• Jelqing

    1313931652
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    As I said - it's a different situation here. In "normal" life - I tend to agree. I'm not anti PC, it has it's uses but I do think there's a fine line between being deliberately offensive and someone being offended by something you said.

    However - this is a place where we discuss very personal, sensitive topics and topics that are often judged in the wider world. Here is a place where we strive to be non-judgemental and we take extra care to word things carefully. Because to say something potentially offensive here could give someone as serious, long term confidence knock and I for one think it's best to avoid it,

    As I said - we alter our language for different situations - for example whilst I don't avoid swearing if I'm in the vicinity of children, if I went to a childrens play area I would avoid swearing because the situation is different.

    Adx

    Well said and a good example with the swearing around children issue. I'm always careful not to try and blatantly offend someone but I'll express my opinions and if someone doesn't like them then they'll just have to deal with it. It's never a personal attack on someone.

    1313931883
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    John1986 wrote:

    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    Of course I don't discuss sexual preferences with every man I meet but of all those I have - nope they all like smaller breasts. Two out of three of my closest male friends have very small breasted partners - that doesn't automatically mean they prefer it but I've found in their cases they do :).

    If you do a search on the forums - there's a whole thread on the benefits of smaller boobies :P

    Adx

    But I bet there aren't many threads about big boobs? (Assuming I'm right) Why? Cos it's boring! Every man likes big boobs! - Sweeping generalisation yes but I don't care!

    But you could say the same about weight! Loads of threads about being overweight, very few about being underweight but I'm sure you could argue men tend to prefer overweight women to underweight.

    Adx

    I'm not sure if that example really works - I think being underweaight is a bit more of a taboo subject as it has connections with anorexia which people don't like to touch on. It seems more acceptable to say I have a thing for big women rather than I have a thing for anorexics.

    1313932345
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    Pixieking wrote:

    I wouldn't agree with that. Your possition was that, given the choise, the majority of men would want their partners to have bigger breasts. I don't believe that is true, and most of the varied things I have heard along those lines tends to come from what women believe rather than what men believe, quite similarly to how men are more likely to believe cock size is the most important criteria.

    I really am quite surprised with this. Most of the men I've spoken to tend to prefer larger breasts, but that's not to say that for all of them it's a really important thing. Most are perfectly happy with average or small breasts as there are many things that make a woman sexy. There are loads of really hot, small breasted women. But in my opinion though I think most men, if they were being honest (a lot of men don't want to offend anyone or come across as being shallow) would find them even more sexually appealing if they had larger breasts - as long as they are in proportion, have a nice shape and not too saggy.

    1313933273
    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 623
    • Joined: 26 Sep 2010

    Hi John please don't give up on the forums, this is a place for open minded and accepting adults to talk honestly about sex and sexual issues. It sometimes means there are disagreements but as we are all different that is to be expected.

    My 2ps worth, I'm a B cup and in proportion to the rest of me. While I was pregnant, from very early stages I exploded into a D/DD and I often felt that men were talking to my tits rather than to my face. It continued after I had my youngest, I dropped to a size 10 with 36D bra size while I breast fed, have to say that while I had always wanted bigger boobs I changed my mind and was really glad that they went back down once I finished feeding her.

    Sexy is an attitude, it comes from self respect and confidence not breast size or penis length and as you will discover on here not all women are size queens. Personally the size is immaterial, for me what is important is the person attached to it and how I feel about them.

    xGGx

    1313933414
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    John1986 wrote:

    I totally agree with you.

    I think the problem I've been having is that the generalisations I've made from the "real" world are not always applicable in the Lovehoney world. And I guess that this is maybe due to the "fact" that Lovehoney customer base are not representative of the UK as a whole i.e. there is a bias - there is a certain type of person who uses a website like this. And then a smaller subset who use these forums. This was not meant to sound like a negative but I couldn't find another way of wording it.

    It doesn't sound negative. I still don't agree it applies to the wider world either :P. But we *aren't* representative of the wider world here - we all tend to be lovely, liberal, open minded people who tend to be pro personal choice and pro sexual openness. I think it's actually very positive :)

    I will also say - I mix in very similar circles IRL - I hang out with Skeptics who tend to be lovely, liberal, open minded, pro personal choice and pro sexual openness and scientists who are much of the same. But I would simply say when it comes to attraction - there is a kink for everything out there. Everything you can think of - someone out there will find it attractive! We all have such variations in our preferences that when it comes to human attraction I find generalisations tend to be unhelpful.

