Anal concerns

I couldn't really think of an appropriate title for this, as it's a bit of an unusual question!

Okay, so I recently bought some anal beads, but having been home for the summer, I didn't really dare use them. The idea of my parents possibly coming home half way through seriously put me off! Anyway, I moved back into university halls the other day, so figured I'd try them. Door locked and bolted, naturally!

The thing is, I have Crohn's Disease (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crohn's_disease), and it's been playing up a little lately, meaning that when I go to the toilet (for a "number two"), I tend to bleed a lot and experience pain. Since this is kind of a common thing lately and I've learned to ignore it, it didn't occur to me that it might be a problem.

Anyway, I used the beads, and it was a little uncomfortable at first but otherwise fine. When I removed them I noticed there was something on them, jumped to the most obvious conclusion and cursed myself for not ordering and using a douche. But when I went to wash them, it turned out it was nothing of the sort - rather blood and some mucus (which is often a result of the active sores).

I don't think I've done any real damage or anything - my abdomen is a bit sore now, but it just feels like the Crohn's normally does when it's a bit angry. My concern is with the fact that there is usually some degree of pain and bleeding with the disease, even as it's now better than it used to be. Clearly I shouldn't have attempted this today, but does that mean I can't try anal toys and such unless I'm fully in remission? I don't know that that'll actually happen, at least not for a good few years.

hello,

I think you should address this issue with your GP to ask what he thinks. But I would try to avoid the beads if you are hurting. I recently tore not because of anal, but after not going to toilet for a week and then it was erh still hard and I tore myself. I did not even dare to put a finger in, avoided anything to do with anal. I had to wait some time until I was completely all right. And I think that with Crohn disease you may have issues trying to do anal.

But as I said, try to discuss it with your GP.

If in doubt then go and discuss it with your GP, it is the only sensible thing to do in your situation. If you don't then you will always have a nagging doubt in the back of your mind and you wont be able to enjoy it properly anyway.

Talk to your gastro. It's unlikely to be a concern that has never arisen with a patient before. Personally I've been too scared to try- or to ask, and have psychological barriers to overcome before it would be wise to attempt anything anal (procedure related.)
I AM fully in remission and purely for practical reasons would suggest that you refrain from experimenting or using beads when you are not well controlled(unless of course this has been a 20 year long flare up and you are losing patience :P ) Sometimes when removed they have a 'run for the toilet' effect on those without bowel problems, and if you experience anal/ rectal pain already it would be very difficult to judge if something had been damaged, or if the toy was at a bad angle etc. If after seeing your consultant or talking to the nurse you are confident that it is safe (or at least a calculated risk) then I wish you all the best in future anal adventures.

NOTE: The use of anaesthetising creams is NOT recommended as this can prevent the user from correcting position of toy or stopping when something is painful. Lube, relaxation and more lube seem to be what the experienced section of OA advocate.

Thanks for the replies, guys.

Yeah, I probably will try talking to my doctor about it. I'd rather not bring it up with the GP as I don't really know her (we're a military family, so we move rather a lot), but I could talk to my specialist when I next see him. I know it's a pathetic thing to worry about really, as he'll hardly care, but I'm embarrassed at the thought of bringing it up. Guess I'll just have to grin and bear it lol.

At any rate I'll certainly not try the beads or anything there again, until all pain has gone at the very least. The beads'll be getting packed away, I think! I just can't believe I was so silly as to not think that it might not be a good idea. I suppose when the discomfort is there pretty much constantly, it gets tuned out.

@Rowan: Yeah, that was what I was worried might be the advice. XD It's not been quite that long, though almost nine years now! I'm twenty in a couple of months, and started being ill when I was eleven. It's been pretty much constant, with stress making it worse now and then, but it has been getting better. I've heard that as you age it tends to settle down, which seemed to happen with my brother, so fingers crossed! And oh gosh, I know. I wouldn't dream of using a numbing cream or anything. I just used loads a lube designed for anal use.

Hi Lonewolf,

It's not pathetic at all, your concerns are very sensible and justified.

It just occurred to me, if you were worried about talking to your specialist, you could always try phoning NHS Direct (0845 4647) or using an NHS drop in centre. It's more anonymous, you could just say you have some concerns of a private/delicate nature related to your condition and they should be able to put you in touch with a specialist. You shouldn't have to go into details at the reception desk. At any rate, whatever advice you get from them, you don't need to deal with them again, and if you don't have any luck, there's nothing lost either.

Personally, I would always advise people to avoid penetrative activities if they have any soreness, pain or bleeding. Hope this helps :)

Thank you Postillionager, that is hugely useful! I didn't even know that number existed, to be honest. It'd be so much better to call them and discuss it over the phone/drop in to talk about it than to blush through a conversation with my specialist, who I have to see every six months or so!

I'll definitely have a look at calling them within the next few days. Thank you!

great idea postillionager sometimes its easyer to talk to astranger over the phone about delicate problems  then it is in person i hope you get sorted  lonewolf.

great idea postillionager sometimes its easyer to talk to astranger over the phone about delicate problems  then it is in person i hope you get sorted  lonewolf.

great idea postillionager sometimes its easyer to talk to astranger over the phone about delicate problems  then it is in person i hope you get sorted  lonewolf.

Your very sensible to raise this issue of such a private and personal problem, as a nurse I know that mucus is related to some foods and certain conditions, some people produce more than others.

Blood on the other hand is not, even with your condition you should still seek medical advice, it sounds like you have a flare-up as Im sure your fully aware.

Drs have heard everything believe me (and nurses) but its still awkward to mention the anal subject; but there are many drs sites on the internet where its much more private and you can be anonymous; but I am also sure they will advise you not have anal sex at anytime with Crohn's.

Anything that could rub against the inner walls could trigger a flare-up and ulceration.

To be honest anal sex should be fun and enjoyable and you certainly shouldnt feel any discomfort; theres so any other ways of enjoying sex than anal.

Goodluck and hope this flare-up calms down soon, im sure youve answered a question that other sufferers have wanted to know.

I would think this may have been discussed on many Crohns disease forums before as there must be tons of people who engage in regular anal play and they may have asked the question before to their specialist.

My gut feeling is that you shouldn't whilst you have a flair up. I'd imagine that that the inflammation will risk causing damage but also increase the risk of infection no matter how clean you are.

Many hospitals have specialist nurses that you can ring up. If you don't their number ring the main switchboard and ask for the crohns specialist nurses. That way you can ask discretely over the phone which might be easier than face to face.

Hope this helps

My only advice would be to avoid any anal play when you are having flare ups and stick to quite shallow penetration otherwise. Anal beads can be quite long, and potentially you'll be rubbing up a lot of tissue that you wont even be feeling properly.

If you stick to maybe about four inches in it would reduce the surface area being distrubed by a lot.

My partner has similar to this, ulcerative colitis, he doesn't often have flair-ups now so we are able to some anal play, either one to two fingers or a thin toy. 

When he has a flair-up or a bad day he does have symptons similar to yours, he just takes it easy for a few days and it usually goes away.

I would certainly follow the advise of others who have posted and seek medical attention, bleeding is certainly not good. I don't think that anal beads could hurt the general public or those without bowl issues, however as Blondii pointed out, they may irritate the walls.

I hope this issue is sorted out soon, also you can have a lot of pleasure from anal and prostate stimulation but it is certainly not worth damaging yourself for.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.