• Am I totally cock blocking myself?

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    MaloSiempre [sign in to see picture]
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    I seem to have a major problem getting off. Well, obviously I can get myself off, with no problem at all, but when I am with my guy, it very rarely happens and I mean very rarely.

    I know he can get me off, cause it has happened before and believe me, everything he does feels amazing, so I know it's nothing he's doing.

    I can get like right there and then just nothing. I've decided it must be something I'm doing, like something psychological, my brain has just decided that I'm not allowed to orgasm. I feel so bad for my guy too, he tries so hard to get me there and feels so bad when it doesn't happen. Gah!

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    XXXGXSTRINGXXX [sign in to see picture]
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    I have the same problem.. I've only ever had 2 orgasm's in my whole life.. i have a huge sex drive too and totally love our sex life my hubby is amazing, I get close soo many time but then bang it switches off

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    Janny [sign in to see picture]
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    This happens to men also - you can be as turned on as ever, and it's really really nice, but 'it' does not happen? Weird really? The other halves always think it is something wrong with them and feel hurt, but it happens.

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    star light [sign in to see picture]
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    im sorry to hear you need to tell ya hubby all your A an G spot areas so he can then bring you to a full orgasmic night you will both enjoy more hits than misses hope your not offended by me. its taken 10yrs to climax to ejeculation with my hubby but now im on tap and we never have nothing but orgasmic nights it takes time but good luck

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    dildofan [sign in to see picture]
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    How about a tantric massage, no sex, just him massaging your labia and clitoris?

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    katmiaow [sign in to see picture]
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    the most important thing is that you don't worry about it- you have to try and think to yourself 'ok, so if i come today i do, if i don't then it doesn't matter, there's always next time'. because what you could be doing is getting yourself to that point of orgasm then something kicking in in your brain that's putting you off. worrying about it is going to make it less and less likely that you will have an orgasml.

    just enjoy all the pleasure he is giving you and you are giving him! and make sure he isn't getting self conscious and concerned either- reassure him that he is doing everything right and that it's just something you need to work on.

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    Janny [sign in to see picture]
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    star light wrote:

    im sorry to hear you need to tell ya hubby all your A an G spot areas so he can then bring you to a full orgasmic night you will both enjoy more hits than misses hope your not offended by me. its taken 10yrs to climax to ejeculation with my hubby but now im on tap and we never have nothing but orgasmic nights it takes time but good luck

    dildofan wrote:

    How about a tantric massage, no sex, just him massaging your labia and clitoris?

    Agree with both of you. Think it is important to be comfortable, and yeah ask him to touch you the way you like it, or use his tounge down there, most men love that!!!

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    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
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    Sometimes it can just be that you're enjoying it TOO much! I sometimes find while having stupidly good sex, I'm enjoying it so much that I kind of don't want to come, and somehow then I can't: like subconsciously I've flipped a switch to refuse orgasm because it would only be a let-down compared to the amazing-ness-ness of the sex itself.

    On the plus side, if you can put it like that and he can understand, he might even start to feel proud of the times you can't come! ^_^

    But definitely the pressure to perform to keep him happy is going to make sure it never happens. Make sure you do or say something to make him less focused on it, and then you're more likely to be able to focus on yourself and see for sure what's up.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I have to agree with BB - I often am so satisfied by the sex that I feel like I've already orgasmed (and we all know it's generally more difficult to orgasm when you've just had one) even though I know I haven't.

    It's so important that you relax, try not to worry and don't try too hard! You need him to understand that just because you didn't orgasm doesn't mean you've not enjoyed an amazing session! You need to completely take the pressure off. You never know, as soon as you relax you'll not be able to stop them coming!

    I rarely orgasm during a session, I don't actually really enjoy them because my muscles are too strong and the pulsing sensation can be quite uncomfortable.

    It's important to focus on just how wonderful the session is - it might sound cliche, but it really is the journey that's much more enjoyable than the destination :)

    Adx

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    C&M [sign in to see picture]
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    I know it's easy for me to say, but you just have to free your mind and submit to the pleasurable feelings you get from the stimulation. It would seem that you reach a point, and your brain kicks in and says "no chance, not today - or any other day for that matter". You just have give your brain something else to think about.

    May I suggest a little lubrication? No, not down below, but for the brain. A little bit of alcohol may be all it takes to loosen the the stresses which are holding you back. I do mean a little bit though, maybe ono or two glasses of wine, and no more. Any more than that, and the alcohol will have an adverse effect.

    Once your brain overcomes these barriers, it will become much easier to orgasm, even without alcohol. I really is a case of getting over that first hurdle.

    Good luck, and enjoy trying ;)

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