• So, I'm having some fun with my housemate of a month and a half...

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    spacer1 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 14 Nov 2011

    After some kissing and fondling and sleeping in the same bed for a few weeks, we slept together once. That was five days ago and now, for the past few nights we are in bed, watching a movie, kissing and stuff, but when the movie's over he leaves and goes back to his bed. I'm confused. It couldn't have been that bad? I think I am pretty good, you know? ; ) But even still, it's a girl in his bed who wants to have sex with him and something has put him off. Help - it's not great for the self confidence.

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    ShaftMaster [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 17 Dec 2010

    When I was studying for my undergrad, we used to call this flatcest. The idea of sleeping with someone so close wasn't encouraged as it could lead to things getting weird.

    Maybe that's what happened here? It got a bit weird for him, and he just doesn't know what to do about it? Have you actually talked about what happened, or just assumed that because you've had sex things will carry on that way??

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    spacer1 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 14 Nov 2011

    I attempted to talk to him about it a little while ago, although, perhaps being a man, he was not keen on chatting and the phrase, 'ok, you talk and i'll listen' was actually used. So, do I maybe put this down to a one time thing and focus more on the fact that we enjoy each other's company and living in the same house is cool?

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    ShaftMaster [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    Maybe.

    Like I said, we never really encouraged it in the first place just in case, so I'm afraid I can't really speak from any experience, just trying to give an outside opinion on things.

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    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 16 Sep 2010

    I suspect, and I don't wish to tar all with the same brush but it was a little bit of a challenge and a chase and now the chase is over, he's perhaps not as invested/interested.

    It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you *at all* but sometimes its the chase and the challenge and once he got what he want's, he's decided to back off.......

    If you've tried to talk to him, and got nothing, then move on and try not to worry about him

    Angel x

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    spacer1 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 14 Nov 2011

    Yeah, cheers angel. The thing is, I was happy enough to go for the no strings, casual thing. It doesn't seem like he's going for it, so it looks like you might be right. The chase is over and he's over it. Sigh. I could've done with some regular stress release without the hassle of having a boyfriend while im doing the course. It could've all been so simple. Why do humans have to be so complicated, hey?

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    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
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    Ahhh the Fuck Buddy - having one on your doorstep is rarely a good idea! Too complicated!

    Get another one (if you want) that isnt so close to home and defo wants the same as you! x

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    smirnoff09 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 553
    • Joined: 22 Apr 2010

    Maybe he is aware this could turn complicated and wants to just be flat mates..the cold light of day can bring clarity to the impact of our actions.

    I doubt it is anything to do with you as a person just more the situation.

    See it as a good time and move on.

    Good luck hun x

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