Anal sex!!!!!!! But don't want to get embrassed about the mess Tips please

Yes, I'm all for doing the prep. Spontaneity is all very fine but anticipation has a lot going for it as well.

I have always used a douche and I have to say it has not infrequently removed things I wouldn't want making an appearance later in the evening!

I do quite often make a habit of daily douching, just for my own comfort, as I feel cleaner - probably more placebo than real sensation, but result is the same - so even if I'm not planning on any anal play, I'll wash myself out.  If you were concerned about gunk, but wanted to keep the spontaneity, then incorporating douching into your daily hygeine routine, or even every other day, or whatever it'd take to satisfy yourself, then it'd mean you'd be ready whenever a pounce occurs without having to plan for it specifically.

 We have tried it a few times. The oh is more into me teasing her bottom. Must say i don't mind a bit of teasing too. 

atlanta wrote:

I don't entirely agree JulieL

If there is an area of sexuality that needs preparation it's anal.

If I'm topping I really don't want to feel a bit of poo in the way, and if I'm bottoming (which I usually am) I really like the feeling that however far I let myself go with the pleasure, nothing really stinky is going to happen.

I have had "accidents" in the past and I can only say it really spoils the evening.

The rectum tends to be empty and self-cleaning - it's very rare I've found any poo in the way - but ultimately it's whatever makes you feel, as an individual, confident and relaxed before you start. If you're worried about an accident or how you present yourself to your partner, you're not going to enjoy anal sex. That's why my OH prefers to make sure she's empty and clean first, for her self-confidence.

Personally, sitting on the loo doesn't make me feel very sexy, so I'd rather just go for it, take a slight risk, and enjoy the spontaneity. If the worst happens, well, it's only poo, after all.

I tend to read through these messages all the time but never leave any of my own but I have to respond to this simply because....I really can not do this, my hubby has done anal with previous partners but I can not bring myself to allow him to do it. I'm too embarrassed and worried it will hurt. He's really good about it but he jokes about it all the time leaving me knowing that he really wants too. Am I the only one who feels like this? I sometimes feel and odd person for not trying i?

mumof2 wrote:

I tend to read through these messages all the time but never leave any of my own but I have to respond to this simply because....I really can not do this, my hubby has done anal with previous partners but I can not bring myself to allow him to do it. I'm too embarrassed and worried it will hurt. He's really good about it but he jokes about it all the time leaving me knowing that he really wants too. Am I the only one who feels like this? I sometimes feel and odd person for not trying i?

You're far from the odd one out - I'd guess that probably the majority of people don't like the ideal of anal, either because it just doesn't appeal, sexually, or through worries about discomfort or embarrassment. Some people think of their bottom in a sexual way, and others simply don't. If it's not for you, it's not for you.

I cant help but picture his face as my giant fat arse is sticking in the air lol. I should be so embarrassed after all these years and kids but really there are things about me my guy should not see. It sounds very prudish because sex wise I have always been fairly adventure orientated (up until having babies that is) but up the bot, shaving, having a shit are things women don't do lol

Mumof2 - I used to feel the same way but once you've tried it and it's done properly, you'll know for sure if you wanna do it again.  Lots of lube, teasing and being slow, is the way to go.  I won't lie, the first part of him entering is uncomfy, it doesn't hurt now, just need to push through that few seconds.  The first time I did it, i was braced for it to hurt and it did, which leads me to believe that you do really need to be relaxed.

As for douching, I'll always clean myself before my partner comes over or me going to his.  Shower fully, always clean myself in the lower regions (front/band) thoroughly.  Yes spontanious is good but hygiene is a must.  I've just purchased a douche, if i don't like it, so be it but it won't hurt to have a go.

BashfulBabe wrote:

I do quite often make a habit of daily douching, just for my own comfort, as I feel cleaner - probably more placebo than real sensation, but result is the same - so even if I'm not planning on any anal play, I'll wash myself out...

@BashfulBabe : You say you douche daily.  Have there been any negative effects of that?

I've had advice against that on other boards (which to be honest I don't totally beleive) saying there could be long term medical effects of douching more than 1-2 times/week.

It's not strictly daily, as I'm lazy. :)  But nope, not had any reaction even when there's been weeks of uninterruopted routine.

I think it all depends on how 'hard' you do it.  If you're literally just rinsing out the rectal canal with plain water, and maintaining a healthy diet and thus healthy bowels at the same time, I can't see any reason for it to upset anything.  But if you're being overly enthusiastic, or doing deep-clean enemas, or using anything more than bog-standard water, then I could see it irritating things or upsetting the microscopic locals.  And obviously if you did start feeling off, whether it's soreness/irritation or cramps or bleeding or itching or whatever, then take a break until it sorts itself, and see a doc if it doesn't clear up, usual common sense stuff.

And obviously that's coming from someone who has no history of medical stuff, so someone who suffers from IBS or frequent constipation/diarrhoea or just anything that could indicate a more delicate rectal environment might not find it as unintrusive.

