New partner is circumcised and has no feeling in his penis - help?!

I've recently started a relationshp with a great guy, but having never been with a circumcised man before I was a bit taken aback (and a bit disheartened to be honest) to find just how unsensitive he is - nothing I try with my hands or mouth seems to make any difference and he doesn't really get much feeling from intercourse either. He can just about make himself orgasm but only after several hours of very patient masturbation using a movement which I have tried my hardest to copy but can't seem to 'pull it off' as it were. His last couple of relationships have gone wrong and ended mainly because of the problems he has enjoying sex and the other girls losing patience with him. Despite this, he is a very gentle and good lover and very attentive to my pleasure, but it makes me so sad I can't return the favour and I know its had a huge affect on his confidence too.

I was wondering if anyone can suggest some toys, creams, lotions - anything really that might help improve the sensitivity of his penis so he gets more sensation from being stimulated? I've also seen an american product online called the SenSlip which is effectively an artificial foreskin that is worn over the penis during the day so help protect it from friction and rubbing and so it gradually restores the feeling in the glans - does anyone know if there is a British equivalent available? Or perhaps would simply wearing a condom during the day help? I really like this guy and would like to be able to help him if I can.

I would say the less you both see it as a "problem" the less of an issue it will become. There's a massive amount of pressure on guys to be able to cum at the drop of a hat when a woman even glances their way, but really men's sexuality is just as complex as women's.

Not every woman is expected to orgasm every single time she has sex, and that's accepted. It's also accepted that it's harder for some women than others... yet they don't enjoy sex any less.

 It would help his confidence endlessly if you both stopped thinking of his lack of sensitivity as a hurdle to overcome, and instead think of it as something that is a bonus for both of you! Presumably with less sensitivity comes more stamina!

Rather than creams & lotions, why not just let him enjoy you? When I first got together with my partner, his nerves and lack of confidence meant he didn't orgasm with me for over a month after we started sleeping together... but that time gave us the opportunity to really learn what the other enjoyed and appreciate sex for the sake of sex, without the pressure of orgasm.

Just a thought!

Hi Geckogirl85 and welcome to the forums.

In answer to your question I've only ever seen this product before. Here's the link.

http://manhood.mb.ca/

Possibly similar to the senslip you mentioned. Other than that I can only suggest abstaining from touching his penis head for a few weeks to densitize it a bit as a mate of mine does who is circumcised. Best of luck. SG x

Um...well. As a guy who's circumsized, i've gotta say i'm a hell of a lot more sensitive down there and kinda wonder if it's getting him down and definitely isn't a mental block that you can overcome ( Shellyboo's got some very good points ) if seeing a doctor about it could help at all? I don't wanna say there's anything wrong, cos there probably isn't ( i'm sure someone else here will raise all the points regarding the medical side of things ) but it's a thought that crossed my mind, that if i were to feel as numb down there it'd be where i went first of all ( after putting it off a wee while of course, can't just rush off to the doc's you know, i'm a guy after all! ). I hope it's a lot easier for you guys to deal with and you can get sorted out soon enough. My other thought was not to be put off! Circumsized cocks are miles better!!!

*Runs away in full knowledge of the backlash about to ensue regarding circumsision, knowing he was joking...one cock's as good as another of course >.<

 Hi GeckoGirl,

Welcome to the forums. Although it is normal for circumcised men to be less sensitive, this sounds like quite an extreme example. Shellyboo makes some great points, but if this is something you and he feel you can't live with, then maybe Mr Boob is right and he should mention it to his GP.

How would you both feel about some very gentle prostate play? I know many men are of the "you ain't sticking a damn thing up my jaxy" school of thought, and not everyone likes the idea of stimulating their partner this way, but if you were up for it, it could be a good option. 

My partner isn't comfortable with the idea of using an anal toy (yet!) but when I have his cock in my mouth, one sneaky finger slid inside him just enough to put pressure on his prostate blows his mind and makes him cum really really hard. And really quickly, making it a good tactic if for whatever reason I want to get him there a bit faster!

I'm not really a one for creams and lotions as I'm so hideously prone to thrush and cystitis (sexy, huh?!) so I can't really advise you there, but for one of my exes who sometimes got a bit numb if we'd been at it for a while a little heat play worked wonders. You know, alternating between drinking hot drinks and sucking an ice lolly when going down on him, that sort of thing. We found the changes in temperature increased his sensitivity a lot.

