• Tiny penis, need advice

    1315694813
    plowman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 10 Sep 2011

    silveroldie - can't see how to quote on this forum (maybe buttons are not showing up on my phone) but this really summed up our situation:

    "The more you try to get her to feel your penis , the more it seems to me that you are both encouraging failure - there's a degree of fear there ' Will she feel me  ? can I get deep enough ? " and on her side it's " Oh he's entering me - I can't really feel him - go deeper  I want to feel him ' and then you both feel " Argh - it's no good AGAIN " "

    I completely agree with your point about almost starting from scratch again - I just wish either of us had an idea about what to do! I guess we just need to get in a room together with no promises or expectations and see what happens. The foot thing was a kind of attempt to get away from intercourse and standard 'procedure' but I almost think both of us have the opinion that if 'x' involves my penis, then 'x' won't work...

    Seriously, this rut has dominated our thinking for ages, so although I know there aren't any magic answers, I would really appreciate some suggestions as I think our 'sexual creativity' as it were has been crushed :-(

    Again, thanks to all replies - I think each one has helped in its way.

    1315727565
    Chimera [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 143
    • Joined: 23 May 2010

    I'm really sorry I have no practical help to give you. I feel for you, and it sounds a very upsetting situation to be in. But I do really think you need to get away from thinking that your penis is the complete problem though. So often on this thread you've referred to it as your 'tiny penis' - surely it'd help your self esteem more that after having acknowledged the problem once, it just became your "penis". It's the part that gives you a lot of pleasure, and I feel like you're belittling yourself and it every time you talk about it. Just because it's below average (and hey, loads of men's are, they just haven't got the bravery to talk about it) doesn't mean you have to systemically abuse yourself! Be proud you have one, I'm envious for a start ;) (Honestly, carrying that around rather than the weights that dare call themselves breasts on my chest? I'm envious.)

    Does she like you fingering her? Perhaps that might give her some relief? (Sometimes my OH's fingers feel thicker and longer than his penis, even though I know they aren't, just because of how he uses them.) You could lie close to each other, kissing, with your fingers inside her.. Do you think that might help her with the intimacy she's craving? Perhaps licking your fingers afterwards, with obvious sexual enjoyment, might show her how much you crave to give her oral as well, and might help a little if one of her inhibitions is whether her own taste is bad.

    If you're looking to take your sexual life back to the start, how about just some full length massages? Some massage oil, or a massage candle (personally I recommend both, using the oil while you wait for the massage candle to heat up - skin safe hot oil feels fantastic!) and slowly massage down the neck, shoulders, back, bottom, tops of thighs.. One of my sexual triggers is having my bottom massaged. Because it doesn't inplicitly say it's a sexual activity, or demand that your penis is required, perhaps you both would find it more relaxing than something overtly sexual. Also, because you'd be giving her a massage (which is quite a one way thing occasionally, although still very pleasurable for the giver in my experience) she may feel like you're focusing on her pleasure and nothing else, which might cheer her up if relative amounts of orgasms is actually an issue for her.

    Maybe buying some nice lingerie for her would also be good? Just a random, one off present that she wasn't expecting. No mention of sex, just see if she decides to wear it. Don't mention it unless she brings it up, but then show obvious glee if she does wear it. Perhaps she'll even surprise you in the bedroom with it? Often a gorgeous new piece of underwear can make me feel pretty horny, and again because you've chosen it for her, it will make her feel really special and loved. Pretty red ribbon, a heart shaped tag with 'I love you' on it? It's a nice way to change a negative atmosphere.

    Don't focus on the orgasm. I don't orgasm particularly, but me and my OH have a really successful sex life. We'll have days where we just can't have sex because his stomach is bad, or my joints are or whatever - every couple has issues, but if you can work them out, everything is pretty lovely. I wish you all the luck I can; it sounds like you're a lovely man who is really trying to get things to a better sexual point for the fulfillment of both parties. She's lucky to have you.