    Adx

    Oh and PK's point about sex positivity hits the nail on the head.

    As it happens I'm also a scientist. But I can't see any of my collegaues on here! I've never met anyone in the real world who are like the people I've met on here. Everyone I know keeps their sex life fairly private and feel a bit embarassed talking about anything specific. Why is it that I only seem to meet a particular type of person? I class myself as a very open, sociable person and interact with a real cross-section of people. I work in pharmaceutical reserach, play for two football teams, go to gigs, festivals, raves, parties and the pub of course, and I've also done a bit of travelling. But why haven't I met anyone with this sort of sexual openess and "sexual positivity"? And yet you say most of the people you hang out with are like this. How do you explain this/

    Totally agree with your comment on attraction and kinks. But in my opinion, the number of people who have these kinks or "types" of people they find most attractive are not evenly distributed. Again, using porn to illustrate, there doesn't seem to be a lot of granny porn, or midget porn compared to say your typical 1 man + 1 woman, both in their 20's/30's. Of course, this is partly due to the numbers of available actors - there aren't that many midgets out there! But equally, I think it's due to the fact that these are fairly niche markets - a relatively smaller % of the population tend to go for this sort of thing. Would you not agree with this? I know it's a genralisation and this is a no no on here but come on! I know it's not very PC and I may be offending midgets and grannies but I'm not gonna spend my whole live pretending things that seem blatantly obvious to me just so I don't offend anyone.

    1313934286
    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 623
    • Joined: 26 Sep 2010

    John porn isn't reflective of real life any more than Hollywood blockbusters are. Using your example of granny porn, which isn't a term I like, google over 50s dating and see how many websites are there catering for older women looking for a younger man.

    I'm in my 40s, my partner is in his 30s and for me this is the first time I have been involved in a relationship that wasn't purely vanilla. People don't openly discuss kinks because of the stigma the closeminded attach to them. Ask your friends in the pub which of them has a girlfriend who likes anal? My guess is very few would say yes, but if you read on here there are many of us who do. The forum members are not a representative sample of the general public, as a scientist you should understand that membership on here isnt random, it is made up of people who have looked for somewhere to talk and who are more open in their thoughts about sex.

    xGGx

    1313934474
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    BashfulBabe wrote:

    John1986 wrote:

    I think it's best if I stay off these forums. I'm clearly very very different to most people on here and don't really fall in line with the whole LH ethos.

    Ah, but see that's just it: there is no "most people" here! ^_^ Honestly, that's the beauty of it, you can find someone to represent pretty much any point of view here, and for the most part people will be tolerant, even if they don't agree. All that's asked is that you grant the same courtesy.

    I know all you're trying to do is make everyone see where you're coming from with your generalisation, but all everyone else is asking you to accept is that it's your opinion and can't be held as 'fact'. Neither would anyone here claim as fact that all men love small boobs, or even that most men don't give a crap what size they are once they're getting to give 'em a honk! Bit of give and take, and that's all there is to it.

    Thing with generalisations is that they are handy for processing, but only when it's necessary. For a context-neutral thing, we say "i before e, except after c". But then we find words like "weird" that go against that. Doesn't mean we stop teaching that rule, we just also teach that there's exceptions to it. In cases like that, 'generalising' is handy, because it means that 99% of the time, you follow it and you get it right, which is better than guessing blindly will get you. However, when you get to much more fluid data, such as personal preferences in breast sizes, it's impossible to generalise, because you cannot get a large enough sample size to derive that claim from, and even if you could, you couldn't rely on the results to be perfectly factual - hell, even lie detectors aren't good enough, as some reports claim as low as ~70% accuracy (it does amuse me that there's not even a single true answer as to how accurate they are, but that's a personal love of irony). And, after all that, you have to account for shifting fashion trends, which could change before you even compile all that hard-earned data! Basically, it's not something that's possible to generalise about without fallacious reasoning. However, you're defeinitely allowed to say that you've found that most men prefer big boobs, or even that you can see the logic behind the notion that men are programmed to like them bigger. Basically, stating it as an opinion, rather than dressing it up as a generalisation.