I'm sure someone else will be able to advise on the lotions front - I hope you guys find a solution that you're both happy with.

SS xx

Hello,

I know some cut guys can loose sensitivity, although very few to the point they loose the feeling completely. And I agree with shellyboo completely. Some women cannot orgasm or reach it harder. And the man has to accept it. So why not  accept your partner may have harder time reaching orgasm?

I know that sex which is going on for too long can get painful and the female lublication only stays wet for as long, but that can be sorted by stopping intercourse for that moment  and maybe just touch each other. My partner could not orgasm for month and something after we got together, the nerves and a bit of me being tight down there just stopped it.

I am not sure what to suggest. Possibly cock rings? with some vibrations, but not sure. Also you may find some other sensitive parts of his body, some men really enjoy prostate massage

there could be ways to restore sensitivity in him.

the website i'm linking to is for a different issue but the prinicples of building up sensations might be useful, and Lovehoney sell everything you could need (though most techniques are free)

http://www.curedeathgrip.com/index.html

Other than learning to relax and not to worry so much about orgasm and more about enjoying your bodies (Not to make that sound like a negative) there are a few things that you can try.

Sensation lubes like warming, cooling and tingling may help with, well, sensation. It might also be worth having him masturbate using an oil type lube. I find that sometimes if my penis isn't feeling as good as it could, using an oil like vit-E oil makes things more supple and restores a bit of feeling.

Another thing to think of is to focus on other places of the body. Nipples can be very, very pleasurable, as can scrotal, perinnaum stimulation, If he is willing, anal and prostate play can be astoundingly good. The belly button and the section of skin between it and the crotch can also be very nice to have stroked. I suppose that that isn't unreasonable, because I'm sure any guy can tell you that if we are ever hit in the balls, the pain goes right through your stomach. There much be some sort of nerve connection going on there.

   General massage could be good, along with sensation play with vibrators, feathers, ticklers, wartenberg wheels, ice cubes and even candle wax, floggers and other BDSM tools if you are open to it.

   Having him blindfolded may aid feelings aswell, as the unexpected nature of it can make things feel more pronounced.

Really, anything that generates a pleasing sensation can be added to sex to increase pleasure. Using tools, toys and s&m gear might seem a little intimidating but the intention behind the act is more important than the tools. Using a flogger or blindfold doesn't require any form of power play in oder for them to be used, and can instead be a way of purly increasing stimulation.

A man who's been circumcized should still be able to perform just fine. I've been with plenty and it's never been a problem. The difficulties were things like depression, medication, lack of confidence reinforcing itself and high functioning autism.

When you talk about his difficulties being the result of his circumcision, it creates the expectation that they are permanent. That's not a good place for anyone's mind. Especially when there's a very reasonable chance that they aren't.

 I was going to suggest the same thing as sweetlove. I wasn't aware of that site, but I had heard of death grip before. Might be worth looking into.

Something else might be working in some sensation play like running a feather or an ice cube over it? Maybe even a Wartenburg wheel? 

If your man can get and keep an erection wouldnt be too worried. Just take your time, maybe not sex everytime, just a kiss, cuddle and a little rub here or there and he will soon be ready. Enjoy the sex, but dont feel bad if he doesnt shoot, it happens.

 From my experience with my boyfriend, handjobs on their own are just a no go area! For him to experience pleasure this way there needs to be a lot of lube or saliva used - he prefers saliva as it involves a blow job first!

As for sex, due to a lack of sensitivty it can often take my boyfriend a while to orgasm - great for me, not so great for him. This is why we rarely have sex without a session of foreplay beforehand.

I have also found that the usual hand job techniques are not very affective! A LOT of attention needs to paid to the head of the penis, especially the rim and frenulum.

I hope this helps, I'm speaking from my experience with a circumsised boyfriend.

x x x

As has been said, it is believed that circumsised men have decreased sensitivity, but what you describe sounds especially low sensitivity and I'd definitely suggest speaking with a doctor.

I also agree with the sentiments that making sex goal orientated is a bad idea - just enjoy the sensations - if one, or both of you orgasm great, if not, no worries!

