• Great sex with someone you're not attracted to?

    1318878449
    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 772
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    Okay, so I've known this guy for a little while, he's not a good friend or anything just an aquaintance. He's really short, annoying, a bit of a sleaze, not good looking and a bit chubby. Not what I'd usually go for at all!
    Anyway, about a week ago we were out clubbing, we got a bit drunk and ended up falling into bed with each other.
    But the sex was amazing! I really didn't expect it to be because I'm not attracted to him. I was lying there afterwards feeling great, then he got up to go to the loo and turned the light on and I just looked at him thinking "how on earth could you have done that to me?!"

    Has this ever happened to anyone else? Is it normal for the sex to be great with someone you don't even like?!

    1318882783
    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1199
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2010

    Are you trolling? Sexual ability isn't a product of a chiseled chin.

    1318883075
    Miss teach&nurse [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 382
    • Joined: 23 Feb 2011

    rose hip wrote:

    Are you trolling? Sexual ability isn't a product of a chiseled chin.

    Hey rose hip

    Ummmmmmm - Dumb question number 1 - what is trolling???? x

    1318883420
    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1199
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2010

    Posting inflammatory material in order to provoke a reaction from others. Basically, someone upsetting others for his or her own entertainment.

    It's not a dumb question at all. This is something that everyone who uses the internet should be aware of.

    1318883603
    cheer_up [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 329
    • Joined: 9 Mar 2011

    Trolling: (n.) The art of posting deliberately incendiary content online to enrage other users; to be a successful troll, it is imperative that your remarks are not too obviously a total joke, and are still credible. If trolling is detected, the alarm must be sounded by the means of hollering "TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!!!"

    In this case I'd say it's not a troll, though. I'd agree that good sex is not a product of pure attraction, but attraction factors into it. I've never had that kind of sex, but it sounds like a very pleasant surprise!

    1318884159
    Miss teach&nurse [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 382
    • Joined: 23 Feb 2011

    Oh ok......

    Thank u rose hip and cheer up xxx

    1318885238
    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 772
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    Well firstly, thank you for enlightening me about what a troll is :) and no this was a genuine question!

    As a recently single girl I'm quite inexperienced in casual sex. When I was with my ex the sex was great because I had nothing to compare it to, we had plenty of time to get to know what each other liked and didn't like and he was an attractive guy. Yet after a while I started to find him unattractive and the sex life dwindled.

    I understand that being good in bed isn't due to being good looking! I was just taken aback by the fact that someone who I am not attracted to whatsoever could make me feel that way.

    1318888202
    smirnoff09 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 573
    • Joined: 22 Apr 2010

    Looks are a funny thing as one person's frog is another person's prince.

    Attractionis alsomore about looks to me it is about that connection, sounds like you had some connection.

    1318888920
    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1199
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2010

    Men tend not to rate me as all that attractive, yet I'm considered good in bed.

    I've only had one 'casual' encounter. He ticked all the boxes for conventional appearance-based 'attractiveness', but was a lousy lover. Not going to draw any conclusions from the single data point though.

    1318889750
    jammy_dodger [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 9
    • Joined: 8 Dec 2010

    Moral of the story: Don't judge a book by its cover etc?

    1318894598
    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 772
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    I'm not completely shallow, I can appreciate someone with a good personality over good looks. But even personality wise he's really annoying and not the kinda guy I would usually want to be around! I just don't get it. I keep thinking about him and I don't know what to do!

    1318897506
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 721
    • Joined: 15 Sep 2010

    I think a lot of what makes a good lover is (supposed to be) sensitivity and responding to your partner's cues. When people don't seem to possess these "people skills" outside the bedroom, we tend to find them offputting or brash.

    So maybe they have some "moves" that don't rely on actually being that in tune with their partner? Or you just got lucky and found someone whose natural style meshed with yours?