    Bear in mind, too, that you could be insulting people without meaning it. No, it doesn't mean you have to be all crazy-PC and not squeak lest someone be offended, lawdy lawdy. Just remember that body image is a very sensitive subject - as you yourself are aware, being so conscious of your penis size that you're willing to do special exercises to get the tiniest of results! - so saying somethign like "bigger is better, so say all of mankind" does indirectly say "those smaller members of the audience? fuck off, no one wants you except the odd freak." Not your intention, I know, but when it's such a sensitive subject, it's better to try and be a bit mre considerate.

    I know what you mean about the fact that it's not as easy to make generalisations about something such as breast size preferences compared to something like the "i before e rule" but I still think it's perfectly possible. I don't think you need to have it so that it's true 99% of the time. If it's true only 60% of the time I'd say it's still useful. Especially if the remaining 40% are split between several different "categories".

    I get what you mean about changing trends as such but I don't think breast size preferences change that quickly! I think you could get a useful sample size of say, 5,000 spread across the country among different cultures etc, fairly easily if you wanted to. And with your comment on the value of lie detector tests; yes, they're never completely accurate but if they provide an accurate result 70% of the time, I'd still say that's a fairly useful tool. Especially if the "interview" was confidential with just a couple of people there. Would men bother lying about breast size preferences in this situation? Probably not (in my opinion - I need to write that with every sentence I put on here!)

    1313934873
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    rose hip wrote:

    Since John here seems to be inclined to dismiss all of the men who've loved my A cups, I'll let one of my favourite pieces of art do the talking. The woman is gorgeous, sensuous and small breasted. She might not be your cup of tea, but plenty of others appreciate that lovely shape.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lilith_(John_Collier_painting).jpg

    I tried the link but there was nothing there. Of course, there are loads of men out there who prefer smaller breasts, and I'm sure yours are lovely so I'm not dismissing the admirers of them at all! I also find plenty of women with small breasts attractive - having big boobs isn't the be all and end all. But yes, I do love busty women. I really don't mean to offend you - I'm sure there are loads of men out there who find you sexually desirable. I'm just stating my own personal preference.

    1313935092
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    crag630 wrote:

    rose hip wrote:

    Since John here seems to be inclined to dismiss all of the men who've loved my A cups, I'll let one of my favourite pieces of art do the talking. The woman is gorgeous, sensuous and small breasted. She might not be your cup of tea, but plenty of others appreciate that lovely shape.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lilith_(John_Collier_painting).jpg

    Im not an arty person but she is quite something.

    I totally agree. She's gorgeous. But it's not her breasts that really grab my attention. I think I'd find her even more attractive if she had a nice set of DD's. But that's just me - I'm sure there are thousands out there who would prefer it if she had smaller breasts or think they are perfect as they are.

    1313935521
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    ghostgirl wrote:

    John porn isn't reflective of real life any more than Hollywood blockbusters are. Using your example of granny porn, which isn't a term I like, google over 50s dating and see how many websites are there catering for older women looking for a younger man.

    I'm in my 40s, my partner is in his 30s and for me this is the first time I have been involved in a relationship that wasn't purely vanilla. People don't openly discuss kinks because of the stigma the closeminded attach to them. Ask your friends in the pub which of them has a girlfriend who likes anal? My guess is very few would say yes, but if you read on here there are many of us who do. The forum members are not a representative sample of the general public, as a scientist you should understand that membership on here isnt random, it is made up of people who have looked for somewhere to talk and who are more open in their thoughts about sex.

    xGGx

    Totally agree with your point about membership on here not being random - I actually made this point on an earlier post when I was trying to explain my opinion on the value of generalisations. Apologies for use of the term "granny porn." But this is what I mean about my dislike about this politically correct world I live in. I really wasn't trying to offend all the grandmothers out there - I was just using a term that most people are familiar with rather than sit here and try and tiptoe my way through my words.

