Porn in a Relationship

Just wanted to say, even if he is watching porn, it's no reflection on you.  I find men lack the imagination that a woman does, where we can think of something to get us going, men seem to need a more visual aid.  So if he does watch porn, he's not saying anything bad towards you, I am sure he loves you and loves your body, otherwise he wouldn't be there.

Try opening your mind, have an evening with him, where you are both experimenting with watching porn.  I have to say it's a massive turn on, f*cking my guy and watching porn at the same time..............plus it means I don't have to do the dirty talking lol

Blueeyes82
Completely agree with you n this, my hubby doesn't often watch porn but it happens occasionally and he always makes me aware of it. He does however have a number of mags, which to be honest he sends me out to buy for him-I love the stories anyway lol
However the mag issue came to a head last year because obviously 2 babies and I asked him to safely store them in our bedroom out of sight and prying eyes. He kept leaving them in his bathroom drawer. I was ok to start with because obviously babies are not going to find them but as the got older I knew they would so I kept reminding him and he kept forgetting. After 3 months of this back and forth I blew my top and thre the mags out. I don't think this was an over reaction but a friend thinks it was and told me kids don't know what they are looking at anyway. Personally though I would prefer my babies to have an innocent toddlerhood instead of seeing books like this and if my hubby forgets again and they ask questions what do I say.
I mean seriously it a mag, how difficult is it to remember to put them away, it's in his hand to begin with.

I agree with the child issue, I have a 4yr old and a 7 month old and I am very careful over how/where I store my 'toys'. 

Lets face it, I don't think men are as thoughtful over something like that lol

I've def realised that, the mags really bothered me. Which is a shame because we did like looking through them and the stories used to get us turned on. But although I'm def not a prude, I don't want my kids seeing this stuff, I even monitor tv and music. As they get older that's going to turn into there business but right now as babies turning toddlers I don't think it's appropriate. Hubby always looked sheepish when I found them and said "oh I forgot" as if that makes it alright.
It so annoyed me.
However sex was quite freely spoken about and rather crude in him home life while he was growing up. Some of the things I've heard are quite shocking to be honest so I think he genuinely doesn't realise his mistakes. But he's being trained. It's only when you have kids these issue rear there heads

Oh AA, sorry I did not write earlier, but I had really long day at work and was too tired.

I can understand where you are coming from. I dont mind my partner watching porn, but if it was getting too much, I would also be bit worried. I just hope that it will be all right. *hugs*

Well, I have sex toys, I have a bookshelf full of erotic fiction and I have some hentai porn stored on my mobile phone, so I certainly can't say that he is not allowed to watch porn. If it was too much then yes, I'd be worried and annoyed and concerned that he would rather have porn than me, but it's not that way at all it seems.

It was the type of porn in the history that really worried me. A live show feels far too 'real' to me.

Anyway, nothing has popped up today and I am going to gut out the laptop this afternoon while he is away to the football.

I feel a lot better this morning. Emotional Exhaustion was an understatement. And for the first time I understood what a "heavy heart" was! A flood of loathing him and jealousy turned so suddenly in to loving him more than ever. I think I have strained a ventricle!

We snuggled up watching Buffy (Evil Willow episodes) and eating chocolate! Lol!

I always say never act on anger, wait til you calm down and it doesn't seem as bad, then x

yes i agree allways stand back chill out then make a move

 Not easy when if you leave it it just simmers away in the mind until you are ready to explode! And the longer you leave it, even if you try to think rationally, the worse it gets.

I didn't explode, I just said quite firmly that I was angry and upset at him watching cam girls. Thankfully he knows that when a bad, irrational or simmered thought enters my head that I can get quite worked up about it, and after 5 years he has finally learned to not retaliate with similar measures. Fighting fire with fire never works.

Today I am the happiest girl alive though. 

Thankyou for your post btw blueeyes. I do think I get silly thoughts of being inadequate and compared to porn when I ever think of him watching porn. But I really need to work on my irrational thoughts, as noted in another thread, my confidence is pretty low which really doesn't help things, but I plan to improve this for me and our relationship over the next few months.

Getting upset about the thought of him watching regular porn is about as silly as him thinking I compare him to characters in erotic fiction or that my sex toys substitute him (and he knows better than that, so I should too.)

Same here, I simmer I don't cool down so it's always best to get it off my chest there and then or the whole thing will double in my head.
You did the right thing confronting him and I'm really happy that there was a reasonable reason for you.

AA, i lack confidence big time but in the bedroom, i know i can be who i want to be because he's there for me.  So porn etc, i reenact, it's fun and gives me a boost.  Years ago, i would have been upset if i found my guy watching porn but now i think 'ihhhh good idead, for next time's session' lol

Blueeyes82 wrote:

AA, i lack confidence big time but in the bedroom, i know i can be who i want to be because he's there for me.  So porn etc, i reenact, it's fun and gives me a boost.  Years ago, i would have been upset if i found my guy watching porn but now i think 'ihhhh good idead, for next time's session' lol

I am totally in agreement here. The first few years of a relationship is important in knowing what you can or cannot do, where the boundaries are. I too was very upset years ago when hubby used to use porn.. But we both do it, mainly alone and it sometimes helps us get worked up when we might not have done otherwise. 

 She knows i watch porn and has no problem with it why would she really,But we have never watched it together i can think of many things i want to do with her wiithout wanting to watch it with her.

Though it does sound a bit of a turn on watching it with her if she was into it aswell,But it wouldn't excite me if we were watching it and its just me getting the thrill from it. 

sorry for my typos!