• Is having an orgasm always important?

    1318793650
    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 218
    • Joined: 7 Aug 2008

    Have to say I no longer need to come all the time, like to make sure my partner comes and she is a little concerned if I don't but there is a limit to how many times a night you can come.

    I guess none of us should think of it as the holy grail but just enjoy our partner's body and try and make sure they enjoy us?

    1318799703
    Pixieking [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 672
    • Joined: 31 Aug 2010

    I'm starting to realize where orgasm stands for me, as for the first time ever I am finding that I'm not orgasming as easily as I used to be able to due to medication i'm on. I can still orgasm, but it's not as easy. Alternately, i'm finding that it Is becomming easier to get close to orgasms through prostate play.

    I think that orgasm is very important to me for masturbation. As for sex, well, I haven't been in a sexual relation for so long I can't really quantify, but I think that for sex it becomes less important because it's more about intimacy than getting to an orgasm. I learned a long time ago now that I can get more sexual pleasure more easily through solo play, but I can't get the same intimacy, closeness or sense of satisfaction of making another person feel good.

    1318800203
    glitter&gold [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 467
    • Joined: 31 Jul 2010

    For me definitely no. Don't get me wrong, if I can manage to have one, great!! But I have a lot of trouble coming to orgasm anyway so I just like to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about whether or not I come.

    Past partners have gotten frustrated if I don't. They either blame themselves/think they did somethng wrong or blame me & tell me I'm frigid.

    When actually, I love the sex just as much as the sparkly finish!!

    1318807930
    smirnoff09 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 609
    • Joined: 22 Apr 2010

    I think as long as both are happy and satisfied it doesn't matter but left feeling like you have not had a full experince can be so frustrating.

    I can't remember the last time i did not orgasm so for me it must be important...though this was not always the case.

    1318878693
    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 772
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    It is important but it's not the only thing that matters. I think you can still have really good, satisfying sex without having an orgasm.

    1318896134
    bazcam1981 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2011

    I think sex and orgasms are equal in importance and as such I can happily enjoy foreplay/sex without the need to orgasm, also during sex my partner usually has more than one orgasm before I do and I've known myself to stop sex after she has come a few times and I've not which doesn't really bother me, I also have the strange ability to orgasm without actually ejaculating, not sure if anyone else can do this but is kinda cool!

    1318896627
    Ginger Ninja Minge [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 198
    • Joined: 20 Aug 2011

    I suppose we're all agreed on saying no, then?

    Well, perhaps except from DRA(gon?).

    1318899976
    missuscam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 14 Oct 2011

    bazcam1981 wrote:

    I think sex and orgasms are equal in importance and as such I can happily enjoy foreplay/sex without the need to orgasm, also during sex my partner usually has more than one orgasm before I do and I've known myself to stop sex after she has come a few times and I've not which doesn't really bother me, I also have the strange ability to orgasm without actually ejaculating, not sure if anyone else can do this but is kinda cool!

    or u say i have to climax before u want to anyway and there good :)

    1318900127
    missuscam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 14 Oct 2011

    i dont think u have to orgasm during sex for it to be good i much prefer the build up nad gettin close but hate it when im not allowed to sometimes, i think its important that my partner climaxes not me :)

    1318900154
    bazcam1981 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2011

    missuscam wrote:

    bazcam1981 wrote:

    I think sex and orgasms are equal in importance and as such I can happily enjoy foreplay/sex without the need to orgasm, also during sex my partner usually has more than one orgasm before I do and I've known myself to stop sex after she has come a few times and I've not which doesn't really bother me, I also have the strange ability to orgasm without actually ejaculating, not sure if anyone else can do this but is kinda cool!

    or u say i have to climax before u want to anyway and there good :)

    yea i like it better when you orgasm before I do and I'm not too fussed if I don't come, it keeps me horny and wanting more later anyway!

    1318900379
    missuscam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 14 Oct 2011

    bazcam1981 wrote:

    missuscam wrote:

    bazcam1981 wrote:

    I think sex and orgasms are equal in importance and as such I can happily enjoy foreplay/sex without the need to orgasm, also during sex my partner usually has more than one orgasm before I do and I've known myself to stop sex after she has come a few times and I've not which doesn't really bother me, I also have the strange ability to orgasm without actually ejaculating, not sure if anyone else can do this but is kinda cool!

    or u say i have to climax before u want to anyway and there good :)

    yea i like it better when you orgasm before I do and I'm not too fussed if I don't come, it keeps me horny and wanting more later anyway!

    and when we do get more its better like i said i lie the build up and teasing better sometimes :))

    1318974409
    atlanta [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 289
    • Joined: 9 Apr 2009

    I answered no, but the fact is we both masturbate to orgasm almost every night before falling asleep.