    1319013456
    Dee_licious333 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1176
    • Joined: 16 Feb 2011

    Yes, i have had amazing sex with a guy i met online some years ago. I wasnt physically attracted to him at all (he was short and not really anything to look at) - but i spent a weekend with him and i ended up with sore knees (say no more lol). He was a vegetarian also and i had no problem swallowing his very tasty cum. We had sex everywhere we could and he was pretty amazing.... in the bedroom. Unfortunately he suffered with clinical depression but that wasnt the reason it didnt work. I do like tall men and i have to find something attractive about them and as much as sex was out of this world .. i didnt feel/ couldnt feel attracted to him. Shame.

    1319030530
    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 772
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    Well I'm glad I'm not the only one. It does make more sense to me now that sexual attraction is more of a primal thing rather than physical attraction. I just didn't think that something so "not" could be so hot in the bedroom!

    Not that I've been with many guys at all, but I've been disappointed in bed by guys who I've found really attractive!

    Well it looks like I've found myself a fuck buddy anyway ;) I just don't know if it will feel any different when there's less alcohol / more light involved!

    1319031927
    Jo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 88
    • Joined: 23 Apr 2009

    I would call it a charm what you define as a primal instinct.

    A charming person is not necessarily an conventionally attractive person but has something that makes them amiable, someone you really fell like cuddling with, although you cannot explain where this magnetism comes from.

    My greatest sex has been not with the most beautiful girl I have been with. It has to do with how you respond to your partner, your feelings what his/her desire is, how you please him/her, so evidently, your newly found 'fuck buddy' knows all these... Enjoy him!!!

    1319046102
    Jo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 88
    • Joined: 23 Apr 2009

    Hello Hella, if I slept with everyone who happened to turn me on, I would find myself sleeping with more girls than the number of nights available.

    In your case in that particular situation you mention, you were seduced somehow and all you remember is the smell (so you were trully swept off your feet), but I bet there must have been more to it than just the smile. The way he glanced at you, suttle smile, delicate move, your predisposition at that moment, etc etc..Perhaps that charm I am talking about.

    What kind of smell turns you on BTW? Do you have it at Lovehoney? If so, I will pick it up off you personally

    1319046491
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3512
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    I can see the point being made and I don't think the assumption is that attractive people are better at sex - more so that if you're attracted to someone you're more likely to be better able to "get in to" the sex and enjoy it more. But as mentioned - this definitely isn't always the case and it comes alongside this phenomenon that we're usually more attracted to people we like as people so there's a whole load of things involved!

    Adx

    1319106257
    Dee_licious333 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1176
    • Joined: 16 Feb 2011

    Jo the guy i was with .... was not charming at all! so i also disagree with you. Hella i kinda agree with you, it could be a smile, the smell, the way they interact ... or .. you just need a good ole fuck!! lol

    1319129065
    Jo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 88
    • Joined: 23 Apr 2009

    Lovehoney - Hella wrote:


    Lovehoney Gemma and I are both heavily influenced by smell and sniff pretty much anything we come into contact with. Definitely something in it.

    Alright, then, but seriosuly, do you sell smelly substances at LH specifically for the purposes of turn on? I would be happy to experiment a little!

    If you don't have them, then that's an idea of broading your variety.

    I remember reading an article many years ago about certain smells that can turn any woman on, regardless of the looks of the guy, but it wasn't something I took seriosly (I usually rely on my appearance and manners, not on magical smells). It was just one of those attempts to exploit peoples' desires and sexuality.

    But on the face of it, you have experienced it for real....

    1319132645
    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 772
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    Jo wrote:

    I would call it a charm what you define as a primal instinct.

    A charming person is not necessarily an conventionally attractive person but has something that makes them amiable, someone you really fell like cuddling with, although you cannot explain where this magnetism comes from.

    My greatest sex has been not with the most beautiful girl I have been with. It has to do with how you respond to your partner, your feelings what his/her desire is, how you please him/her, so evidently, your newly found 'fuck buddy' knows all these... Enjoy him!!!

    Hrmm yeah I guess he is kind of charming in a way... But it's the way that he kept lifting me up and flipping me over during sex that has my mind occupied! Have never, ever been fucked like that before. Must stop thinking about it!!!!!

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.