Always have a shower before anal; empty the anus with an enema and pray for a poo-free contact

Blueeyes82
Don't get me wrong I think I would quite like to try it, I've had a kind of very straight upbringing and even though sex was never seen as dirty this is a totally different area. Until I met my hubby I never even gave anyone a blowjob and believe me that's quite a feet at my age when it was becoming the "in" thing to do. I very much rebelled against the whole save yourself till your married idea and I think the amount of sexual partners I've had still shock my mum even though it well below the average of my friends. I'm 31 and had sex with 4 people. Plus I didn't lose my virginity or "flower" as my mum calls it lol till I was 2 weeks away from 20 years old. I still have a lot of growing up to do about sex and I think once our kids are a bit older and stop crawling into bed with us I find a whole new ME lol

mumof2 - if you've got yourself a good bloke who's willing to try things with you at your pace then go with it as it's incredibly liberating (or so I'm finding). Just remember he's almost certainly completely and utterly besotted with you and definitely doesn't see any of the "flaws" you see in yourself. That's what I'm slowly learning with my H2B - he doesn't care that I have ickle boobs or a bit of a tummy one little bit, any more than I care that he's not built like a gladiator.  

It doesn't matter if your mum doesn't approve of how many partners you've had, or how old you were when you lost your virginity - as long as you're happy and enjoying yourself that's the main thing. Sod everyone else (apart from hubby of course)!

Can I suggest a babysitter/lock for your bedroom door? ;)

The lock sounds good but they are only 2 years old so wouldn't want to do that just yet. I probably will give it a go when I'm a bit more confident as I get my body back I know my hubby loves me for who I am but I don't love me for who I am. I HATE how I look

peeholepirate wrote:

BashfulBabe wrote:

I do quite often make a habit of daily douching, just for my own comfort, as I feel cleaner - probably more placebo than real sensation, but result is the same - so even if I'm not planning on any anal play, I'll wash myself out...

@BashfulBabe : You say you douche daily.  Have there been any negative effects of that?

I've had advice against that on other boards (which to be honest I don't totally beleive) saying there could be long term medical effects of douching more than 1-2 times/week.

I think it's important to distinguish between a full-blown enema and a douche in this regard. I believe that regular enemas especially with any additives (other than perhaps salt to make the solution isotonic) may modify the guy flora. However, I can't see an issue with fairly frequent douches of plain water.

Gyrator53 wrote:

peeholepirate wrote:

BashfulBabe wrote:

I do quite often make a habit of daily douching, just for my own comfort, as I feel cleaner - probably more placebo than real sensation, but result is the same - so even if I'm not planning on any anal play, I'll wash myself out...

@BashfulBabe : You say you douche daily.  Have there been any negative effects of that?

I've had advice against that on other boards (which to be honest I don't totally beleive) saying there could be long term medical effects of douching more than 1-2 times/week.

I think it's important to distinguish between a full-blown enema and a douche in this regard. I believe that regular enemas especially with any additives (other than perhaps salt to make the solution isotonic) may modify the guy flora. However, I can't see an issue with fairly frequent douches of plain water.

@BashfulBabe, @Gyrator53: Thanks for this feedback.  I generally only use plain water and how deep.... well that depends how keen I am and if deep anal is on the agenda.

I think it is a ligitamate concern for some people. This is an area I only have a little experience in because it takes a long time before I feel confident enough that my partner wouldn't be upset or embarassed by any mess. I have always had digestive problems and tend to cycle between constipation and the opposite, without warning. I have no pattern for going to the loo, sometimes I'll go a few days without or I might go several times a day. I've tried douching but never an enema.

I do think the key is open communication, and having trust in your partner that whatever happens they won't freak out or make you feel bad about it. 99 times of of a hundred you will be fine and enjoy it.

Don’t worry about it too much but if you have looked into it you will see a lot of "make sure its lubed" etc. and seriously don’t take that lightly especially if its first time receiving, use lots and lots of lube and get them to relax as well which is just as important, start with a finger then maybe thumb or 2 fingers then the penis. While giving my OH an erotic massage sliding up and down her with lots of oil it "accidently" slipped into her anus and she cried for about 10minuets which needless to say killed the mood a little. 

LUBE n Relax, LUBE n Relax, LUBE n Relax, LUBE n Relax, LUBE n Relax

xx

Julie_L wrote:

atlanta wrote:

I don't entirely agree JulieL

If there is an area of sexuality that needs preparation it's anal.

If I'm topping I really don't want to feel a bit of poo in the way, and if I'm bottoming (which I usually am) I really like the feeling that however far I let myself go with the pleasure, nothing really stinky is going to happen.

I have had "accidents" in the past and I can only say it really spoils the evening.

The rectum tends to be empty and self-cleaning - it's very rare I've found any poo in the way - but ultimately it's whatever makes you feel, as an individual, confident and relaxed before you start. If you're worried about an accident or how you present yourself to your partner, you're not going to enjoy anal sex. That's why my OH prefers to make sure she's empty and clean first, for her self-confidence.

Personally, sitting on the loo doesn't make me feel very sexy, so I'd rather just go for it, take a slight risk, and enjoy the spontaneity. If the worst happens, well, it's only poo, after all.

I could not possibly relax fully to take a fist if I thought that there was any chance of poo coming out. It's happened in the past and I once sprayed my partner with poo. It was pretty much a downer.

Also poo is full of bacteria and smells awful. No let me clean out for hours on end and be rewarded at the end of the day in the knowledge that what's going to come out is perfectly safe.