    1313937165
    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1171
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2010

    John1986 wrote:

    rose hip wrote:

    Since John here seems to be inclined to dismiss all of the men who've loved my A cups, I'll let one of my favourite pieces of art do the talking. The woman is gorgeous, sensuous and small breasted. She might not be your cup of tea, but plenty of others appreciate that lovely shape.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lilith_(John_Collier_painting).jpg

    I tried the link but there was nothing there. Of course, there are loads of men out there who prefer smaller breasts, and I'm sure yours are lovely so I'm not dismissing the admirers of them at all! I also find plenty of women with small breasts attractive - having big boobs isn't the be all and end all. But yes, I do love busty women. I really don't mean to offend you - I'm sure there are loads of men out there who find you sexually desirable. I'm just stating my own personal preference.

    How is something like "Every man likes big boobs! - Sweeping generalisation yes but I don't care!" just stating your personal preference?

    1313947850
    SweetSubmission [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 447
    • Joined: 7 Sep 2009

    men don't really care if your back's hurting and you strfuggle to find bras

    for some reason my stupid ego wants to hear her say "Ooh John, you're so big, it's hurting me"

    I think a lot of straight men would get a bit of a thrill from hitting her cervix

    The point about political correctness and using careful phrasing when posting is an interesting and important one. Looking at what you've written above, that's three times you've said you don't care if your partner is in pain if it contributes to your sexual thrill. And by saying "men" rather than "I", you're suggesting that the entire male sex is the same. A reader could therefore be forgiven for thinking that you are a selfish, callous misogynist and you believe all other men to be the same. I'm sure you're not, actually, someone who fits this description, but that's exactly why you do need to phrase posts carefully, not for the sake of political correctness, but to avoid misrepresenting yourself and your opinions. (I don't mean you specifically John, I mean "one", but didn't want to sound like the Queen!)

    Don't be put off the forums - the fact that people here differ is the best thing about them. In fact, the differences of opinion here make it one of the most interesting threads that's popped up in quite some time.

    My take on the matter? I have natural 34 K breasts. Some men drool over them, some have said they are off-puttingly large, and some don't seem to notice at all. The only person who gets to see them up close is my partner - and I choose him not because his penis is a particular size but because, amongst other things, he absolutley does care if my back hurts.

    SS xx

    1313948284
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    rose hip wrote:

    John1986 wrote:

    rose hip wrote:

    Since John here seems to be inclined to dismiss all of the men who've loved my A cups, I'll let one of my favourite pieces of art do the talking. The woman is gorgeous, sensuous and small breasted. She might not be your cup of tea, but plenty of others appreciate that lovely shape.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lilith_(John_Collier_painting).jpg

    I tried the link but there was nothing there. Of course, there are loads of men out there who prefer smaller breasts, and I'm sure yours are lovely so I'm not dismissing the admirers of them at all! I also find plenty of women with small breasts attractive - having big boobs isn't the be all and end all. But yes, I do love busty women. I really don't mean to offend you - I'm sure there are loads of men out there who find you sexually desirable. I'm just stating my own personal preference.

    How is something like "Every man likes big boobs! - Sweeping generalisation yes but I don't care!" just stating your personal preference?

    Well yes you're right - in that post I stated an opinion - in my opinion every man likes big boobs (and yes, I'm aware that not every man likes big boobs). However, in the post you're quoting I was in fact stating my personal preference - I personally like big boobs.

    1313948490
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    SweetSubmission wrote:

    men don't really care if your back's hurting and you strfuggle to find bras

    for some reason my stupid ego wants to hear her say "Ooh John, you're so big, it's hurting me"

    I think a lot of straight men would get a bit of a thrill from hitting her cervix

    The point about political correctness and using careful phrasing when posting is an interesting and important one. Looking at what you've written above, that's three times you've said you don't care if your partner is in pain if it contributes to your sexual thrill. And by saying "men" rather than "I", you're suggesting that the entire male sex is the same. A reader could therefore be forgiven for thinking that you are a selfish, callous misogynist and you believe all other men to be the same. I'm sure you're not, actually, someone who fits this description, but that's exactly why you do need to phrase posts carefully, not for the sake of political correctness, but to avoid misrepresenting yourself and your opinions. (I don't mean you specifically John, I mean "one", but didn't want to sound like the Queen!)

    Don't be put off the forums - the fact that people here differ is the best thing about them. In fact, the differences of opinion here make it one of the most interesting threads that's popped up in quite some time.