    If we are having a session (with her fisting me) I will feel frustrated if I don't have an orgasm while being fisted. In these sessions I will usually lick her to orgasm.

    1319048783
    Jo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 88
    • Joined: 23 Apr 2009

    missuscam wrote:

    i dont think u have to orgasm during sex for it to be good .... i think its important that my partner climaxes not me :)

    I agree fullheartedly!

    1319055198
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4261
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    missuscam wrote:

    i dont think u have to orgasm during sex for it to be good i much prefer the build up nad gettin close but hate it when im not allowed to sometimes, i think its important that my partner climaxes not me :)

    See for me - I'd hate if my partner thought like that - I find it incredibly difficult to orgasm and half the time don't even like it (due to the previously mentioned strong muscles causing cramp like pains) so my partner's understanding that orgasm really isn't important to me takes the pressure off a lot! I can relax and know that he doesn't care if I don't orgasm - as long as I'm satisfied over all!

    Adx

    1319111590
    Badgington [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2011

    I think it completely depends on the situation; while the vast majority of the time I'd say a resounding no both for male and female orgasm, I think there are certain situations that I have had with other halves where the sole object has been to make each other cum as soon as possible- it's fun!

    However, like I, and many of the others on here have said, the vast majority of the time it's all about the entire experience. Sometimes the orgasm can be a manifestation of some absolutely mind-blowing sex, but equally you can have very average sex and still orgasm, just because there isn't that connection between the participants.

    Some of the best sex I've had I didn't orgasm, because we've both been wanting it to go on for so long, exploring each other's bodies that we sex ourselves almost to sleep!

    1319468731
    Jo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 88
    • Joined: 23 Apr 2009

    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    missuscam wrote:

    i dont think u have to orgasm during sex for it to be good i much prefer the build up nad gettin close but hate it when im not allowed to sometimes, i think its important that my partner climaxes not me :)

    See for me - I'd hate if my partner thought like that - I find it incredibly difficult to orgasm and half the time don't even like it (due to the previously mentioned strong muscles causing cramp like pains) so my partner's understanding that orgasm really isn't important to me takes the pressure off a lot! I can relax and know that he doesn't care if I don't orgasm - as long as I'm satisfied over all!

    Adx

    The way I understood 'missuscam' was that she would give preference to her partner's climaxing, not to hers. I feel sexually satisfied just by seeing how my partner enjoys the love making and if and when she reaches orgasm, as if I have. I do not have to ejaculate in order to feel satisfied. Her pleasure is my pleasure. I think sometimes, that guys like me cannot rape - if I am not desired, I have not interest in having sex at all.

    Obviously , in your situation, Adx, if your parner waited for you to orgasm , this may lead to frustration to both of you.

    I had a GF, she had similar problems with spasm following an encounter with her first lover.Well, they had tried it and nothing happened, as she was so tense, he could't even penetrate her. When we got together, indeed she was tense at the beginning, but after the second night, she relaxed fully and for 3 years she enjoyed every bit of it, like a nymphomaniac, having multiple orgasms. I suppose it has to do with how your partner relates to you and predisposes you as well as your own state of mind....

    1319471670
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2295
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2008

    to be honest it is.

    during sex with another person it dosen't really matter if they cause it, it's more the intamacy of having them there.

    1319485319
    fizzy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2620
    • Joined: 31 Oct 2010

    this has had me thinking for a while now and i still don't have an answer. for me i can only remeber not having an orgasm once during sex and that was my first time. i will always make sure that my husband orgasms its just somethig iv'e allways done.

    1319487611
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4261
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    Jo wrote:

    I suppose it has to do with how your partner relates to you and predisposes you as well as your own state of mind....

    I know this isn't how you meant it - but to me that sounds like you think my OH and I don't relate to one another or that I'm in the wrong frame of mind. Which absolutely is not the case in our situation.

    There are plenty of reasons women don't enjoy orgasms - in my case, it's a medical reason along with all the issues that come with any medical condition!

    Adx

    1319550354
    Jo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 88
    • Joined: 23 Apr 2009

    Thank you Adx for giving my comment the benefit of the doubt!

    Of course there could be many reasons and causes with the same result. When I said 'you' , 'your partner' I meant that 'one's experiences may be caused by , etc, etc, or that 'one's partner' may need a little readjusting , etc, that is, I did not talk to you, Adx at that particular sentence.

    I shared my experience with an ex, which although was prompted by your previous post, was not directed to you, but meant to help whomever might find it applicable in their circumstances.In your case - obviously not.

    It looks like I hijacked the thread, so let's go back to

    Is having an orgasm always important?

    My short answer is: No, it is not.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.