensation of having something up there. Of course when it comes to pegging you need to get comfortable with a dildo which is an additional challenge over a butt plug as it holds you wide open for the duration.

Hopefully your wife will become an enthusiastic exponent of pegging. I think my wife was quite willing but not especially enthusiastic to  start with. However, she is now very positive about it and (thanks to 13 years experience) quite expert. She seems to enjoy the silly noises it always makes me emit. The vac-u lock system was the one we started with and the Juli Ashton kit had a well shaped dildo for the beginner as well as plugs for the wearer (making sure my wife gets good physical stimulation from pegging has been a bit of a priority with me partly because I don't think I can get fully into enjoying myself if I think she might not be)

I should perhaps say that despite my wife's expertise I still don't make it every time. In that respect a prostate orgasm is more like the female orgasm than the usual male orgasm.

cheers for the advice.

we did try a double dildo a few weeks ago but the wife didn't like the end in her. Not sure if that was due to finding it all a bit weird as to what she was doing to me so therefore not in the right frame of mind to enjoy the end in her or really didn't like it. We sent it back to lovehoney and I went for just something for me. I will hold off on getting her something in case this pegging lark doesnt get of the ground.

Do you mind me asking what make you now use?

And when you say you have a prostate orgasm, is that a dry experience? I am struggling to even get a stiffy when doing things to my self which seems strange as the dear little thing normally pops up at the drop of a hat.

We have been using a Fun Factory Share XL dildo for about 3 years now. My wife likes the feeling of the fairly large ridged plug and I find the ridges on the shaft of my end very effective. Its a pretty big toy that is none too easy for either partner but is made from a soft grade of silicone which we think helps (a good feeling of fullness but gives a bit during insertion or if one tenses up for any reason). I should say that we find a harness to be essential with all the double-ended dildos.

I reckon you have to resign yourself to the expense of trying several dildos and harnesses before you find something that works right for you. At least the experimentation is a lot of fun.

The whole thing about having/not having an erection while being pegged and whether or not the orgasm is associated with ejaculation or not is a hoot. Sometimes I get rock hard and stay hard throughout the process and re-decorate the ceiling as a finale but other times I go soft and/or don't ejaculate. Whatever way it turns out the orgasm is intense.

I'm not surprised that your wife didn't like having the other end of a double dong inside her. Use a proper harness and dildo instead.

When your anal muscles take over all by themselves it's a sign that you have started on the learning curve.

Learning to do anal (especially to anal orgasm) is quite a lengthy process. You seem to have made a good start. What you now have to is to try and keep the dildo in while your bum tries to push it out.

Make sure you are not using a jelly or a dildo coated with a colouring (as these can provoke exactly the sort of reaction you described)

One way to keep the dildo in is to have the other end pushing against an immovable object. The reaction you describe will in fact leave your bum hole more relaxed. Did you feel it with your fingers afterwards? What you need to do is to keep practising with your dildo until you can start to enjoy the sensation of having it inside.

After that you need to work up in size. A true anal orgasm comes mostly after stimulation quite deep inside the rectum with a large object. I would say 2.5 inches thick is the sort of thickness you should first aim at. The length will be well over 12 inches. 

I had been playing with my bumhole for many years before I had my first anal orgasm. Now I know how to recognize the early warning signs and how to get there but getting the first one is a long term project,

Without going into great detail, you need to be utterly relaxed, utterly accepting of having something deep inside you, and really really enjoying the feeling. So into the enjoyment of it in fact, that you open yourself entirely to the pleasurable sensations. At that moment, when you have forgotten about the outside world and anything else except how much you like being f*cked there is a space for you to experience the wonderful and overwhelming sensation of an "anal" orgasm.

Finally IMHO an anal orgasm has very little to with the prostate, but with the stimulation of the nerve endings at the top of the rectum and the muscles of the pubo-rectal sling.

Thanks gyrator and atlanta.

This is what we had http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14015
Are there better items for the wife to get enjoyment?

This is what I was using http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=6406

There are some interesting things you said Atlanta. I was relaxed and started with the item in on a low vibratin, few pumps and read a book, lol. Then when warmed up I started to start working on pumping more, vibrations going up and down, etc. after it pushed the item out first time, I positioned myself against the sofa in such a way to prevent it happening. However nothing was going to stop my bum pushing it out a second time! It was frustrating as I felt on the verge of something big happening but also a weeny bit if relief when it came out as feeling was intense and item was well blown up by then so struggling to take much more of the intensity.

As said before, I was shocked it managed to come out but I guess it is a squidgy balloon with quite a bit of give. When the same thing happened the first time, it was when using an njoy and my muscles were just clamping the thing. As I wasn't sure of what was happening I slowed up but next time I will keep going.

I don't use my fingers but I am relaxed. I was shocked at your comment that it needs to be a large object of 12.5 inches in length. Surely not?

Thanks for clearing up the prostate/anal orgasm bit.

I reckon we all differ in what we find works. I certainly have never tried to accommodate anything 2.5 inches thick. The Feeldoe Stout and Share XL are about as big as I have ever tried and I have had an orgasm from significantly smaller toys. As for the depth, the Share XL (my wife's favourite weapon) can only give about 5 inches of penetration but it's plenty for me!

There is certainly more to it than pure prostate stimulation as I find deeper penetration increases the sensation but from the similarity of my experience to the descriptions given by people of orgasming from very localised prostate stimulation I'm convinced it is a significant part of it for me.