    1315728380
    Chimera [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 143
    • Joined: 23 May 2010

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Well said Chimera! xx

    Thank you! <3 Great shout on the We-Vibe, we've got one and it's probably my favourite toy to use at the moment. Of course if she's having problems taking your girth occasionally, some lube and excitement will perhaps be helpful! (It's honestly not too thick though, I'm very tight and sometimes have problems taking my OH and I've never had a problem with it.)

    1315733100
    Carousel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 274
    • Joined: 18 Aug 2009

    Hi Plowman,

    I would recommend that if you're considering getting some form of toy, go for something that doesn't resemble a penis, like an elegant glass toy or a smooth silicone one. I think this would help both of you mentally - you're not satisfying her with a 'fake penis' and she's not replacing you with a 'fake penis'.

    A lovely glass toy could be given as a present to her, maybe with some nice bubble bath or something else that'd be a treat for her.

    I do think that it's unfair to highlight any insecurities you have, but if you're willing, a gesture like this could be a good kick start.

    Somehow, you must both try to see that neither of you are failing if a sexual act doesn't finish in orgasm and just enjoy the learning and the physical intamacy.

    If you're considering toys, I would suggest looking at these...

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14702

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=6111

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11683

    MrsPx

    1315845014
    plowman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 10 Sep 2011

    Thank you again for the replies.

    I have discussed some of the options with my girlfriend and she is prepared to try a penis extender, this one in fact:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2479

    Seems to have a lot of good reviews - I did suggest smaller extenders but she said she didn't want to risk it not being enough, so we went with this one. 10 inches sounds quite large but she seems confident. That's over three times bigger than me but we once bought a vibrator from Love Honey (a while ago now) that was a bit closer to my size and she said it didn't do much, so I think that may explain why she is eager for length (or maybe she's a secret fan of porn!).

    One of the male reviews mentioned it made them feel big, and I have to admit being a little excited at the prospect of looking down and seeing a decent sized penis between my legs! Hopefully this will overcome the not insignificant intimidation I feel at the size difference between the extender and my own penis :(

    Will let you all know how it goes, and I will take on board the comments about starting again and re-evaluating the 'mood' of our bedroom. I feel this is good advice, so thank you.

    1315851782
    MissTerryCleavage [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1136
    • Joined: 1 Feb 2010

    plowman wrote:

    Thank you again for the replies.

    I have discussed some of the options with my girlfriend and she is prepared to try a penis extender, this one in fact:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2479

    Seems to have a lot of good reviews - I did suggest smaller extenders but she said she didn't want to risk it not being enough, so we went with this one. 10 inches sounds quite large but she seems confident. That's over three times bigger than me but we once bought a vibrator from Love Honey (a while ago now) that was a bit closer to my size and she said it didn't do much, so I think that may explain why she is eager for length (or maybe she's a secret fan of porn!).

    One of the male reviews mentioned it made them feel big, and I have to admit being a little excited at the prospect of looking down and seeing a decent sized penis between my legs! Hopefully this will overcome the not insignificant intimidation I feel at the size difference between the extender and my own penis :(

    Will let you all know how it goes, and I will take on board the comments about starting again and re-evaluating the 'mood' of our bedroom. I feel this is good advice, so thank you.

    Having read through the thread, just wanted to wish you well, however, your GF's comment ^^^ seems very insensitive to me, and you may want to discuss with her how her casual words affect your mentality? Loose comments like the one above really can't help you feel any better about yourself and she should perhaps show more sensitivity?

    It's great you are wanting to make things better for her, but equally she should want to help you too. Penis size really isn't everything at all, there is so much more to sex than just penetration.

    I hope this extender and some of the other ideas already suggested helps kick start you both and you can work together to make things better, good luck :)

    1316464494
    Janny [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 716
    • Joined: 17 May 2011

    Just make sure you are really good with your tounge, and when penetration happens, if you are on top, make sure your pubic bone rubs against her clit. If it's from behind, use your fingers.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.