• Can't masturbate, Won't masturbate...

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    TanyaThomas [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 33
    • Joined: 20 Jul 2011

    Thought i'd run this one by some other folks, just for an opinion...

    My wife and I have a varied and fun sex life, and within limits, will have a go at most things once...as you do. Mutual masturbation plays a big part in foreplay, and i'd say its one of the best parts of our sexlife, although it has taken quite a while for me to 'work out' what my wife likes as she's not too communicative on that front but its been a fun journey.

    I'm the total opposite, i'm vocal, and very feedback orientated and have tried to help her help me out in the bedroom by playing fun little exploring games to discover what 'hits the spot' and have recently asked her to consider showing me what turns her on. A two fold approach, one for educational purposes and secondly as I find the thought of her masturbating for me highly visually stimulating. She loves to have me go solo for her and put on a show, but is violently against her doing it for me, to the point of having an argument.

    I'm flummoxed by her really violent reaction against it to the point I dare not even discuss it again for the possibility of cutting off any amorous intentions that evening as it'd pee her off intensely and i'm really, really confused as to why....a real head scratcher.

    There are issues with self belief and to a point, some body dysmorphia but has anyone else got this 'red-line' of not doing certain, innocuous things, with or for their partner??

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    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 460
    • Joined: 27 Jan 2009

    My wife and I have the opposite situation. She's quite happy to masturbate in front of me (which I greatly enjoy) but I feel uncomfortable about doing the same in front of her. I'd much rather engage with her in mutual masturbation, which we both find very satisfying.

    I think there's a simple reason for this difference. My wife can readily achieve multiple or even serial orgasms so, if she wishes, then her masturbation can be a lengthy activity which we can then top off with me getting my way with her, which delivers a final satisfying climax to us both. If I go solo, though, then there's no way that I can last as long, and my wife is left afterwards with her own needs still unmet. Perhaps I'm missing a trick here, but it seems to me that "her first" or simultaneous action works much better for us both.

    Incidentally, my wife wasn't always as relaxed as this -- far from it. When we were first married, she claimed never to masturbate and refused even to try it. Things changed very suddenly, though, after we had to spend a week apart. When we were reunited, I confessed to my wife that I'd been getting very hot under the collar because I had watched a porn video in which a woman masturbated in the bath, and I kept imagining my wife doing the same thing. That evening, I showed the video to my wife, who watched it with an uncertain expression on her face. When I asked her if she wanted to try the same thing, though, she said "no!" in a shocked way, so I left it at that. We tucked in for the night, but I sensed that my wife wasn't comfortable, and I cursed myself for upsetting her. After an hour or so of restlessness, my wife nudged me and said "I really need to do this". To my amazement, she then positioned herself on the bed and masturbated in front of me rapidly to a satisfying orgasm. As she did, I told my wife how beautiful and sexy she looked and sounded. She's never been shy about masturbating since then.

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