Any difficulties are going to make it even harder as his brain fights with him - especially being a man - it's drummed into them that sex should be easy and when it isn't it can knock their confidence such that it's near on impossible to enjoy sex until he learns to feel mentally ok with it - then he can work on what, physically, is causing the problem.

Adx

 Just a thought but have you tried different sensations like heat and cold, or vibration etc.. I can just about make my hubby orgasm with the RO 80mm bullet and lube on the head of his penis..  Or invest in a fleshlight ice (so you can see) or other stroker to use on him..  Its not for everyone but I believe after tying bondage rope around my hubbys erect cock for a little while and teasing him it increases his sensitivity..   Tease him mentally more than physically to really get him going maybe rescrict him from touching you, make him watch you touch yourself get him to a point where he's begging to be touched..  Just a few ideas maybe useless but I can understand your angst..  I get most of my pleasure out of pleasuring my husband for similiar reason to your boyfriend..  I lack nearly all sensation in my nipples and my clit even internally I'm not to sensitive so most of my stimulation is in my head from pleasuring my OH..  Good luck anyway xx

I was circumsised a few years ago for medical reasons and my sensitivity has increased, maybe I have just been lucky but I just wanted to say that being circumsised does not always lead to a lack of sensitivity.

For me everything is better after the op, intercourse feels much better, but you will have to spend a bit more time to make sure your partner is moist (no bad thing and a lot of fun) and my OH loves giving head ten times more than she used to. Plus we both think it looks so sexy!

I'm circumcized but have never had major problems in the sensitivity department. Although I always have to use lube to masturbate. In your situation there must be a bit of a bonus to a guy who can keep going for a while without coming. A lot better than the 4 min standard I would say. As for advice I'd suggest trying to find out what get's him going. Maybe his anus is sensitive or as somebody suggested his prostate. The problem doesn't seem to be his erection though does it? Use plenty of lube when handling his penis, and blowjobs aren't such a turn on for the circumcized either. Maybe you just need to talk french to him ;)

My OH is circumcized and he loves me giving him blowjob. So it can be a turn on for a cut guy, but it is a personal preference. I know uncut guys who think blowjobs are boring. But my OH is not having sensitivity issues. Not even sure if he is less sensitive then uncut man. But I can experience with that one as I did not stay with my previous partner long enough.

On the other hand he is one of the guys who really hates having his anus touched to the point he looses erection so it may or may not work. Will be a lot about trying things out. And definitely patience will be needed possibly with some professional help.

 I'm circumcized and have been since before I could remember, having never experienced sex with a foreskin I really couldn't tell whether my sensitivity has increased/decreased. I would, however, love to essentially 'wear' a foreskin for a few weeks to see if it makes a difference.

I wouldn't say I have a problem with sensitivity though, like any bloke depending on how horny I am it can last 3 thrusts or 3 hours. I find it's all about technique with regard to hand jobs and blow jobs, when I've first been with girls that have only been with uncut their technique was totally wrong for me and often painful... I would just not worry about it, if he's happy to just get you off (which is the main thing with me and my lass i'd rather she came and me not than the other way round) then let him, if it really starts to worry him or bother him then see a GP that could be of more help!!

Enjoyment, and a lot of it, can still be had for circumcised males. The trick is to press down harder along the shaft and suck a bit harder on the head. 

This post goes very indepth about different techniques for oral and can be changed for circumcised males: http://divinedelightsboudoirbliss.blogspot.com/2011/07/how-to-give-great-fellatio.html

 although i'm not circumcised, i did have the problem of losing sensitivity in the old chap. Three bemused doctors later, and i had decided it must be just getting old, until my wife found an article online about 'Kegel exercises for men".

These are the same pelvic floor exercises that woman are advised to do after childbirth. It seems the exercises increase the bloodflow to the gentials, which in turn helps restore proper functioning.

I have been doing these daily for a few months now, and can thoroughly recommend every man tries it out. I can stay harder for longer, have much more sensitivity and they have also had a beneficial effect on the girth...so benefits for me and my wife!

Oh - what ever you do, do not get worried or stressed. That only makes the problems worse. Just relax and enjoy what you are doing, it will all work out well in the end.