• Differing sex drives!

    MarriedMan [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 5 Dec 2011

    Hi all,

    Our problem is that I have a strong sex drive but my wife does not so this can lead to frustration between us. She would like to increase this so this is not a (totally!) selfish post!

    Either through oral or full sex my wife usually orgasms and when we discuss this she tells me that she enjoys it. We have been married for over 8 years, I work long hours and we have two young children which does make life tiring so it can be hard to be in the mood.

    Question is has anyone been through this themselves or have any tips?

    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2237
    • Joined: 8 Nov 2010


    I went through a period of really low sex drive. I think there are few things you can do. Honestly, the first thing to do is talk. I know its not always easy, but if you know why her sex drive is lower, than you may try to find a way to get it up. Generally, my first advice would be helping your wife when you can. I know it can be tricky if you work long hours, but even doing the laundry or grocery shopping over the weekend would be really appreciated. If you do these, you can try to help a bit more, especially if the kids are really young, as your wife may be bit exhausted.

    Secondly maybe finding sometimes babysitter, so you can have some time off your kids and your wife can relax. And possivly go out for a dinner etc.

    To make her feel sexy, you can try to choose together some sexy lingerie, spend some time together, do kissing, massages, baths and showers together. Get some romance into everyday life is a way to go I believe and lets then see where it takes you!

    Good luck and hopefully you will find a solution.

    MarriedMan [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 5 Dec 2011

    Hi Laveila and Avrielle

    Thanks for the advice, both along similar themes and both make a lot of sense.

    we do have young children and I am working very long hours so she can work less to bring them up. This is our decision but it does often mean that "us" time is limited and I guess for me it is about the sex!

    To take action I have now ordered some massage oil and will be more aware of trying to help (it is often easy to think of my day at work and not heres with the kids) Hopfully we can help each other relax and get us back to where we once were.

    All advice still welcome!! x

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