    My take on the matter? I have natural 34 K breasts. Some men drool over them, some have said they are off-puttingly large, and some don't seem to notice at all. The only person who gets to see them up close is my partner - and I choose him not because his penis is a particular size but because, amongst other things, he absolutley does care if my back hurts.

    SS xx

    I admit I am a callous selfish misogynist. I wish I wasn't but that's the way I am. I'm sorry if I dragged the rest of the male population down with me. Sorry guys!

    1313958959
    kunoichi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 36
    • Joined: 2 Apr 2011

    SweetSubmission wrote:

    men don't really care if your back's hurting and you strfuggle to find bras

    for some reason my stupid ego wants to hear her say "Ooh John, you're so big, it's hurting me"

    I think a lot of straight men would get a bit of a thrill from hitting her cervix

    The point about political correctness and using careful phrasing when posting is an interesting and important one. Looking at what you've written above, that's three times you've said you don't care if your partner is in pain if it contributes to your sexual thrill. And by saying "men" rather than "I", you're suggesting that the entire male sex is the same. A reader could therefore be forgiven for thinking that you are a selfish, callous misogynist and you believe all other men to be the same. I'm sure you're not, actually, someone who fits this description, but that's exactly why you do need to phrase posts carefully, not for the sake of political correctness, but to avoid misrepresenting yourself and your opinions. (I don't mean you specifically John, I mean "one", but didn't want to sound like the Queen!)

    Don't be put off the forums - the fact that people here differ is the best thing about them. In fact, the differences of opinion here make it one of the most interesting threads that's popped up in quite some time.

    My take on the matter? I have natural 34 K breasts. Some men drool over them, some have said they are off-puttingly large, and some don't seem to notice at all. The only person who gets to see them up close is my partner - and I choose him not because his penis is a particular size but because, amongst other things, he absolutley does care if my back hurts.

    SS xx

    This. Absolutely one of the reasons I have chosen my oh *to be* my oh is because he cares whether or not I am in pain. And obviously he would prefer that I not be in pain.

    1313962813
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    Lovehoney - Hella wrote:

    It's nice to be nice, guys.

    Does anyone want to discuss jelqing in this thread or shall we save it for another night?

    Thank you! We've rather gone off the point haven't we?! Anyone got any advice or opinions on this matter?

    1314000380
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Thankyou Hella. We have gone on long enough I think, and I think the points have been made clear.

    The question I have though, is do you still want to go ahead with techniques to make yourself larger? I know that somewhere in the back of your mind there will be something saying that size matters to you, so you probably still want to try it. But do *you* feel it's worth it?

    Well it's worth a go. I've been doing it for a couple of days now and I'll probably give it a couple of months and see where I am. It actually feels very nice doing the exercises so it's no bother. And my penis does look temporarily bigger when I'm doing it. Hopefully the changes will eventually become permanent. I definitely feel it's worth it. I think I'd be much more confident with a larger penis and would definitely feel more sexually desirable to women (even if that's maybe not actually true).

    1314075917
    Janny [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 679
    • Joined: 17 May 2011

    Stop spending money on these things, they will not grow your penis, whatever they say on the net. Be proud and confident with what you have and the ladies will like it.

    1314089422
    John1986 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 5 Jun 2011

    Janny wrote:

    Stop spending money on these things, they will not grow your penis, whatever they say on the net. Be proud and confident with what you have and the ladies will like it.

    But then why are there 2 very good reviews on here for the cream I'm using? And it was only £15 or something - worth a gamble.

    1314105858
    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 729
    • Joined: 24 Apr 2010

    Sometimes even if it's only a 'placebo effect', it can be worth the dosh. I know with some of the aphrodisiac beauty products, regardless of whether they worked or not, feeling like you were more sexually attractive was enough to make your confidence make you more attractive. So even if there's zero change, if you feel like you've improved, the facts don't matter, because the confidence makes such a massive difference.

    Incidentally, have you tried using a cock ring if it's for during sex? I still remember the first time my fella put one on, there was a definite increase in size - mostly girth, but a little length - and it was immediate, if temporary (and a little scary, since he's not exactly tiny to begin with!).

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.