• confidence vs experience

    Kawada87 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 31 Jan 2010

    Hi all, I have been with my OH for 2 and a half years now and the sex we have is great, we are both adventurous people and both enjoy sex alot. I have some confidence issue with sex because my OH is the first and only person I have had sex with while she has had several sexual partners before me. I wanted to know if anyone else feels the same way if they haven't had any sexual partners before while their OH has.

    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3579
    • Joined: 18 Apr 2010

    I find that with experience comes sexual confidence.

    I don't have a lot of self confidence but that is a different sort confidence.

    I have one partner (my first serious and sexual one) but I have played and dominated. Before that, I was afraid of not doing things right, he'd already had a sexual partner before me.

    I am not as worried now, I just think that is about us, not about experience.

    HellsBells72 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 106
    • Joined: 29 Sep 2010


    Through my late teens and early 20s I had more "short" relationships and "one night stands" than I care to recall - in total - about 20. But I met my (now ex) husband when I was 26, and there's been him and one other since.

    In the earlier years together things were ok, like the proverbial bunnies we should be, I probably had been more sexually active than him prior to us meeting, but after years of abuse and him being unfaithful I fell out of love with him after just 2 years of marriage, but due to me having such strong beliefs in the vows that I made I decided I was going to make it work because that's what I'd vowed to do. For the remaining 6 years of our marriage, I think we had sex less than 10 times, and to be honest, I could have lived without it, I only did it to get pregnant. I felt like a desert. But I didn't ever want to have sex again - I'd put up a huge great big wall and had enormous confidence issues.

    Then, I found the courage to leave and take the kids with me and met someone wonderful. Almost immediately, all my confidence issues diminished, yes I was still a little neurotic, but show me a woman that isn't a little neurotic.

    The point is - he gave me confidence and opened my eyes and made me realise that I'm a fantastic lover and more than that a beautiful person.

    twinkle154 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 9 Mar 2011

    Everyone is different and it's how your partner makes you feel that's important. I had a couple of partners before my now ex husband but I was his first. When we split up I went several years before dating again and now after losing a bit of weight and in my early 40's my confidence is boosted and I have experience.

    Everyone brings their own experiences it's how we learn new things.

    I'm glad that you found someone who treats you right and has helped you realise that you are a beautiful person.

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