I suggest you start with your wife's finger up your bum and go from there.

Give a soft massage to your penis and near by area and your bum and your asshole. then put up your fingers nicely and fuck your asshole. then, try it with ur wife's fingers and then toys..

atlanta wrote:

Finally IMHO an anal orgasm has very little to with the prostate, but with the stimulation of the nerve endings at the top of the rectum and the muscles of the pubo-rectal sling.

 I mostly find that painful. 

Stupidcupid wrote:

Hi,

First time poster so please be gentle with me!

Straight married guy that has started to explore the idea of anal orgasms, prostate massage, etc.

I have started using a vibrating pump up dildo and njoy steel ball thingy, both bought from lovehoney.

I have got myself to a point where I am soft most of the way through, not releasing any prostate fluid but find that my bum goes in to a spasm, almost like it is trying to push out a poo. Is that an anal orgasm? With the njoy ball thing, my internal muscles were almost clamping the thing and it was difficult to continue pushing it in and out. With the blow up thing, even though I had it blown up to a very good size, my bum still managed to push it out and I couldn't stop it from happening.

So just keen to find out if that is the "norm".

Ta

Hello Stupidcupid

I also experience the exact same thing that you described. I occasionally like to use a dildo on myself and after maybe 10 minutes of sliding it in and out I start to feel myself pushing out involuntarily. It doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable, it actually feels nice but as I continue my muscles push out harder and harder (like you said a sort of spasm) and it becomes extremely hard to even hold the toy in let alone keep pushing it in and out. This has happened to me quite a few times and I was also questioning whether it was an anal orgasm.

I have tried what atlanta suggested and literally forced the toy to stay in, but when I actually stop moving it, my muscles tend to stop pushing like crazy and relax down again. The feeling didn't intensify, it got less intense once I stopped moving it, even though I managed to keep the toy in. Do you have to keep moving the toy in and out while keeping the toy inside throughout the involuntary muscle contractions? As Stupidcupid said, it's almost impossible to keep it in while moving it. Are these involuntary muscle contractions a normal part of anal play and reaching the anal orgasm or are we meant to learn to control these muscles contractions instead of letting them take over?  Can someone please describe the feelings that they experience when they start out with a toy and build up to reach an anal orgasm?

Phew, glad it isn't just me. I had another try last night and it seems after a while my insides become sort of wet. The noises my insides make with the njoy going in and out is rather embarrassing.

Sadly my wife confessed she hated pegging me. We have tried it twice now and it was obvious she didn't like it but was trying to make out it was cool with her. In the end she confessed she cried first time as she hated it. Poor thing. So we have agreed we won't do pegging anymore but she is fine with me having private time to try things as she knows I am interested in exploring more about this.

Stupidcupid, sorry to hear that the wife does not enjoy it. I adore anal when it is performed to me (I have a massive anal fetish) but Initially I was shocked to find out that Mr Orgasmatron liked anal. It was all in my mind... We bought a couple of butpluggs, etc, we used them for several months, his anal became a routine and I got used to the idea that my man loves it. I felt a bit weird to start with. I mean, I know that Mr Orgasmatron is straight, but I always thought that if a man likes anal he is gay. I didn't want my husbant to be gay, but I did my research on the web and apparently there are thousants of men out there who are perfectly straight, though they love anal. I was also a bit reluctunt when he asked me to buy that massive harnes and dildo from Lovehoney and 'do' him. Now I peg Mr Orgasmatron (almost) every day!!! I have also developed the role of the mistress and he is my slave. All I am saying is that you may have taken things too fast with your partner. She really needs to take things easy and make sure you explain to her that because you love anal it does not mean you are gay. For a man liking anal can be a deal breaker when a woman is traditional / conservative.

How does Mr Orgasmatron experience anal orgasms? By looking at me. I make him lay on his back when I peg him. He always has an anal orgasm when we do that. He loves the idea of being humiliated I think. Oh well. I am not complaining :)

Stupidcupid wrote:

Thanks gyrator and atlanta.

 It was frustrating as I felt on the verge of something big happening but also a weeny bit if relief when it came out as feeling was intense and item was well blown up by then so struggling to take much more of the intensity.

I don't use my fingers but I am relaxed. I was shocked at your comment that it needs to be a large object of 12.5 inches in length. Surely not?

Thanks for clearing up the prostate/anal orgasm bit.

Glad that my comments helped.

One/  The feeling that something big might happen is good. Let yourself be guided by that. Eventually something big will happen, but it does take practice.

Two/  I think it's quite important to explore your anus with your fingers. It's worth feeling after a session to see how loose you have become. Exploring the territory so to speak helps you become more familiar with it and will also reveal if you have any tears, fissures or piles. It's also worthwhile feeling around inside a bit.

Three/ A 6 inch dildo will take you close to the top of the rectum. I believe (it's my own personal experience in fact) that anal play only starts to become really pleasurable when you start stimulating the top end of the rectum where it changes into the sigmoid intestine and colon.

When you get the feeling of wanting to go to the loo, it's pressure at the top end of the rectum that tells you need to go. It's by making these nerve endings work in reverse that I come to orgasm. This means that one needs something long enough to go past the top end of the rectum and into the sigmoid and beyond.

It took me time to learn this, and I must confess I only first had an orgasm this way after being fisted on at least 15 different occasions. I can now have an orgasm with a large dildo, but it has to be long, at least 2.5" thick and have some kind of bumps or ridges on it. It's something to do with the required amount of pressure combined with getting that pressure in the right place.