• Soon to be maybe LH baby?!

    ronnie-baby [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, I just thought I'd update everyone. Thanks for all your congratulations and support, I went to the early pregnancy unit at my hospital yesterday after getting alot of cramps and bleeding from wednesday evening.

    sadly I have had an early miscarriage. I cannot believe how much has been sent to try me and the oh since the middle of last year, in regards to my health and fertility, our new home move which is still pending, his job security, which thankfully now is going to be ok but I had to worry about it all through xmas and new year not knowing if he'd have a job in the new year, and now this miscarriage. I thought things were starting to look up but it seems like a black cloud is constantly over us. Somebody has cursed us maybe?

    I don't know how to move on and get through all of this. I am trying to put on a brave face but inside it's killing me and deep down the oh knows this. I was only just 5 weeks pregnant so I know it was barely much there, but it was still a life. I can't get over thinking what could've been...?

    I have spoken to the oh about how it's upset me, he says it's just unfortunate and is not any fault of my own. I can't help thinking if my endo had a part in this or something from the op I had back in july to remove it that has caused this through some scar tissue as I had it on one of the supporting ligaments of my uterus. Although the hospital said it wouldn't compromise my fertility or abilities to have children.

    The hospital a&e took my hcg bloods on wednesday and told me to go for an early scan fri as they would see a sac, but come fri they wouldn't scan as they said it was too early too see anything, (really?) and refused to take another hcg blood as my hospital result one was a hcg of 8. They did however take another test, and it was negative. I want the scan, I want to see it for myself- nothing there, I want the second blood test to confirm my falling or now non-existent pregnancy hcg level. I am not covinced, and feel as though I have just been fobbed off upon an assumption of my symptoms to which have now stopped and all within 48 hours. I didn't even see anything pass through me, so how do I know that it wasn't just a threatened miscarriage? I know my body is strong enough to maybe have got through this.

    Me and the oh are strong enough and love each other alot, we've been together for 5 years, but I'm beginning to think that love just isn't enough anymore and don't know how much more I can take before it breaks me. I am naturally a very strong person but given the events of the past 8 months, its grinding me down so much.



    ronnie-baby [sign in to see picture]
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    the last time I felt this bad was before I met the oh, I had just come out of a broken relationship, lost my home where I lived with my then oh, lost my dream job and my parents were selling the family home and going through a messy divorce. I was in such a bad state, I cannot describe what my life was like back then, but luckily before it got much too my far, my best friend managed to drag me back out of the gutter to help me rebuild my life again. I do not want to go there again, but I feel it's all not too far away going back to that very dark place. to make things worse, the oh is goign away to work for months next week, I don't have much support as his family aren't close and my family are spread out across my home town. I feel so alone.


    [suspended user]

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    stay with your family on here ronnie that's what we are for i'm sure everybody will love to help and advise you all the way ,be happy stay warm and stay with us xxxlmd

    Ilovemyman [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi i'm so sorry to hear about your MC. I just want you to know there is hope.

    I was pregnant last January, we had a scan at 12+2 and everything was fine, then we had a scan at 14 + 5 and his heart had stopped. I had to be induced with him and i thought i would never be able to feel normal again.

    I am now pregnant again and i'm going in to hospital to be induced on Thursday. I have constantly worried all through this pregnancy and can't wait to have him here safe in my arms!

    Don't give up, it is worth all of the pain! xxx

    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello and I am sorry to hear this. I know how much you wanted to get pregnant.

    My advice would be not to blame yourself. This early miscarriage usually happen because the development of the fetus went wrong, these are relatively common in the first 2-3 months. There is likely nothing wrong with you, it was just a bad luck. Usually the second pregancy after this happens goes well. It was not your falling if you had the miscarriage, as it was out of your control. I know this will not make you feel better, but it would mean majority of women failed. Only about 1/4 of fertilised eggs actually turn into pregnancy. So please do not blame it on yourself.

    Also the fetus was so small, that there was no real strain of the uterus yet, so I do not think that this was the case. These usually happen later in pregnancy. Just let yourself relax a bit

    So do not blame yourself, take time to relax. And give yourself bit of time to accept it, maybe even talk to the doctors and let them explain to you why this could happen and accept it and do not blame yourself *hug*

    boobaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello, sorry to hear your sad news.

    Your Oh is right there is nothing that you could have done, unfortunately alot of pregnancies fail very very early on just like yours did, but without these early tests alot of women wouldn't even know that they were pregnant, they would just think that they had a strange period that month.

    Don't blame yourself, just take a bit of time to pull yourself together and keep trying, what will be will be I'm afraid.

    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Ronnie So sorry to hear this, dont give up. Many of us on here have had experience of baby loss. My son was induced at 23+6 because his heart had stopped. The pain you are feeling is real and will cut deep. It isnt your fault but you need to give yourself permission to grieve for your loss.

    LMD is right about the support you will get on here, no need to feel alone you can always vent on the forum. I used to feel alone in a room full of people until I realised how many of us have been through this.

    I now have 2 beautifull little girls even with the medical issues I had with being pregnant so dont give up

    Sending you hugs and positive thoughts


    fizzy [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sorry for your loss Ronnie xx

    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    sorry to hear this hun

    suze9 [sign in to see picture]
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    So sorry to hear that, massive hugs dont seem quite enough :(

    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    So sorry to hear about your loss Ronnie. Be gentle with yourself and as pp have said there are several people on here with personal experience for support, as well as the rest of us *big hugs*

    Blue Sapphire [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you both.

    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    That's terrible news. I'm sorry this has happened after everything else. Mrs M had several early-stage miscarriages when we were trying for our son (which affected her to varying degrees each time), but the eventual successful pregnancy went smoothly right through to a straightforward delivery. The way I have looked at it is to see these early miscarriages as her body's trial runs for the real thing. I like to think that the body "knows" when an attempt at conception is worth following through on, and although the false hope it gives you can be heartbreaking, trusting your own body to do the best it can is the only way you'll be confident enough to keep trying for what you want.

    I wish you the very best of luck, not to mention health and happiness, and hope that all will eventually turn out well for you both.


    ronnie-baby [sign in to see picture]
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    thank you so much mr monster, the way you have described has made me feel so much better and more accepting of what has happened. It's such an inspiration that after so many micarriages your wife had, that her eventual successful one went so well. It does give me the courage to try again.

    My sister in law also described this in a similar way as you have to me, like a body shock that gets te body prepared for the real thing as it accepts it better the next time around as it is fully prepared for what is to come. But still, I cant help thinking what could've been, which is what upsets me the most.

    I have come through and past the self blame period, went into denial about it all, and now I can't stop thinking about what joys I could've experienced. My oh works away alot and is away now until easter time, which would have been my first scan. It's so hard thinking of this, but I grant myself lucky enough for it to have happened when it did, when he was still at home, as telling him when he come back if it'd happened whilst he was away, when he was expecting to see my first scan would've been heart wrenching for us both.

    I am talking alot about myself and my feelings, I don't want to appear selfish but I am and have considered my oh, but he seems to be taking it better and is more accepting that I am about it all, and says it will happen for us again in time and we need to look up, get past it and move on. I know it is still so early but I don't feel I ever can. I had a tattoo done todat of a teardrop with a japanese cherry blossom flower inside it, with petals falling off which flow down my spine. It's a symbol of the short life, one minute there, then no sooner we realised, it was gone and the pain it has caused, with the 5 falling petals to represent my 5 week pregnancy before our loss.


    Jo [sign in to see picture]
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    Too bad, Ronnie! I feel for you!

    But try not to despair, things do happen in life and sometimes for a reason, other times for no reason, but you are young and will go through this. And it should make you stronger! Cheer up and look forward to the next try when everything will be alright!

    All the best from me!

    ronnie-baby [sign in to see picture]
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    found my old thread! just to let you all know I have my '12 week' scan this afternoon. I am actually 13 weeks now though. Can't wait to see our little raisin but still scared after reading about missed miscarriages picked up on these routine scans. I had a viability scan at 6 weeks and all was fine and have seemed to be ok so far. apart from the worrying niggly cramps ect. Fingers crossed!


    sweetB [sign in to see picture]
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    Congratulations Ronnie, I hope your "12 week" scan goes well.

    I am also 13 weeks pregnant, due new years eve.

    Niggly cramps are normal in early pregnancy, I had awful cramps with my son but barely anything this time (I guess because my body has stretched before).


    randubugger [sign in to see picture]
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    awwww congrats to u both ronnie-baby and sweetB that is awsome news keep us all posted xx

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